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- Commisioner's Note
- League News
- Whispers From Around the IFFL
- 7 Things I Think I Think
December
12/20/12
Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls and Tequila Sunrise for advancing to the IFFL Super Bowl XVI
Box scores from the semifinals are posted as well as the projected lineups for the Super Bowl.
12/12/12
Wildcard weekend is over and the Whalers and Personality have advanced!
Wildcard round box scores are up. Semi-Final projected lineups are posted.
12/6/12
The Playoffs are here! Congratulations to Salisbury, New Delhi, Hartford, Taipei, Pittsburgh and Tequila. All roster moves are frozen except for the playoff teams.
Week 13 Box Scores, final standings, 7 Things, Whispers, League News, roster moves, Wildcard previews and projected lineups are updated.
November
11/29/12
Projected Lineups and roster moves are up to date.
11/28/12
Box Scores, Roster Moves and Standings have been updated.
11/22/12
Box scores are up. Roster Moves, League News, Standings and projected lineups have been updated.
11/17/12
Whispers, 7 Things, League News and roster moves have been updated.
11/15/12
Projected line-ups have been posted. Roster moves are current.
11/14/12
Roster moves are current.
11/13/12
Week 10 results, Box Scores and standings have been updated.
11/8/12
Week 10 projected lineups, league news, Whispers and 7 Things
are posted. Roster moves have been updated.
11/6/12
Results, box scores and standings are updated.
11/2/12
Previews and league news are now posted.
11/1/12
Posted projected lineups and roster moves are current.
October
10/31/12
Roster moves are current and league news has been updated.
10/30/12
Week 8 results and box scores are posted and the standings are updated as well.
10/28/12
Roster moves are current and league news has been updated.
10/26/12
Roster moves are current.
10/25/12
Lineup predictions, Game previews, League News, 7 Things and Whispers are updated. Roster moves will be posted tomorrow.
10/24/12
Roster moves are current and standings are updated.
10/23/12
Week 7 results and box scores are posted.
10/20/12
Roster moves are updated.
10/18/12
Projected lineups, previews, League News, Whispers and 7 Things are updated.
Roster moves are current.
10/16/12
Week 6 results and box scores are posted. Roster moves and standings are current.
10/11/12
Projected linups posted, as well as League News, Whispers and 7 Things updated.
10/10/12
Roster moves are current, results and box scores are up and the standings have been updated.
10/4/12
Roster moves are updated. Possible lineups are also up.
10/3/12
Week 4 results and box scores are up; as well as updated roster moves and standings.
September
9/28/12
I think everything is up to date as of Friday evening. Let me know if it's not and don't forget that bye weeks start this week.
9/21/12
Front page modified. How do ya like it?
9/20/12
OK, better late than never. I think I've got most everything up to date. Roster moves, rosters, Week 2 results, Week 3 previews and the standings are updated. If they are not then let me know. Good luck in week 3!
9/13/12
Roster moves are up to date and week 2 previews are up.
9/12/12
Game results are up and the standings are updated. Don't forget if you've got a Bear or Packer on your team to get me those players by tomorrow night.
9/5/12
...and the season is finally here!
Good luck everybody! The rosters are up to date as are the roster moves. I've got previews up and ready. I based the preview rosters on protected players and draft status if I haven't gotten your lineup yet. I will update as I receive them.
August
8/26/12
Thanks everyone for a great draft!!!
Everyone who was able to make it to the draft I hope you had a great time, and those who weren't able to attend this year I hope you'll be able to make it next year.
The 2013 IFFL draft will be held here at Dogwood Springs next August the Saturday before Labor Day weekend... I think it's the 24th.
The team rosters and free agents are updated and current. Please check your team and make sure I didn't miss anybody.
Starting at 11:59 PM on August 31st teams can start cutting and signing players.
8/22/12
IFFL Draft! 2:00 PM Saturday August 25th, 2012
Ok all, here is the address of Dogwood Springs (my families property)-
1826 N. SR 43
Bloomfield, IN 47424
For some reason mapquest won't accept it and google maps wants it in Solsberry instead so be warned.
My iPhone gave me good directions to it when I tested it from Bloomington, so if you have an iPhone then feel confident using it. I'm going to list the directions here as a backup or if you don't have a GPS.
1) take 37 South to Bloomington
2) take the ramp onto IN-45 S
3) drive 11.7 miles then continue onto IN-445 W
4) drive 1.4 miles then continue onto IN-54 W
5) drive 0.3 miles then turn right onto IN-43 N
6) drive about 0.5 miles and it will be on the right hand side at the bottom of the hill.
I will have a sign at the driveway so you can spot it. Neon Orange with IFFL written on it in black... shouldn't be hard to spot.
8/12/12
Players with new contracts:
Here are the players whose prices will change this season if you protect them... please let me know ASAP if that changes who you will be protecting, thanks.
| Quarterbacks |
Price |
Peyton Manning |
1.50 |
Philip Rivers |
3.10 |
| Running Backs |
|
Ray Rice |
3.00 |
Rashard Mendenhall |
1.86 |
Steven Jackson |
1.70 |
Shonn Greene |
1.66 |
Matt Forte |
1.48 |
Frank Gore |
1.82 |
Jamaal Charles |
0.40 |
Maurice Jones-Drew |
2.00 |
| Wide Recievers |
|
Roddy White |
1.95 |
DeSean Jackson |
0.85 |
Greg Jennings |
2.20 |
Brandon Marshall |
1.10 |
| Tight Ends |
|
Dallas Clark |
0.48 |
8/5/2012
OK, it is time once more for a new fantasy football season!
The 2012 IFFL Draft will be held on August 25, 2012 at my family's property in Greene County, about 20 miles outside of Bloomington, IN. Address and directions will be coming soon, please let me know at least a few days before whether you will be attending so I can make sure there is enough food and drink and stuff.
The price list is up and current as is the draft order on the Draft Central page.
I'll be posting the players whose contracts are up this week so you guys will know if there is a change in price if you protect somebody. I'll also need your three protected players as soon as you can.
Good luck this season!
Luck Leads Pittsburgh to Division Title, Wins Player of the Week - Dec. 5
Pittsburgh, PENNSYLVANIA – Andrew Luck all but sewed up the Rookie of the Year award on Sunday with a magnificent 391yard, 4 td performance and leading the team to a 9-4 record and a trip to the playoffs. Luck has almost singlehandedly turned the culture in Pittsburgh, and with fellow Rookie of the year nominee RB Doug Martin the team is positioned for big runs in the future.
The San Antonio defense led the team to it's third consecutive victory this week. Amassing 5 sacks and 6 total turnovers the Mexican'ts defense harried the Boy Scouts all game long. Under league scoring rules the defense led the team with 11 points.
Schaub's Record Setting Day Enough To Earn Week 11 Player of the Week - Nov. 22
San Antonio, TEXAS - On Sunday Mexican'ts QB Matt Schaub became the most prolific single game scorer in IFFL history. Schaub single-handedly beat the Pirates by passing for 527 yards and 5 TD's. By league scoring rules he finished with a total of 54 points.
Taipei's defense has done it again, winning Defensive of the Week for the third time this season. The Personality D held the New Delhi Subs to a paltry 143 net yards while totalling 6 sacks, 2 interceptions and a safety, for a total of 17 points under league scoring rules.
Week 10 sees Matt Ryan, Hartford Defense Take Player of the Week Honors - Nov. 17
New Delhi, INDIA – Matt Ryan capped off a career day with and a victory over the Salisbury, by capturing offensive player of the week honors as well. Ryan who threw for 413 yards, and 3 touchdowns for 24 points under league scoring guidelines has led the Subs back into firm playoff contention and possibly another division title, where they are currently tied for the top spot. “Matt played one hell of a game today and avenged one of our worst defeats of the season with this win,” said owner Pete Shaunki.
The Hartford Whaler defense singlehandedly beat the South Carolina Scarecrows in week 10 racked up 7 sacks, 2 interceptions, 2 touchdowns, and a safety. Plus they knocked Ben Roethlisberger out of the game, and possibly the season with a rib injury on one of those 7 sacks . The Whalers were looking for another sack but the league denied it, it was the sack of the Scarecrows
Salisbury Rides Defense While Martin Runs Past Chicage to Earn Week 9 Player of the Week - Nov. 7
Pittsburgh, PENNSYLVANIA – Rookie Pittsburgh RB Doug Martin ran over, thru, and around the Chicago defense on his way to 272 yards and 4 touchdowns for a total of 36 points under league scoring guidelines. Martin’s game was a follow up to a 214 yard 2 touchdown game in week 8 against the division rival Kats. “Ive just been in a zone here recently, the offensive line is getting good blocks at the right time and I'm able to use those blocks for 50, 60 yard runs,” said Martin.
The dominating Salisbury defense was back on the prowl last week against the South Carolina Scarecrows. The Snappers were able to get to Ben Roethlisberger for 2 sacks, an interception, 4 fumbles, and 2 touchdowns, for a total of 19 points scored. This is the Salisbury defenses 2nd selection for defense of the week
Sunrise Help Scarecrows Make One Final Swap - Nov. 1
Tequila, NEW MEXICO – The Tequila Sunrise came a knocking one Halloween and they left Columbia with WR Santana Moss but left WR Dwayne Bowe behind. The mostly disappointing Bowe (in the Sunrise eyes) was on the verge of being cut from the roster anyways, but now Tequila gets a chance to ride the hot hand in Santana Moss 3 td’s in last 2 games.
For South Carolina it's all summed up nicely in this press release from the owner, “The South Carolina Scarecrows decided to make one last move before the trade deadline and came to terms with the Tequila Sunrise to swap wide receivers Santana Moss for Dwayne Bowe. Moss had made it known he wasn't happy riding the bench in South Carolina so we (as we always do) tried to accommodate our player and sent him packing to another top team in Tequila. In return we feel that we have strengthen out WR position in case injury concerns pop up with our run to the playoffs. It is no secret that Jordy Nelson has been dealing with hamstring issues and we need to have a back up at that position in case this issue is drawn out.” The trade is on the commissioners desk awaiting approval.
Animals Get Stewart From Whalers for Package of Players - Nov. 1
Indianapolis, INDIANA – The Animals got another RB, and in the span of 5 days, have recreated their offensive backfield going from starting only Michael Bush to being able to pair Jonathan Stewart with LeSean McCoy.
“Right now we are confident we can go into any stadium in the league and control the ball and score points with the best of the best,” said Indy owner Kevin Ryburn.
“We got a player who was in a bad situation in Hartford where they throw the ball more than they run it, and they should with the QB and WR’s that they possess. What we gave up was hard to pull the trigger o, but in the future we should be able to get back what we lost and then some, hopefully in the form of a league championship.” He finished.
On the Hartford side of things its been an up an d down season and team owner was just looking to move some ‘trash’ as he called it. When asked for comment we were told there was no explanation needed and that the team would address the situation on the field. The trade is now on the desk of the commissioner awaiting league approval.
Taipei QB Stafford, New Delhi Defense Earn Week 8 Player of the Week Honors - Nov. 1
Taipei, TAIWAN – QB Matthew Stafford who has battled back from his early season benching, proved his coach to be right, when he made the call to start Stafford over Dalton in week 8 against Salisbury. “This was a total team effort, from the offensive line that made it possible for me to stay upright to the receivers who held on to the ball,” said Stafford. The award is Stafford’s first of the season and he accounted for 27 points on 364 yards passing and 4 touchdowns.
The New Delhi Subs got a great defensive performance last week that propelled them to the victory, 4 sacks, 4 interceptions, 2 fumble recoveries, and a td later showed the defense accounting for 16 points and a total domination of the Drew Brees led Boy Scouts. “When I jumped I hoped to just knock the ball to the ground but then I came down and still had the ball so I started runn-ing (best Forrest Gump voice) and ended up in the endzone,” said Jason Pierre Paul of his interception return.
Scarecrows Send McFadden, Bush to Chicago in Deadline Deal - Oct. 31
Chicago, Illnois – With the trade deadline a mere 30 hours away the South Carolina Scarecrows and the Chicago Fightin’ Ditka’s have made a trade. The Scarecrows sent RB’s Darren McFadden (traded 3 times this year) and Reggie Bush (drafted by Chicago and traded to SC and back to Chicago) to the Fightin’ Ditka’s for RB Matt Forte. The deal is on the commissioner’s desk for approval.
Trevor Harless is ecstatic about the move today as witnessed by this statement from the owner, “Finally my team is coming into shape. The Vision I had for my team early in the year prior to the draft couldn't happen as our draft position caused us to miss out on some of the top RB talent and made us focus on stock piling WR to use to our advantage as trade bait when the trade deadline drew near. We are happy to announce that the South Carolina Scarecrows roster is now complete. With the acquisition of RB Matt "Kia" Forte our back field is now strong like bull! With Alfred Morris and Matt Forte the Scarecrows dare anyone to try and stop our running game! If you stick 8 or 9 in the box Big Ben will be able to drop it down field to one of our OUTSTANDING WR. This is the vision I have had all along for our team, it just took some time to complete it. We thank Mcfadden and Bush for their short time here and looked impressive enough to draw in the last peice of our championship puzzle.
We look forward to finishing up the second half of the season with a strong run at the playoff's and hope to soon have the IFFL Championship Trophy back where it belongs; In the Harless Household!
Amen or something.”
Scarecrows, Mexican'ts Consummate Deal... Finally! - Oct. 28
San Antonio, TEXAS – South Carolina has received Pierre Garcon from San Antonio for Cam Newton the 2nd year QB. This deal is a first between the 2 teams and if the Scarecrows go on to get the better end of the deal. The trade is now on the desk of the commissioner for his approval.
“This team is finally starting to look like the vision I have in my head of what the team needs to look like for us to be a contender in this league,” said a statement by Mexican’ts owner Tanya Harless.
Now the last 5 games will be an audition for the strong armed QB, who will try to unseat starter Matt Schaub. Schaub has played brilliantly in the 3 games since he took over for Vick, who was traded earlier in the day to Larry Fitzgerald formerly of Salisbury.
For the Scarecrows this is just another sign that the team isn’t sure whether it should buy or sell by Thursday’s trade deadline, I'm sure this week tell the team the story of 2012.
Salisbury, Boise and San Antonio In 3-Way Action - Oct. 28
Salisbury, MARYLAND – The Salisbury Snappers, the Boise Boy Scouts and the San Antonio Mexican’ts have worked a 3 way deal on the Saturday before the trade deadline. The Snappers sent WR Larry Fitzgerald to San Antonio for QB Michael Vick and WR Lance Moore, who they in turn sent to Boise for Golden Tate.
“Golden Tate is a player that we have high hopes for, we love Larry Fitzgerald and hope that we can work together again, but the fact of the matter is, we are a running team first then we throw. I wish Larry Fitzgerald the best of luck in San Antonio. Now for the player we got, we are very excited to see Mr. Vick back in black and green we have had success before and plan to do it again,” stated owner Jason Beaver.
The Mexican’ts are looking to build for the future with the addition of Fitzgerald who automatically becomes Matt Schaub’s number one target. “Matt and Larry will be one of the top duos in the IFFL when all is said and done.” said owner Tanya Harless. The Boise Boy Scouts get another WR in Lance Moore for QB Drew Brees to throw passes to, while RB Maurice Jones Drew is on the mend from a foot injury. The trade is now in the hands of the commissioner for approval.
Subs Trade LeSean McCoy to the Animals - Oct. 28
New Delhi, INDIA – The Subs have traded RB LeSean McCoy for Animals WR Victor Cruz in a very surprising move. The Subs had given absolutely no indication that they were interested in moving the 24 year old McCoy. Said a league source, “Apparently the call was made early this afternoon by Animals owner Kevin Ryburn he talked to Pete for about 15 minutes and after that call the dominoes were set in motion for the deal to go down.”
“The New Delhi Subs would like to thank LeSean McCoy for his service to the team, in the end though it comes down to what makes the team better, we feel that Victor Cruz, will do just that make the team better, plus he knows how to Salsa and my wife has been bugging me to take dancing lessons, so this is a two for one situation” said Shaunki.
This deal makes the 5-2 Animals a serious threat to make an impact in the IFFL playoffs. QB Aaron Rodgers just got a complimentary piece that he will need in the very near future. The trade is on the commissioners desk for approval.
Teams Look To Make Deals As Trade Deadline Looms
Tequila, NEW MEXICO - The IFFL trade deadline is set for Thursday November 1, 2012 at 5:20pm PST. Any trades need to be sent to the commissioner’s office for approval by the deadline, or they will not be processed and the trade will be voided.
“We have so many irons in the fire that, we are going to need every second to get the details worked out on the deals,” said one team executive.
Said another executive, “I guess it’s time to put up or shut up, I’ve been stringing other teams along for 3 weeks now, I guess I’ll have to give it up or earn a cruel nickname.”
Taipei RB Johnson, San Antonio Defense Win Week 7 Player of the Week Honors
San Antonio, TEXAS – Chris Johnson has the dubious honor of being the first winner of Offensive player of the week on a losing team. Johnson ran for 198 yards and 2 touchdowns against the New Whiteland defense. “I just want to say to all the haters out there, keep believing I'm a has been please, I feed off your hate,” said Johnson after the game. Johnson accounted for 15 points for the Personality.
The San Antonio defense has been much maligned this season, but on Sunday they came out and played exactly how people expected them to play while leading the team to the playoffs. The Mexican’ts had 4 sacks, 2 interceptions, a safety and a touchdown.
Division Rivals Swap Runners as Both Subs and Scarecrows Look to Improve
Columbia, SOUTH CAROLINA – The New Delhi Subs and the South Carolina Scarecrows have agreed to a trade. The highlight of the trade sees the teams swap starting RB’s with the Subs getting Michael Turner, Torrey Smith, and Heath Miller while the Scarecrows will get Darren McFadden, Mike Williams, and Martellus ‘Black Unicorn’ Bennett. “The South Carolina Scarecrows would like to announce we have acquired some great talent today that should pay off in the future. Not just in future years but in future weeks as our running game and our passing game have just taken leaps and bounds forwards,” said South Carolina owner Trevor Harless.
Harless continues, “We are glad to welcome back two of our former players, as we have missed Run DMC and Mike ‘all he does is catch TD's’ Williams. We feel they are the missing pieces to that championship puzzle. We are also super happy to have one of the great TE's in Bennett that should help our team and our quarterbacks for years to come. Besides Turner was on his last leg and we are happy to ship him over-seas like a dying dog. We will miss Smith but really he just got replaced and Heath Miller had one good game for us and we are happy to move him along too. This is just great for us and we can't believe we raped New Delhi like we did.”
This trade can do no wrong for either team as the teams are not living up to expectations with New Delhi on a 4 game losing streak and South Carolina one play from probably being 1-5. This is the 2nd time McFadden has been traded this season going from San Antonio to New Delhi in week 2.
Will the trade turn the tides for each team? Who knows, but what we do know is the commissioners office has the paperwork for review before they issue final approval.
Rodgers Shows Animal(s) Side, Whalers Score Big Earning Players of the Week for Week 6
Hartford, CONNECTICUT – The IFFL announced that Indianapolis Animals QB Aaron Rodgers has been named IFFL offensive player of the week for week 6. Rodgers compiled stats befitting of the reigning MVP, throwing for 383 yards and 6 touchdowns against an outmanned Chicago squad. Rodgers accounted for 39 of the Animals 61 points in week 6. Rodgers performance helped his team improve their record to 4-2 on the season.
The Hartford Whalers defense scored an amazing 22 points against the Butte Pirates in week 6, scoring on a fumble return for a TD by Tony Carter and an interception return by Chris Harris. The Whalers also got 4 sacks, 3 interceptions and a fumble recovery. Hartford evened their record to 3-3 on the season.
Boise's Reggie Wayne, Salisbury Defense Named Players of the Week for Week 5
Boise, IDAHO –Boy Scouts wide receiver Reggie Wayne has been named IFFL Offensive Player of the Week for week 5 after leading his team to an upset victory over the Indianapolis Animals. Wayne lit up the stat sheet going off for 211 yards and a touchdown, for a total of 12 points under league scoring guidelines. “I'm really proud of Reggie. He has been one heck of a veteran leader for this team and he has really clicked with Drew,” said owner Josh Prine.
The Salisbury Snapper defense has been named IFFL Defense of the Week for week 5. The Snappers were able to correct their mistakes from last week and get back in the winners column. The team has been on a 3 week run of great stats, getting upset each of the last 2 weeks by the Taipei defense. Being spurned by the voters has left a bad taste in LB Lance Brigg’s mouth, “I can’t stand how prejudicial this voting has gotten in the last few years.” The Snapper Defense scored 21 total points on 2 TD’s, 3 sacks, 2 interceptions and a fumble recovery.
Brady, Taipei Earn Week 4 Player of the Week Honors
Hartford, CONNECTICUT – Tom Brady thrashed the Salisbury Snappers, on Monday night in Maryland and on Tuesday he was honored by the league with week 4 offensive player of the week. Brady just went off throwing for 344 yards and 3 td’s while adding a rushing td, and accounting for 25 of his team’s 68 points. “It’s just a team effort when we go out and win; honestly I thought Roddy deserved this more,” said Brady.
Last week Taipei’s defense was the league’s defense of the week, and we wondered what they would do for an encore, how about an even more impressive performance, dominating a Drew Brees led offense, erupting for 27 points based on league scoring guidelines, 3 sacks, 1 int, 3 fumble recoveries, 2 touch downs, 145 yards allowed, and a shutout. “This is just one hell of an honor, two weeks in a row, I cant believe it, I want to thank the coaches for getting us prepared to crush the opposition,” said LB Patrick Willis.
Taipei Personality Sweep Week 3 Player of the Week Honors - Sept. 28
Taipei, TAIWAN – The Taipei Personality earned a rare double this week with RB Jamaal Charles rushing to his Week 3 Player of the Week honors, while the defense sacked New Delhi a league high 8 times on Sunday.
Charles led the offense chewing up 288 yards on 35 carries and scoring once. “I feel like I'm finally back to 100% healthy and I can just go out and play,” said Charles. Charles totaled up 18 points under the leagues scoring rules while the defense totaled 8.
While Charles was running umimpeded, the Taipei defense was dominating in earning Defense of the Week. Matt Ryan was running for his life the entire evening and had no way of stopping the Taipei defense, said Ryan after the game, “It’s almost as if they knew what the play was before we even had a chance to snap the ball.”
Eli Manning Lights Up The Scoreboard, Wins Week 2 Player of the Week - Sept. 21
Chicago, ILLINOIS – On a beautiful Sunday in September, the Chicago Fightin’ Ditka’s knew something was special. Down the road about 4 hours in Indiana, Eli Manning made sure that it was 508 yards and 3 TD’s special, as he was named IFFL Player of the Week for week 2 of the 2012 season. “It’s a great honor to get this award but in reality it was a team effort and I wouldn’t be standing here without this team surrounding me,” said Manning. Eli finished with 42 total points under the leagues scoring.
The New Delhi Subs have one reason to go to Hartford and that is so they can get the Honey Mustard trophy from the clutches of the Hartford Whalers. Week 2 of the 2012 IFFL Season they did just that and along the way won Defense of the Week, compiling 7 sacks and 4 interceptions along the way, leading to 14 points under the scoring guidelines.
Subs, Mexican'ts Announce Four Player Swap - Sept. 20
San Antonio, TX -- The New Delhi Subs and the San Antonio Mexican'ts are pleased to announce that the teams have finalized a trade. The Mexican'ts have agreed to send RB Darren McFadden and WR Julio Jones to the New Delhi Subs for RB Ben Jarvus Green Ellis and WR Pierre Garcon.
"I would like to thank Darren and Julio for the time and effort they put in making the Mexican'ts a first class organization," said Tanya Harless, owner of the San Antonio Mexican'ts.
The commissioners office is reviewing the trade.
Scarecrows, Ditkas Agree! Four Players Swap Teams - Sept. 20
Columbia, SC - The South Carolina Scarecrows and the Chicago Fightin’ Ditka’s have formally agreed to a trade. The Scarecrows have agreed to send WR’s Steve Smith and DeSean Jackson to Chicago in exchange for RB Reggie Bush and WR Santana Moss.
South Carolina owner Trevor Harless took to twitter early Tuesday morning to announce the trade, “We did it, We did it, We just got some Bush (Reggie Bush that is), my thanks to two tremendous athletes, Steve, DeSean your leadership will be truly missed, hopefully our paths will cross again.”
The commissioner’s office is reviewing the trade.
Matt Ryan Wins Week 1 Player of the Week Honors - Sept. 15
New Delhi, INDIA – Matt Ryan, quarterback of the New Delhi Subs, has earned IFFL Offensive player of the week honors for week 1 of the IFFL’s 2012 season. Ryan threw for 324 yards and 4 TD’s in the Subs victory over division foe South Carolina. “It was a great way to start the season,” he said. Matt finished his day with 25 points under the league scoring rules.
On the other side of the ball the Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls were led to a 53-28 win over defending division champion Chicago. The Balls got 3 sacks and a fumble recovery touchdown to go with a punt return for a TD to spark the win. The Balls defense finished with 16 points under the league scoring setup.
Pussies Pack Up and Move, FCC Speeds Decision - Sept. 1
NASHVILLE- In a shocking move today Nashville Pussies owner Kevin Ryburn called a spur of the moment press conference, the subject matter, relocation of his beloved Pussies to Indianapolis and taking on the moniker of Animals. Ryburn said that the team had been pressed into changing the team name by the FCC. “About 8 months ago, I got a call from the agency that they had received an increased number of complaints coming into the agency over the vulgarity and innuendo that the Pussies moniker stood for. After stating our position and some back and forth between the respective attorneys we came to an understanding that after the 2012 season a change would be made,” the distraught owner said. We had heard a rumor of a big announcement coming at the draft. This presumably was the subject of the chatter given as how Ryburn is now a family man and the lewd meaning of his team.
“Last week after the draft, we had our annual meeting with city officials who at the meeting informed us that they had been made aware of the previous FCC investigation. They had just gone to the FCC and asked for them to reopen the investigation. The FCC agreed and told the city that both the team and Nashville would be held responsible for the teams lewd conduct. City officials asked that the team change its name before the season and not wait until after,” he said.
Ryburn was so incensed by the fact his on fan base was against him that he informed the city that he would be out of town for a few days and when he returned they wouldn’t like what he was going to tell them. During those few days Ryburn was in Indianapolis, but no one thought anything about as he has friends and family there. During my trip to Indianapolis, I realized that I was done in Nashville and it hurt, as I truly love the metro area. I met with the mayor and governor on my last day in Indy and asked a simple question: do you want to be back in the game? They both answered overwhelmingly positive and I told them I’d see them in a week.”
So that’s how we got from Nashville to Indianapolis and the Pussies went to being the Animals. When called for comment the league had no comment other than to say it was aware of the situation from the beginning and had approved of Ryburn's actions the entire way.
Wildcard Week
- We hear that things did not go over very well in South Carolina when owner Trevor Harless found out that his wife’s Mexican’ts won their week 13 game and finished 6-7 to his Scarecrows 5-8. He was extremely pissed off and embarrassed.
- We hear that there were a ton of nerves in the owner’s boxes Sunday in South Carolina, on the home side was a chance to make the season respectable, on the visting side was a chance to make the playoffs and get a home playoff game.
- We’re hearing rumbles out of Hartford that the team will have something for the Subs that the Subs have never before seen for the Whalers, just exactly what that is no one knows, but this is a rematch of the semi final round of the playoffs last year in which the Whalers handled the Subs in New Delhi and the Subs have to remember that loss.
- We hear that Tequila officials are looking for a team to scrimmage this weekend under full game conditions, its no secret that one of the best teams in the league has never performed very well coming off the bye week in the playoffs, so the team is looking to change that by playing a scrimmage this weekend.
- We hear in Pittsburgh the city is euphoric with optimism that the PB Balls will play in the semi-final round of the playoffs this year. I guess no one has told the people of Pittsburgh that’s actually guaranteed since they received the #2 seed and a first round bye.
- In Salisbury we’re hearing that the team has regained focus and feels good about their chances to make a run to the championship.
Week 11
- We hear that the New Delhi Subs were so ecstatic that they were able to beat the Salisbury Snappers in week 10 that the team ordered in beef buffet, including hamburgers, steaks, and beef brisket. It’s unclear if the Indian Government is looking into the import.
- We hear that once again Maurice Jones Drew will be scratched from the Boise starting line up after suffering a setback in the teams Wednesday practice. That just means more offense from Drew Brees and the receivers.
- We hear Chicago RB Darren McFadden will not dress and is highly questionable for the week 12 game, some have wondered if he is in shut down mode now since the Ditka’s are out of playoff contention.
- We hear that San Antonio RB Fred Jackson’s season is over, sources tell us the concussion was a bad one and he will most likely miss the last 3 weeks of the regular season.
- We’re hearing the rumbling again as Butte RB Rashard Mendenhall should be in the lineup for the Pirates this week after missing like 9 games this season with knee and Achilles injuries.
- We hear that Wes Welker is probable for this week vs South Carolina. The Kats receiver will probably miss the entire week and still play but here’s hoping he doesn’t play.
- We hear Tequila WR Darrius Heyward Bey tweaked his hammy on Wednesday and is listed as probable for the huge division battle with the Boy Scouts.
Week 10
- We hear that despite all the efforts of the Boise team doctors, Maurice Jones Drew will not be available this week, the hopes are that he returns in week 11 or 12 in advance of the playoffs which the team is still in contention.
- We hear that DeMarco Murray is also going to be out in week 10, the Indy Animals are patiently waiting for Murray’s return so that they can show off their new backfield of LeSean McCoy, Murray, and Jonathan Stewart. The team feels that they should be one of the leagues premier rushing teams when everyone comes back healthy.
- We hear that owner Shadd Wright is completely serious when talking about his team being embarrassing. It's not something that owner Shadd Wright is very happy about, and he went so far as to call the Fightin’ Ditka’s performance "embarrassing" when speaking on his radio show on Monday night. "It's embarrassing, but there are better days ahead," Wright said. "I'm deeply grateful to the fans for supporting us. They've done their part. Now we have to do our part."
- We hear the reason that WR Calvin Johnson is dropping so many passes has to do with some nerve damage in both arms suffered in week 4, "Actually I had some nerve damage that was kind of messing up my grip a little," said Johnson. “So I'm going to blame that, and I think the concussion had something to do with that (nerve) damage."
- We hear Chicago WR Percy Harvin is very, very, very doubtful to play this week with a severely sprained ankle, he is out of the boot and walking very gingerly on the leg, I'm not sure he could run or cut, this may be a 2 week injury.
- We’re hearing Butte RB Rashard Mendenhall is once again a long shot to play this week with a strained Achilles tendon.
Week 9
- We hear that Calvin Johnson was almost traded from Butte for a case of shoe strings and 3 bottles of Pepsi Max, but at the last second the trade was rescinded, we’ve got to wonder if the shoe laces were for Daniel Thomas or assorted lengths.
- We hear Maurice Jones Drew will not be available for the week 9 game either the team is hoping for a miracle week 10 return after turning down multiple trades last week, to help them with their issues at running back.
- We hear Dwayne Bowe currently is unhappy with his situation in Tequila (written before the trade to South Carolina), will look to get moved before the trade deadline this week. His likely destination stands as somewhere that they only start 2 RB’s, so he can be a consistent starter.
- We hear that the theme of the South Carolina – Salisbury is run the ball, run the ball with 4 of the top 5 runners in the IFFL being featured in the game, now if only the game could be played on an arena league field.
- We hear that Johnathan Dwyer (quad) should be available to tote the rock this weekend for New Delhi.
- We hear that just before the trade that sent LeSean McCoy to Indy, the Subs were shot down and shot down hard in an attempt to get WR Calvin Johnson. Our source indicates to us that the teams offer for the disappointing WR was not anywhere in the neighborhood of what LP Couch would even consider.
- We hear that owner Chad Allen wasn’t quite as harsh to Jonathan Stewarts face as he was in the media, but it just goes to show you that if you don’t get on board with Lorelei and Rory that you have no chance to make it in Hartford.
- We hear that the deal to get Reggie Bush back in Chicago was really about one thing which was trying to right an earlier wrong in the windy city. Owner Shadd Wright had regretted from the day they traded Bush so when they had the chance to get him back they jumped on it, true it did cost Matt Forte in the end but they also netted Darren McFadden who if healthy is tremendously explosive.
Week 8
- We hear that the New Delhi front office is still looking for a premium on all players on their roster, our source tells us, “We suck but we don’t want anyone using our players to win or make a run at the title.”
- We hear from another source in New Delhi, that a change and look to the future might be possible, “We aren’t going to do a fire sale or anything drastic, but maybe just sign some street free agents and let them get some play in do some advance scouting for next year.”
- We hear that with Maurice Jones Drew missing anywhere from 2 to 6 games with a sprained arch in his foot, that Boise will go with more of a passing attack and let the right arm of Drew Brees win or lose games for them.
- We hear that an East Division powerhouse is looking for help at wide receiver and has been making calls as to the availability of some of the West’s more prominent talents at the position. Says our source, “Now is the time for a trade if we are going to make any noise in the postseason.”
- We hear that Tequila RB Trent Richardson is unlikely to miss any time, but the front office is still not ruling anything out. Trent is in a ton of pain but he is too proud to stand on the sidelines.
- We hear a number of teams are calling about Boise QB Drew Brees, Drew has been looking to get out of Boise for a number of years.
- We hear from our sources in Salisbury that the team is considering moving WR Larry Fitzgerald, “A change of scenery or whatnot might just do a body good.”
Week 7
- We hear that the New Delhi
Sucks Subs are in an internal battle over what to do with LeSean McCoy, there is a faction of front office staffers that think he just isn’t running with as much purpose as he did last year when he led the league with 20 td’s, while the other side, which includes owner Pete Shaunki, thinks McCoy will be the same player as soon as the offensive line shores itself up and starts opening holes.
- We hear Boise ownership is pursuing a new naming rights partner for Neverland Stadium, within the deal the stadiums name would be changed and people in the marketing office are already calling the stadium “the Blade”, the sponsor you ask, Swiss Army Knives parent company Victorinox. Were just not sure what took these two so long to get together.
- We hear that there are no real sellers at this point in time, everyone still feels in the thick of it and alive for a playoff berth.
- We hear Indy RB DeMarco Murray is out for week 7 but is hoping to be a go in week 8 after getting an Oklahoma tattoo on the bottom of his left foot.
- We hear Tequila RB Trent Richardson may miss the week 7 game against the Kats, but shouldn’t miss much more after a freak accident saw him attempt to remove his own ribs to throw on the smoker and BBQ them for dinner.
- We hear there may be another QB controversy in SA with Michael Vick attempting to replace the highly ineffective Matt Schaub, although sources tell us Schaub might get the week 7 start against the Snappers we will guarantee he won’t start in week 8. Please someone offer something for one of these QB’s and get this controversy over with.
- We hear Butte RB Rashard Mendenhall just irritated his Achilles last week, which ironically is the same thing that Mendenhall did to LP Couch... irritated him that he was unable to finish the game.
- We hear that after rushing for like 1,000 yards in the previous 2 weeks that New Whiteland RB Ahmad Bradshaw has injured his pesky foot that has bothered him for 3 years now, will most likely play in week 7, but in a limited role. (Editor’s Note: it wasn’t 1000 yards it was actually 335.)
- We hear that trade winds are definitely blowing in the west as two division rivals are trying to work out a semi blockbuster. It appears that Butte, has traded proposals with an unnamed west team on either a one for one deal or a two for two deal which would include some very big names, “If this thing were to go down it could change the landscape of the West for the rest of the year,” says our source.
Week 6
- Snappers WR Larry Fitzgerald didn’t mince words when asked about his team’s mistakes in their first loss of the season last Monday night. “How much time you got?” he said in the locker room after the 68-67 loss to the Whalers. “There were mistakes across the board. It wasn’t just one guy. It was a collective group effort. One guy messing up here, dropped ball here, missed assignment there. If you have a lot of those, offensively it’s going to stop a lot of drives, and that’s what happened. We weren’t able to sustain any good drives, and when we were able to get down there and put a couple of good plays together, we weren’t able to punch it in and obviously get in the (end) zone. That’s what we definitely need to work on.”
- We hear there is a faction within the New Whiteland front office that is voicing the opinion that QB Philip Rivers needs to be benched at the very least and at the worst that he should be traded. Rivers responded with one of his best games of the season though, throwing for 354 yards and 2 TD’s; and he should’ve had a 3rd TD but it was called back on holding.
- We hear Julio Jones is not happy in New Delhi as witnessed by his 3 drops deep on Sunday, says a Jones insider, “Julio is finding it hard to concentrate being this far from the states, and he really has a dislike for Indian cuisine, and night life, if you can call it nightlife.”
- We hear San Antonio linebacker Brian Cushing likely will miss the rest of the season with a torn ACL suffered in the “Domestic Violence Bowl VI presented by Buffalo Wild Wings,” when he was rolled up on by a South Carolina offensive lineman. A rival front office executive sent us this message this morning, “Sad to hear about Cushing’s ACL injury, couldn’t have happened to a more deserving player.”
- We hear that the hospitalization of South Carolina QB Cam Newton might force him to miss the week 6 contest against Taipei. Although the team won’t confirm the report, we have heard that Newton has actually contracted Syphilis and won’t be out of the hospital in time for the game.
- We hear that the Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls might be in the mood to make a deal. It’s been known for a few weeks that if the team was able to stay in contention that they may go out and try to get a high priced RB for the stretch run. Our sources are telling us that they are targeting Taipei’s trio of runners.
- What’s the deal with Brandon Pettigrew missing last week’s Butte victory? We hear that he may have an injury that the team is trying to keep under wraps. Sources within the team have been giving us everything from a back strain to a sprained MCL, so right now we can report that he’s injured but were not sure how bad.
Week 5
- We hear Chicago WR Greg Jennings has decided not to push the groin injury that he suffered in week 1, “I'm not healthy enough to go right now,” he said which can be translated to ‘I'm in a contract season so I'm being selfish.’
- We hear that there is more than meets the eye in Tequila, WR Hakeem Nicks it seems was scratched for his problematic foot last week or was he? Sources confirm that Nicks actually has a knee injury that is much more concerning than the foot. Said the source, “Ownership has been made aware of the issue.” Those are some big steps for a nothing foot issue.
- We hear that Tequila might also have an issue with Adrian Peterson, it has been 3 weeks since Peterson has visited the end zone, and all is not rosy with that situation, even though the team is 4-0 on the season. Its been intimated to us that if the situation were right there could be a deal to be made. Our source has informed us that owner Jeff Dixon has been in meetings concerning Peterson for the last 2 weeks and was overheard shouting, “How much concern can I show you, just tell me that?”
- We hear that in advance of this weeks showdown with husband Trevor Harless, that Tanya Harless is once again looking to make a huge move, this time we hear it may just involve RB Frank Gore who the impeccable source inside SA tells us could be gotten for a sweetheart deal.
- We hear that Eli Manning has started to get some pressure from the coaching staff to find some consistency, Manning who has had scoring weeks of 6, 42, 6, 13 needs to smooth out those waves and consistently get around 20 for the Ditka’s. Despite the peaks and valleys Chicago is 2-2 and in the thick of the IFFL Central.
- We hear that the offices of the Taipei Personality are very loud this week as only one of the big 3 running backs has found the end zone this season. Any guesses as to who it is, CJ? no; SJ? no; JC, not that JC but Jamaal Charles is the only RB on the Personality roster that has remembered that he is trying to get to the end zone, and he’s done it once.
- We hear that Butte RB Rashard Mendenhall has been given the green light to play in the teams game this week against Chicago in Butte, it will be the first time Mendenhall has been in the lineup for Butte after being injured in the divisional playoff round last year.
- We’re hearing from sources that SA owner is trying everything possible to win the Domestic Violence Bowl brought to you by Buffalo Wild Wings, including renting players from other teams, and going so far as to offering sexual favors if South Carolina doesn’t play its star(s).
Week 4
- We’re hearing that a pair of RB’s injured in the same game may not miss much time if any time at all. Reggie Bush (South Carolina) injured his knee in the 3rd quarter of the game against Hartford Monday evening, and CJ Spiller (Hartford) suffered a shoulder injury in the second quarter. Both should be able to get back this week, and if not this week then the next.
- We hear that Taipei QB Matt Stafford may not be as lucky needing 2-to-4 weeks to heal after pulling a hamstring in the first quarter of the win against New Delhi last week.
- File this in the "good but also bad" news file. We hear that RB Jamaal Charles ,who is just 12 months removed from ACL surgery, is finally running without thinking about his knee and without the knee swelling up after games or strenuous practices. Charles ripped off 288 yards against New Delhi, and on his 91 yard run looked at Clay Matthews going by him and said “See ya.” The only problem is it looks like he still needs a map to find the end zone.
- We hear that when San Antonio owner Tanya Harless told her football people about the trade one of them asked why would we be dumb enough to make that trade? To which, Mrs. Harless replied “because I can’t wait to dump his ass after that pussy move of pulling himself out of the game because he got a pinky finger in the eye.” Those are pretty stiff words coming from an owner looking to make the playoffs for the first time.
- We hear that San Antonio might be looking to make more changes after last week’s trade with New Delhi. It seems as though this week QB is under the microscope of Tanya “Quick Draw” Harless, "We can't continue down this road of waiting for the old Michael Vick to return while the team suffers losses. It is time to light a fire under the team's collective ass and inject some life into our offense and I believe that Matt Schaub can do that.” So it looks as though we have a full-fledged QB controversy brewing in San Antonio right now.
- We hear that the plan going around the coach’s office in Chicago is for RB Matt Forte to suit up and play in the week 4 battle against the Mexican’ts. Its only 2 weeks since his ankle sprain and he has always been a quick healer, but this is ridiculous.
- We’re hearing from sources in Salisbury that the team is convinced that they can continue on and remain undefeated for the entire season, “It’s a long shot, but I think we have all the pieces to do it. The worst thing is if we suffer an injury to, well honestly anyone” says the source.
Week 3
- We’re hearing Hartford TE Aaron Hernandez is expected to miss 4-8 weeks with a high ankle sprain suffered in the 1st quarter in of the big Honey Mustard battle. This reporter is wondering if C.J. Spiller will have to fill in for Hernandez at TE as well.
- We’re starting to hear rumblings coming out of Salisbury that the 2 game administrative suspension that Mikel Leshoure just served was for bringing contraband into the locker room. It's not confirmed, but the source claims it was a 6” Scarecrow figurine that he picked up at a game last season. I guess this rivalry is going to stay warm.
- We’re getting early word that the trade winds are starting to blow around the league; sources claim that Reggie Bush is the apple of one team’s eye. When asked if this was a smart move a rival executive told me earlier “Is this a smart move on a sell high note for owner Shadd Wright or a big whiff at "Wrighting" his team with all his issues at the position. No its not smart, but if he can get good value for Bush, he’s going to have to strike while the iron is hot and I don’t think it will be hotter this season.” We’ll see just what the Ditka’s have up their sleeves.
- We hear that Michael Turner, who was arrested on Tuesday morning for DUI and speeding charges, is in the process of apologizing to the team and fans. The Scarecrows issued the following press release about the incident, "We are aware of the situation and gathering more information." Translation: "We're pissed."
- Staying with the Turner conversation, the new up tempo offense is not a good fit for the 30 year old runner who looks like he is running in sand and not on one of the fastest tracks in the IFFL. Last week against Salisbury, Turner carried the ball 17 times for 42 yards... a paltry 2.47 average.
- Word leaking out of Chicago is that RB Matt Forte did not suffer a high ankle sprain as had earlier been reported. Says Shadd Wright, “It’s just a normal run of the mill ankle sprain, it was confirmed via MRI and he should be back in a couple of weeks.”
- Salisbury WR Larry Fitzgerald will try on another hat as he has come to an agreement to conduct the Phoenix Symphony. "I've been watching YouTube videos of conductors late into the night to see what they actually do. I don't want to make a fool of myself," Fitzgerald said.
- We hear that an east coast team has made inquiries to a west coast team about a trade. The source tells us, “it’s about making both teams better the owners and executives are in the early stages of negotiating”
- We’re hearing that RB Darren McFadden will continue to wear the visor the league approved him to wear after being poked in the eye early in the game against Tequila; however it’s not true that the visor will have to pink.
Week 2
- Tequila officials got more than they could’ve hoped for Sunday night against Boise. It’s still a long season in the desert but Manning (253 yards and 2 TD’s) appears to be healthy. Manning might not be the Manning of eight seasons ago, but after this performance don't expect him to falter either. One of the great comeback seasons ever appears on tap in Tequila.
- Staying in Tequila we’re hearing that Adrian Peterson has sounded off against fans and front office executives, yelling in the ticket sales offices “I’m back and I’m better than ever.” Somewhere in the southwest is an orthopedic surgeon laughing his way to the bank repeating, “We have the technology, he can rebuild him.” Meanwhile, Boise officials have filed a complaint with the league office about abuse of the injury report. “There is no way he tore an ACL in week 13 last year and made those cuts on my defense today,” ranted Boise owner Josh Prine.
- We’re hearing that the league office is looking into the math skills of the officiating crew in the Boise-Tequila game Sunday. Late in the second quarter Peyton Manning threw an incomplete pass to A.J. Green in the end zone. Green was shaken up and a timeout should’ve been assessed, their 3rd of the half, but it wasn’t . With 25 seconds left before half time Manning took the fourth Tequila timeout of the half which should have been a penalty and loss of 15 seconds from the game clock. We talked to our source in the league office who told us, “I’d be surprised if the official didn’t have a week or two of, and have a huge fine to pay.”
- New Delhi WR Pierre Garcon (109 yds, TD) who was injured on the last play of the 1st quarter, showed no damage to his foot on the x-rays. It was widely thought that he would come back on an ensuing possession, but he never did. At halftime the team told the media he would miss the rest of the game with a sprained foot. Said one team official, “Poor babies footsie hurt too much to go play for his pay.” We figure he thought he’d already played a full game after that busy 1st quarter.
- In Pittsburgh, RB Rashard Jennings tweaked his left knee sometime in the first half, but stayed in the game. At halftime Jennings was reevaluated and was sat down by the training staff. It’s not too serious, but he did vow revenge on the Balls in Taipei this week.
- Coming out of Hartford in advance of the big Honey Mustard battle is this. Kenny Britt-(le) should be available for up to 25 plays this week coming off suspension/knee injury. Says one rival executive, “Honey mustard this, Honey Mustard that, I’ve stopped eating Honey Mustard because of this rivalry.
- The battle between South Carolina and Salisbury hits a fever pitch this week, with South Carolina last week having its lowest scoring day in 5 seasons. Owner Trevor Harless was overheard in his suite yesterday saying, "I don’t understand... I have a QB with a laser rocket arm..."
- In San Antonio Monday the Mexican’ts host Tequila. These two are settling into their normal places in the division with Tequila attempting to control the top and San Antonio bottom feeding, which is exactly the opposite of what we predicted for this season. We just keep telling ourselves its still early.
Week 1
- Upon hearing that he will be starting for the defending West Division Champions, Butte RB Daniel Thomas (looking like a kid in the principal's office), said two words the entire meeting, "yes" and "sir." He also had his shoelaces untied. Doesn't Thomas know he's dealing with the self-proclaimed Shoelace Nazi? Les Paul Couch will have some discipline to hand out soon if Thomas doesn't shape up.
- San Antonio owner Tanya Harless has set her team up for success this season. That much is clear, but we keep hearing whispers that another shake up from outside the organization could be on the horizon. We'll have to wait and see if anything happens.
- Sources are telling us that the decision to cut WR Deion Branch came solely from the office of owner Tabbi Brewer. Apparently she has been telling anyone who will listen that she is concerned about his inability to stay healthy this offseason.
- In New Delhi, ownership is furious. Apparently at the draft, team officials were saying "thank you Hilton staffers," not that they wanted to draft the diminutive WR T.Y. Hilton.
- Out of Hartford we're hearing the shocking story of how C.J. Spiller was able to keep himself on the team. Apparently, Spiller made a late night stop by owner Chad Allen's apartment in July and presented him with a full series set of the Gilmore Girls. Right then and there Mr. Allen realized that C.J. was "his kind of hombre."
- Word around the South Carolina war room is that they were handing out T-shirts to the players when they arrived at the facility. The shirts read "DVB VI", which translates to Domestic Violence Bowl 6, the annual meeting between the Scarecrows and Mexican'ts, husband vs. wife, where black eyes and bloody noses are just the start.
- In Boise, QB Drew Brees seems to be getting frustrated with ownership there. Brees was quoted as asking what pile of steaming hot poo the found RB Ryan Torain hiding beneath. I guess that means he doesn't feel like he will help the team this year.
- In New Whiteland, the team had to make a hard decision and release Terrell Owens. "While Terrell is 38 he played this summer with the energy of a 28 year old, but unlike Penn State at least he wasn't playing with a seven year old," owner Kevin Julbert was quoted as saying.
- We keep hearing that there will be a major news announcement made from Nashville. The press conference is scheduled for September 3rd.
Wildcard Week
- I think the surprise team of the year is the Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls. Led by rookie of the year candidates QB Andrew Luck and RB Doug Martin this Balls team has found a good balance.
- I think I can’t wait for the Honey Mustard Incident Part III this weekend in New Delhi, we are looking for a shootout. With the Subs winning the 2 regular season meetings will they come in over confident or will they take game #3 as well.
- I think Tequila is going to have a hard road to title #5.
- I think, this is how I will fill out my power rankings after week 13,
- Tequila Sunrise (11-2)
- Pittsburgh PB Balls (9-4)
- Salisbury Snappers (8-5)
- New Delhi Subs (8-5)
- Hartford Whalers (7-6)
- Taipei Personality (7-6)
- I think this is who I’d vote for, for MVP QB Peyton Manning; Offensive MVP RB Arian Foster
- I think Defense of the Year is Taipei Personality; and Most disappointing player Cam Newton, Most Surprising Robert Griffin III.
- I think for the Rookie of the year award I’d give my vote to QB Andrew Luck; GM of the Year Matthew Howell of Pittsburgh.
Week 11
- I think the Salisbury Snappers need to get their heads screwed on straight and get back to the strong running football that everyone predicted for them in August.
- I think the number one seed in the playoffs is well in the hands of MVP candidate Peyton Manning, and the Tequila Sunrise, all roads lead thru NM.
- I think this is the best weekend of football in a long time Tequila v Boise, Pittsburgh v Indianapolis, Salisbury v Hartford, New Delhi v Taipei all being key playoff matchups.
- I think, this is how I will fill out my power rankings after week 10,
- Tequila Sunrise (9-1)
- Pittsburgh PB Balls (7-3)
- Indianapolis Animals (6-4)
- Boise Boy Scouts (6-4)
- Taipei Personality (6-4)
- New Delhi Subs(6-4)
- I think the New Delhi v Taipei battle royale is the weekend’s best game as both teams are among the healthiest in the league.
- I think Pittsburgh had better be careful, Indy is almost full strength with Aaron Rodgers coming back this week after missing the game against Tequila last week, now the Animals are looking for blood.
- I think this is a sad time for Chicago, San Antonio, Butte and Tabbi’s for being eliminated from playoff contention. Now those teams are dangerous playing the spoiler role.
Week 10
- I think the game between Tequila and Indy is going to be one hell of a contest, not only does this reek of a playoff preview, this will go a long way in playoff seeding.
- I think it’s a miracle, and also not the teams I would have guessed, that the East has 3 teams in the playoffs right now with Salisbury, Taipei, and New Delhi (who leads Boise by 15 points).
- I think as one executive pointed out, this is the most interesting and competitive that the Central has been in a long, long time.
- I think, this is how I will fill out my power rankings after week 9,
- Tequila Sunrise (8-1)
- Indianapolis Animals (6-3)
- Pittsburgh PB Balls (6-3)
- Salisbury Snappers (6-3)
- Boise Boy Scouts(5-4)
- Taipei Personality (5-4)
- I think Boise needs to get Maurice Jones Drew back in the lineup ASAP as the team needs some sort of running game to go with the Drew Brees passing game.
- I think the PB Balls need their defense to step up and play at the highest level possible, and who would’ve thought they would still be this good without Derrelle Revis
- I think, while disappointing, this season is positioning the Chicago Fightin’ Ditka’s to make the big rebound next season, they must be salivating at the chance to draft with the number 1 overall selection.
Week 9
- I think the Scarecrows are taking a big risk messing with the team chemistry, by making all these trades, but when your desperate you have to try something.
- I think the Animals have made the best trades, getting LeSean McCoy and Jonathan Stewart for basically peanuts shows how disappointing they’ve both been. Now they have all three pieces in place to make multiple runs at the championship.
- I think the teams that were trying to get Drew Brees at the deadline, were crazy to think that Boise would have parted with the QB even though some of the offers would’ve set the team up nicely for the future.
- I think, this is how I will fill out my power rankings after week 8,
- Indy Animals (6-2)
- Tequila Sunrise (7-1)
- Pittsburgh PB Balls (5-3)
- Salisbury Snappers (5-3)
- Hartford Whalers (4-4)
- Boise Boy Scouts (4-4)
- I think after the first half I'm wavering on my pick in the IFFL Super Bowl so I'm going to change, I'm going to take the Indy Animals for the upset and take the title.
- I think the 2nd quarter Offensive player and 1st half MVP awards go to the same guy that got it the first time QB Peyton Manning, Tequila, take away the first quarter of the 2nd game of the season and the guy has been unbelievable.
- I think the 2nd quarter Defensive award goes to the Salisbury Snappers now if they can just get the offense back on track they could return to the top.
Week 8
- I think we are just a week away from fire sales in the East, Central, and West by the cellar dwellers, this could make for an interesting trade deadline.
- I think SA needs to play with that kind of passion each week and they will be alright and may have a chance at stealing a wild card at the end of the season.
- I think the Kats are amazing getting off to a terrible 1-3 start and then coming back and getting 2 wins one a major blow out and the other against the best team in the league just amazing.
- I think, this is how I will fill out my power rankings after week 7,
- Indy Animals (5-2)
- Tequila Sunrise (6-1)
- Salisbury Snappers (5-2)
- Boise Boy Scouts (4-3)
- South Carolina Scarecrows (4-3)
- Tabbi’s Kats (3-4)
- I think Chicago WR Greg Jennings is done for the season, Jennings is going to see a specialist for his ailing groin muscle, and he might miss games through week 10.
- I think knowing New Delhi owner Pete Shaunki, his patience has to be running out with, RB LeSean McCoy and his arrival on the teams trade block could come soon, if his play doesn’t improve.
- I think the Butte Pirates have to be kicking themselves, and have to be really angry at EA Sports for putting WR Calvin Johnson on the cover of the newest IFFL video game, they have to believe loud and clear there is a cover jinx
Week 7
- I think the Tequila Sunrise and the San Antonio Mexican’ts should’ve made the proposed trade at the draft. The trade, if you have forgotten, was Peyton Manning for Darren McFadden. I know that Tequila wouldn’t be 6-0 right now and SA probably wouldn’t be 1-5.
- I think Andrew Luck needed one more week off because of his persistent knee injury, and it showed last week vs the Sunrise who were able to finally hold him in check.
- I think New Delhi needs to figure out the run game pretty darn quick because heads will roll if the team hits 5 straight losses. LeSean McCoy seems to be a shell of his former self especially when his former self was a 20 TD scorer.
- I think, this is how I will fill out my power rankings after week 6,
- Tequila Sunrise (6-0)
- Salisbury Snappers (5-1)
- Indy Animals (4-2)
- Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls (4-2)
- Hartford Whalers (3-3)
- Boise Boy Scouts (3-3)
- I think the Kats should be thanking their lucky stars that Shonn Greene was able to run wild on the Subs D to the tune of 161 yards and 3 TD’s. “I really doubt that will happen again this season,” said Tequila owner Jeff Dixon.
- I think the Central Division is far from over and any of the 5 teams could come out on top at the end of the season.
- I think the Salisbury Snappers need to be showing some concern over the Amish Rifle and his lack of scoring in the last 2 weeks, Fitzpatrick has been shut out in both week 5, and 6 but has rebound type potential this week against the San Antonio defense.
Week 6
- I think the league better wake up to this group of Peanut Butter Balls, one thing that keeps being echoed throughout the locker room is the fact that these aren’t your fathers Peanut Butter Balls.
- I think that RB Rashard Mendenhall coming back after ACL surgery in February, and starting and playing as well as he did in week 5, is somewhat of a miracle… especially since he has never been known for toughness.
- I think, while not being the end of the world as they know it, the loss of RB Ryan Williams will definitely hurt the depth of the Salisbury Snappers.
- I think, this is how I will fill out my power rankings after week 5,
- Tequila Sunrise (5-0)
- Salisbury Snappers (4-1)
- Pittsburgh PB Balls (4-1)
- Boise Boy Scouts (3-2)
- Indy Animals (3-2)
- Taipei Personality (3-2)
- I think the loss of Cedric Benson to a lisfranc foot fracture is devastating to Chicago, as the injury will leave Matt Forte as the only healthy running back on the roster which might force the team to make a deal.
- I think the perfect trading partner with Chicago, if they decide to go that way, could be Tequila and their depth at the position.
- I think the fact that Sham Newton couldn’t throw a passing TD against the San Antonio Mexican’ts, says a lot about his desire to win or lack thereof. That is the one game that if you are a member of either team you want to perform your best for the owner.
Week 5
- I think after this week’s performance Tony Romo better be worried about his job security after throwing 5 interceptions v South Carolina, “He’s starting to make plays like Jay Cutler,” anonymous.
- I think Taipei’s defense needs to be tested for some kind of performance enhancing substance, either that or they have just figured out how to play pure team defense.
- I think I like San Antonio this week in the ‘Domestic Violence Bowl” brought to you by Buffalo Wild Wings Monday night. The team is desperate and always performs well in this game.
- I think, this is how I will fill out my power rankings after week 4,
- Tequila Sunrise (4-0)
- Salisbury Snappers (3-1)
- Indy Animals (3-1)
- Pittsburgh PB Balls (3-1)
- Hartford Whalers (2-2)
- Chicago Fightin’ Ditka’s (2-2)
- I think the IFFL East is by far the league’s best division with all teams separated by one game headed into this week’s action. One executive said “It’s as crowded as the lower decks on the Titanic after they hit the iceberg.”
- I think the offensive player of the month is Tequila QB Peyton Manning, he missed an entire season and all he’s done this year is lead his team to a 4-0 record, enuff said
- I think the defense of the month is without a question is the Taipei Personality, two straight weekly award wins and two straight wins.
Week 4
- I think that without some help from the referee’s I'm sure the South Carolina Scarecrows would be 0-3, not 1-2, and questioning whether or not they would be able to win a game that didn’t end in such controversial fashion.
- I think San Antonio RB Fred Jackson is a super stud, coming back from an MCL injury in 2 weeks. Jackson said “Ive been seeing a Chinese accupucnture therapist for the past 2 weeks, 5 times a week. I'm a believer!”
- I think the loss of Darrelle Revis to the Pittsburgh defense is devastating. Owner Matt Howell could be overheard screaming “My Balls! My Balls!”
- I think rookie QB Andrew Luck was well worth the 2nd selection in the 2012 IFFL draft, he has almost single handedly changed the fate of the Peanut Butter Balls.
- I think, this is how I will fill out my power rankings after week 3: 1) Salisbury Snappers 2) Tequila Sunrise 3) Pittburgh Peanut Butter Balls 4) New Delhi Subs 5) Boise Boy Scouts 6) Indy Animals
- I think Cam Newton is way oversensitive when it comes to the reports of him going to a mind coach, aka a sports psychologist, a ton of crazy great athletes have seen shrinks.
- I think the Salisbury Snappers are on a mission to 3-peat this year. With Indy in town last weekend and it being the home opener, the Snappers put up 88 on the previously undefeated Animals.
Week 3
- I think someone in the Taipei organization needs to light a fire under Chris Johnson, Steven Jackson and Jamaal Charles’ collective asses and get them back running like they did in seasons past.
- I think it’s about to get really sick in Salisbury, the team is getting ready to get RB’s Mikel LeShoure (suspension) and Ryan Mathews (injury) back. If this isn’t just a case of the rich continuing to get richer I'm not sure what is. I really wish the team would disclose what the LeShoure suspension was about.
- I think that with Boise getting to 73 while not having its head coach is something of an amazing feat this week. “It just goes to show that even though we have an interim head coach, that Drew Brees is really running this show,” said owner Josh Prine.
- I think Tom Brady has to be furious after Aaron Hernandez’s injury at the hands of Casey Matthews early in the 1st quarter Monday night. “Matthews has had it out for Aaron since he found out he was behind Aaron and me in the annual IFFL sexiest player poll," stated Brady.
- I think, this is how I will fill out my power rankings after week 2: 1) Salisbury Snappers 2) New Delhi Subs 3) Tequila Sunrise 4) Indy Animals 5) Boise Boy Scouts 6) Butte Pirates
- I think I might’ve been wrong to put so much faith in South Carolina and San Antonio to get to the playoffs and win some games. South Carolina especially needs to make some changes.
- I think Eli Manning reads this column, 510 yards passing, I’m pretty sure he will win player of the week.
Week 2
- I think and I know it’s still early but if Eli Manning continues to put up performances like the one he had this week, Chicago may be in trouble. Manning who was a respectable 21/32 for 213 and a touchdown has to be better in the red zone, he left 3 opportunities to die in the red zone.
- I think, if Fred Jackson’s injury is significant then San Antonio might be scrambling around and looking to make a move either via free agency or in the trade market.
- I think Jeremy Maclin’s hip injury might just be a dagger to the thick skin of this Pittsburgh team. Maclin, who has the most experience in the group cannot afford to miss a ton of time.
- I think, we may need a strait jacket for San Antonio owner Tanya Harless, who was in full meltdown mode Sunday in the 4th quarter of her teams game. She stated “See what happens! Without all the d*mn penalties and turnovers we go 91 freaking yards for a touchdown! Stupid officials wear me out. Now where did I put my cigarettes?”
- I think, this is how I will fill out my power rankings after the first week: 1) Salisbury Snappers 2) Hartford Whalers 3) Butte Pirates 4) New Delhi Subs 5) Tequila Sunrise 6) Indy Animals
- I think Pittsburgh has to really play it safe with CB Darrelle Revis' concussion. It will more than likely be a game time decision on whether or not he plays.
- I think Boise QB Drew Brees, after ripping hold out Maurice Jones Drew, did very good last week making sure that the volatile runner was happy. "I decided in the 1st quarter we would make sure he ate his Wheaties and ran on a daily basis."
Week 1
- I think two time defending Super Bowl champion Salisbury sits waiting for the weekly challenge of staying on top. The team has not won the division in four years and they are hungry to reclaim the crown.
- I think Hartford reigns supreme in the East, wins the division and, as the top seed in all the playoffs, gets a wild card round bye. Salisbury and South Carolina grab the wild cards while New Delhi and Taipei battle for respect.
- I think the Central pans out this way. Tabbi’s and Chicago go toe to toe all season long and Tabbi's gets the week 13 win to claim the division while Chicago loses out on a tie break for the last wild card spot. Indy and Pittsburgh make huge strides, but in the end just don’t have enough mustard to make any ground up on the class of the division. New Whiteland just sits in the middle of the division watching everything unfold.
- Once again I think the West is the most unpredictable division of them all, as all four teams fight for the division and the final playoff bye. San Antonio finally makes the playoffs by winning the west while Butte, Tequila and Boise finish in a dead heat at 7-6, with Butte securing the final wild card spot.
- I think that Hartford and San Antonio clinch the byes and In another heartbreaker, Butte falls to Tabbis. On the other side South Carolina storms out to a quick lead but is finally just ran over by the trio of Salisbury runners.
- I think on championship Sunday we will have a rematch from last seasons title game as Salisbury gets past the Whaler; and its going to be DVB VII and a rematch from week 5 as South Carolina shows San Antonio why its so difficult to win in the playoffs and makes the Super Bowl.
- The Super Bowl is a super rematch of what is normally a very competitive series in the East, Salisbury and South Carolina. The three titles of Jason Beaver versus the two of Trevor Harless and in the end we’ll all just have to wait and see how the dominos fall.
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