1
2
3
4
F
  Animals
33
0
15
8
56
  Peanut Butter Balls
7
14
19
0
40

"A Recipe for Disaster" – Indy Serves Up the Points, Pittsburgh Adds the Fumble

In a game that felt more like a backyard brawl than a professional fantasy football matchup, the Indy Animals clawed their way to a 56-40 victory over the Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls. Fueled by a chaotic mix of touchdowns, fumbles, and one surprisingly effective kicker, Indy took control early and never looked back – mostly because Pittsburgh’s defense didn’t seem to mind letting them run right past.

Quarterback Jayden Daniels led the charge with 244 yards and two touchdowns, putting on a show for anyone who dared doubt his scoring potential. “They said I couldn’t pass,” Daniels commented with a smirk. “Turns out, they’re wrong. Twice, actually.” Meanwhile, Chase Brown and Jahmyr Gibbs were practically dancing into the end zone, each racking up rushing touchdowns that made Pittsburgh’s defense look like they’d skipped leg day.

Garrett Wilson had himself a field day, catching two touchdown passes and racking up 90 yards. “They told me I’d get double coverage,” he chuckled, “but I guess Pittsburgh was just kidding.” Cooper Kupp, not wanting to be outdone, quietly put up 104 yards, mostly because Pittsburgh forgot he was on the field.

Lamar Jackson did his best to keep things interesting for Pittsburgh, tossing three touchdowns and putting up 284 yards. “I was doing everything I could,” Jackson sighed. “But apparently, my team’s defensive strategy is ‘let’s just see what happens.’” Joe Mixon and Rico Dowdle each chipped in with rushing touchdowns, but it was a case of too little, too late.

While James Conner managed 119 yards without actually scoring, Diontae Johnson seemed to forget he was playing in a game at all, recording a grand total of zero catches. “Diontae was just taking it easy,” Pittsburgh owner Matt Howell admitted. “He didn’t want to overexert himself, I guess.”

Indy owner Q said it best, "We came, we scored, we conquered – mostly because Pittsburgh forgot the basics of defense.” Meanwhile, Pittsburgh’s sideline was dead silent, with owner Matt Howell still staring at his team’s stats in disbelief. “Next week,” he finally muttered, “we’re going to try this thing called tackling.”

For now, the Animals walk away with a well-deserved win, and the Peanut Butter Balls are left wondering if maybe, just maybe, they should consider learning a bit about defense.

Indy Animals
Pos.
Player
Stats
Points
QB
Jayden Daniels 244 yds, 2 TD's 12
RB
Jahmyr Gibbs 76 yds, TD 6
RB
Chase Brown 157 yds, TD 9
WR
Garrett Wilson 90 yds, 2 TD's 12
WR
Cooper Kupp 104 yds 1
WR
Marvin Harrison jr. 34 yds  
TE
Brock Bowers 45 yds, TD 6
K
Austin Seibert 2 FG's, 3 xp's 9
DEF
Green Bay Packers 261yd, s 1
 
Total:
56
 
Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls
Pos.
Player
Stats
Points
QB
Lamar Jackson 284 yds, 3 TD's 18
RB
Joe Mixon 106 yds, TD 7
RB
Rico Dowdle 107 yds, TD 7
RB
James Conner 119 yds 1
WR
D.J. Moore 33 yds  
WR
Diontae Johnson 0 yds  
TE
Noah Fant 0 yds  
K
Brandon Aubrey 2 FG's, xp 7
DEF
Pittsburgh Steelers dnp  
 
Total:
40