1
2
3
4
F
  Subs
15
16
0
0
31
  Peanut Butter Balls
33
5
13
6
57

Extra Crunchy Incident? Pittsburgh Beats the Spread Against New Delhi

In a game that felt more like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with extra crunch, the Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls took a big bite out of the New Delhi Subs, winning 57-31. The hero of the day, Lamar Jackson, was unstoppable, racking up 323 yards, four touchdowns, and even throwing in a 2-point conversion for good measure. Lamar’s take? “I felt like a kid in a candy store, except the candy was touchdowns, and the store was New Delhi’s defense.”

New Delhi’s Brock Purdy threw for an impressive 370 yards and two touchdowns, trying to keep pace with Jackson, but his efforts were more “chasing the bus” than “leading the charge.” WR Courtland Sutton managed to grab one of those touchdowns, but the Subs’ running backs were on a lunch break, with Kyren Williams and Rhamondre Stevenson combining for a grand total of…zero points. Apparently, "running" was just an optional part of their job description this week.

For Pittsburgh, Joe Mixon and James Conner provided steady support with a touchdown each, showing that Pittsburgh’s ground game wasn’t just for show. George Kittle added a touchdown as well, because why not? It was a team effort that made New Delhi look like they were still struggling with the concept of “defense.”

New Delhi’s kicker, Harrison Butker, was arguably their MVP, managing three field goals and an extra point for 10 points. The subs might want to consider letting him take some snaps on offense at this rate.

With the win, Pittsburgh continues to rise, proving they’re a team with more than just peanut butter in the tank. For New Delhi, it’s back to the drawing board—or maybe just the grocery store, because these Subs need a serious makeover.

New Delhi Subs
Pos.
Player
Stats
Points
QB
Brock Purdy 370 yds, 2 TD's 15
RB
Kyren Williams 82 yds  
RB
Rhamondre Stevenson 77 yds  
WR
DaVonta Smith 14 yds  
WR
Courtland Sutton 70 yds, TD 6
TE
Mike Gesicki 30 yds  
TE
Jonnu Smith 45 yds  
K
Harrison Butker 3 FG's, xp 10
DEF
Atlanta Falcons 365yd  
 
Total:
31
 
Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls
Pos.
Player
Stats
Points
QB
Lamar Jackson 323 yds, 4 TD's, 2pc 27
RB
Joe Mixon 90 yds, TD 6
RB
James Conner 113 yds, TD 7
WR
D.J. Moore 27 yds  
WR
Amari Cooper dnp  
WR
Josh Palmer 0 yds  
TE
George Kittle 57 yds, TD 6
K
Brandon Aubrey 2 FG's 6
DEF
Pittsburgh Steelers 242yd, 3s, f, <250yd 5
 
Total:
57