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Nov. 27, 2024

They say the IFFL season is a marathon, not a sprint—but for some teams, it looks more like they’ve been crawling through quicksand. We’ve hit the home stretch, and as playoff hopes heat up, a few teams are sweating bullets while others are sitting pretty.

Now, without further ado, let’s dive into this week’s Power Rankings:

  1. Philadelphia Dark Side (9-3)
    Clinched the East and have been marching through their competition like they’re auditioning for The Mandalorian.

  2. Indy Animals (9-3)
    Jayden Daniels looks like the rookie whisperer’s dream. Can they finish their worst-to-first story in the Central?

  3. Tequila Sunrise (9-3)
    Patrick Mahomes keeps sipping victory margaritas while the rest of the IFFL wonders if they’ll ever hit a slump.

  4. Tabbi’s Kats (8-4)
    Tough loss to Los Angeles, but they remain a Central power with claws sharp enough to challenge anyone.

  5. San Antonio Mexican’ts (7-5)
    Quietly putting together their best season ever. Playoff football feels within reach if they can avoid tripping over themselves.

  6. Taipei Personality (6-6)
    Saquon Barkley dragged them kicking and screaming into contention. Let’s see if they can stay alive.

  7. Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls (6-6)
    Still alive, still dangerous. The PB Balls  have a flair for high scoring affairs, but do they have enough talent to pull off a championship run?

Players of the Week

    • Offensive Player of the Week:
      Saquon Barkley (Taipei Personality)
      302 yards and 2 TDs? Saquon turned Week 12 into his personal highlight reel.

    • Defensive Player of the Week:
      Los Angeles Lords Defense
      This unit was lights-out against Tabbi’s, holding their offense in check and snagging critical sacks when it mattered most.

    • Kicker of the Week:
      Cameron Dicker (San Antonio Mexican’ts)
      With 11 points, Dicker the Kicker carried San Antonio to a vital win. Who says kickers don’t matter?

Look Back: Week 12 Game of the Week

Tabbi’s Kats 26, Los Angeles Lords 27

Mark Andrews delivered a dramatic late-game touchdown to seal the win for the Lords. Drake Maye had a solid showing, while Tabbi’s felt the sting of a game slipping through their claws. “We needed that one,” said Jason Beaver, Los Angeles owner. “They don’t call us the Lords for nothing—we own crunch time.”

Tabbi’s Owner Tabbi Brewer was less amused: “I hope Beaver chokes on his next Waffle House order.”

Look Ahead: Week 13 Game of the Week

San Antonio Mexican’ts (7-5) vs. Cincinnati Bagels (6-6)

This matchup screams playoff football, with both teams fighting to keep their postseason dreams alive. A loss for either could spell disaster. Will Cameron Dicker’s leg propel San Antonio to another win, or will Cincinnati’s star-studded offense find the spark they need?

Prediction: San Antonio 28, Cincinnati 27 (on a last-second Dicker field goal, naturally).


Nov. 24, 2024

Welcome to another edition of The Endowed 7, where the standings are hot, and the players…well, some are definitely lukewarm. This week’s edition features an offensive explosion, defenses that might need a pep talk. Now, on to the Power Rankings.

The Endowed 7

  1. Tequila Sunrise (9-2):
    The Sunrise keep blazing through opponents with Patrick Mahomes and their high-octane offense. Clinching the West is just a matter of time.

  2. Tabbi's Kats (8-3):
    Quietly lethal and still hunting for the Central crown. Their matchup with LA could secure their top-tier status—or spark a Hollywood comeback.

  3. Indy Animals (8-3):
    Jahmyr Gibbs is eating up defenders, and their playoff hopes are as sturdy as Cooper Kupp’s hands (well, when Jayden Daniels can actually find him).

  4. Philadelphia Dark Side (8-3):
    Jalen Hurts keeps the ship steady, but their Week 11 loss exposed some cracks. Can they close out strong, or will the Dark Side crumble under pressure?

  5. Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls (6-5):
    Joe Mixon is carrying this team on his back, and Lamar Jackson is finally getting into playoff form. Don’t count them out yet.

  6. San Antonio Mexican'ts (6-5):
    Sure, they lost a barnburner to Tequila, but Jared Goff and CeeDee Lamb are proving they’re a force in the West.

  7. South Carolina Scarecrows (6-5):
    Hanging around and waiting for that late-season magic. The Scarecrows need more consistency, but the talent is there.

Players of the Week

  • Offensive Player of the Week: Matthew Stafford, Taipei Personality

    Stafford went full video game mode with 295 yards and four touchdowns. Too bad Taipei isn’t playoff-bound—this was a masterclass in QB play.

  • Defensive Player of the Week: Tequila Sunrise

    Denver’s defense racked up 6 sacks, a fumble recovery, and a touchdown in their shootout win. Sometimes, defense really does win championships.

  • Kicker of the Week: Matt Gay, Tabbi's Kats

    Mr. Consistency nailed three field goals to keep Tabbi’s on top. A kicker might not win the glory, but they sure do win games.

A Look Back: Week 11 Game of the Week

Tequila Sunrise 68, San Antonio Mexican'ts 60
The showdown of the week didn’t disappoint. Patrick Mahomes tossed three TDs, Amon-Ra St. Brown lit up the scoreboard, and J.K. Dobbins found the end zone twice. On the other side, Jared Goff’s 433 yards and 4 touchdowns nearly pulled off the upset for San Antonio, but it wasn’t enough.

Quote of the Week:
Tequila owner Jeff Dixon: “We don’t just win games—we win barnburners. Someone get me a fire extinguisher.”

Looking Ahead: Week 12 Game of the Week

Tabbi’s Kats (8-3) @ Los Angeles Lords (4-7)
LA’s playoff hopes are hanging by a thread, and the defending champs need a miracle to stay in the hunt. Tabbi’s, meanwhile, is eyeing the Central crown and can’t afford a slip-up against a desperate Lords squad.

Key Storyline:
Will LA’s Joe Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase deliver a Hollywood ending, or will Tabbi’s stomp on their playoff dreams like a giant mechanical Kat?

Prediction:
Tabbi’s 42, Los Angeles 35.

Nov. 15, 2024

Welcome to another edition of The Endowed 7, where the standings are hot, and the players…well, some are definitely lukewarm. This week’s edition features an offensive explosion, defenses that might need a pep talk, and teams making big moves (or perhaps mistakes) as the trade deadline inches closer. Now, on to the Power Rankings.

The Endowed 7

  1. Philadelphia Dark Side (8-2) – They’ve stormed the East and are looking darker and more unstoppable than ever.
  2. Tequila Sunrise (8-2) – Quietly climbing the charts while keeping the West under their firm, sun-kissed grip.
  3. Tabbi's Kats (7-3) – Clawing up the standings, one win at a time.
  4. Indy Animals (7-3) – Playing consistently strong with eyes on the prize.
  5. Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls (6-4) – A delicious surprise this season, they’re spreading fear in the East.
  6. San Antonio Mexican'ts (6-4) – Showing they’re more “can” than “can’t,” and aiming for Tequila.
  7. South Carolina Scarecrows (5-5) – Still lurking in the standings, one ominous crow at a time.

Players of the Week

  • Offensive Duo: Joe Burrow & Ja'Marr Chase (Los Angeles Lords)

    The pair combined for a jaw-dropping offensive display with Burrow tossing the ball for 434 yards and 4 touchdowns, while Chase did his best superhero impression with 264 receiving yards and 3 TDs. LA may be struggling in the standings, but these two put on a masterclass worthy of a championship.

  • Defense of the Week: Los Angeles Lords

    The Lords’ defense was nothing short of ruthless, with a total of 14 points on sacks, interceptions, and a stunning safety. They may have poured all their luck into one game, but what a game it was!

  • Kicker of the Week: Parker Romo (Philadelphia Dark Side)

    Romo’s leg was pure magic, nailing four field goals for 12 points and propelling Philadelphia to victory. Apparently, in Romo’s world, every kick is a scoring opportunity.

Look Back at Week 10’s Game of the Week: Philadelphia 46, South Carolina 40

This high-stakes showdown was everything IFFL fans hoped for—big plays, nail-biting moments, and just the right amount of trash talk. Philadelphia came out on top with a 46-40 win, despite South Carolina’s best efforts. Jalen Hurts put on a show with 4 touchdowns, while Kyler Murray tried to keep the Scarecrows in the hunt with his own impressive 3 TDs. But Philly’s defense proved too much, and Parker Romo’s golden leg made all the difference. Rumor has it, South Carolina owner Trevor Harless was overheard muttering, “If only our kicker had legs like Romo...”

Look Ahead to Week 11’s Game of the Week: Tequila Sunrise(8-2) vs San Antonio Mexican't (6-4)

Buckle up, folks! The battle for the West heats up as Tequila Sunrise faces off against the surging San Antonio Mexican'ts. Tequila has been a powerhouse all season, but if San Antonio wants respect, now’s the time to take down one of the league’s best. Can the Mexican'ts finally prove they’re more than just playoff hopefuls? Or will Tequila keep their seat at the top? It’s make-or-break time for San Antonio—and they’ll need every ounce of fight they’ve got to take down the Sunrise.

Nov. 09 2024

Welcome to another edition of The Endowed 7, where the standings are hot, and the players…well, some are definitely lukewarm. This week’s edition features an offensive explosion, defenses that might need a pep talk, and teams making big moves (or perhaps mistakes) as the trade deadline inches closer. Now, on to the Power Rankings.

The Endowed 7

  1. Philadelphia Dark Side (7-2) – With a perfect home and division record, Philly’s steamrolling right into the Riesbeck Trophy conversation.

  2. Tequila Sunrise (7-2) – Running on high spirits and even higher scores. They’re staying on Philly's heels, ready to take a shot at the top.

  3. Indy Animals (7-2) – Fresh off their big win against Pittsburgh, they’re clawing their way into the playoff mix with style.

  4. Tabbi’s Kats (6-3) – Still ferocious with 491 points, they’re coming off a huge victory over the Bagels and sitting pretty in the Central.

  5. San Antonio Mexican'ts (6-3) – Even without CeeDee Lamb, they’re scrapping their way to wins, proving their playoff-worthy grit.

  6. Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls (5-4) – With Lamar Jackson back in action, Pittsburgh remains dangerously close to the top despite their recent setback.

  7. South Carolina Scarecrows (5-4) – Barely holding onto playoff hopes, but somehow still in the hunt with their fearless (and frequently injured) roster.

Players of the Week

  • Offensive Player of the Week: Josh Allen, QB, Tabbi’s Kats – Allen’s 242-yard, 3-touchdown extravaganza made sure the Bagels were extra crispy this week.

  • Defensive Player of the Week: Philadelphia Dark Side – With six sacks, two forced turnovers, and a defensive score, Philly's D really showed up, proving their commitment to doing all the work so their offense could take a little breather.

  • Kicker of the Week: Cairo Santos, Tabbi’s Kats – Santos was the ultimate closer, nailing all three field goals and leaving no points on the field. If only every player on Chicago could kick like that.

Look Back: Week 9 Game of the Week – Indy Animals 56, Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls 40

Indy came out swinging in Week 9, with Jayden Daniels posting a respectable 12 points, and Chase Brown going wild with 157 yards and a score. Pittsburgh, despite a valiant 18-point effort from Lamar Jackson, just couldn’t keep up. As Indy's owner said after the game, “When you’ve got our lineup and Pittsburgh only has two healthy wide receivers, you like your odds.”

Pittsburgh fans were left with more questions than answers. “What’s the plan here?” one fan wondered aloud. “Are we supposed to rely on peanut butter and a prayer?” With Pittsburgh still in the playoff picture, they might want to consider trading for, you know, players who can actually play.

Look Ahead: Week 10 Game of the Week – Philadelphia Dark Side (7-2) at South Carolina Scarecrows (5-4)

This week’s showdown is sure to be electric. Philly is charging full-speed toward the Riesbeck Trophy, while South Carolina fights to keep playoff hopes alive. Jalen Hurts has been unstoppable lately, but with South Carolina’s sometimes-healthy roster, they could make this interesting if they can get through all four quarters without another injury.

As South Carolina’s owner put it, “We’re like the unbreakable spirit of an old scarecrow – falling apart but still out there somehow.” Philly, on the other hand, is focused, and you can bet they’re aiming to make a statement and tighten their grip on the East. If South Carolina wants a win, they’ll need to pull off a miracle – or at least hope Philly forgets to show up.

Will Philly march toward the Riesbeck with another dominant win, or can South Carolina pull an upset and keep their playoff dreams alive? One thing’s for sure: this game could be the nail-biter of the season – or at least a solid four-quarter workout for Philly’s offense. Stay tuned!

Oct. 31, 2024

Welcome to The Endowed 7, the only column bold enough to ask the tough questions like, “Is anyone really playing defense?” and “Has anyone seen Pete Shaunki’s dignity?” Now, without further ado (and trust me, there’s been enough ado this season), here are your IFFL Power Rankings:

The Endowed 7 Power Rankings

  1. Philadelphia Dark Side (6-2): Desperate trade strategies be damned; Philly’s holding onto that top spot like a toddler clings to their favorite toy.
  2. Tequila Sunrise (6-2): Winning Week 8’s game of the week just proves that sometimes tequila does solve all your problems.
  3. Indy Animals (6-2): Jayden Daniels might have a rib injury, but Indy keeps pushing forward, probably fueled by sheer spite.
  4. San Antonio Mexican’ts (6-2): Is this their year, or just another mirage? Only time—and maybe a few questionable calls—will tell.
  5. Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls (5-3): The only team named after a sticky snack that’s actually tough to beat.
  6. Tabbi's Kats (5-3): With an explosive offense, they’re still just one tight hamstring away from chaos.
  7. South Carolina Scarecrows (5-3): Surviving a season of injuries and WR nightmares. Harless is probably Googling "curse removal services" as we speak.

Players of the Week

  • Offensive Player of the Week: Kirk Cousins (New Whiteland) – In a twist that has Pete Shaunki cursing into his morning coffee, Cousins proved that trading him away was a mistake. “The grass is always greener where I play next,” said Cousins.

  • Defense of the Week: Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls 12 points providing the breathing room that the team needed during a very close matchup with Cincinnati.

  • Kicker of the Week: South Carolina’s Brandon McRapist – When the game needs saving, sometimes it's the kicker who steps in with 12 points. Harless said, "He’s the only one whose ACL is still intact, so yeah, we’re grateful."

The Look Back: Week 8’s Game of the Week Recap

Hartford Whalers (35) vs. Tequila Sunrise (52)

What happens when the team that can’t decide if they’re trading their star QB faces a squad that treats game day like a fiesta? You get Week 8’s game of the week. Tequila’s Bijan Robinson ran the ball like he was personally offended by every Hartford player, while Hartford’s Patrick Mahomes whispered to himself, “It’s not me; it’s them.”

Owner Chad Allen’s post-game comment: “I thought we were fine until the kickoff. That’s when I knew we were in trouble.”

Look Ahead: Week 9’s Game of the Week

Indy Animals (6-2) at Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls (5-3)

Buckle up, folks! This matchup is sure to be a wild ride. Indy’s coming in hot, and Pittsburgh is ready to prove they’re not just here for the peanut butter puns. “We’re going to give it our all and maybe throw a few trick plays their way,” said Pittsburgh’s owner, Matt Howell, who’s definitely not desperate at all. Meanwhile, Indy’s owner, Q, said, “Win or lose, I’ll be shouting louder than their fans.”

Can Indy hold on to the top spot, or will Pittsburgh get revenge and climb up the rankings? Tune in to find out, and don’t forget to check your blood pressure medication—this one’s going to be close.

Oct. 26, 2024

Well, folks, here we are again, another week of IFFL action that leaves us all questioning why we invest so much time in this. Whether it’s South Carolina thinking they’re elite or Los Angeles losing games they really shouldn’t, it’s safe to say this season is all about making everyone feel “special.” Anyway, enough of the preamble—let’s get to what you’re really here for: the Power Rankings!

The Endowed 7: Power Rankings

  1. Tabbi's Kats (5-2)
    Because who doesn’t love a team that rides Josh Allen and Derrick Henry like they’re the last stars in the sky?

  2. Tequila Sunrise (5-2)
    Consistency in a league where that’s basically a myth. Good job, guys.

  3. San Antonio Mexican'ts (5-2)
    They might not be able to spell “can’t” correctly, but they sure can win games.

  4. South Carolina Scarecrows (5-2)
    Their record screams contender, but their play screams “We’re barely hanging on.”

  5. Indy Animals (5-2)
    Somehow scraping wins together despite their quarterback’s tendency to exit early.

  6. Philadelphia Dark Side (5-2)
    Baker Mayfield’s rollercoaster ride continues—now with extra flair in the 4th quarter!

  7. Cincinnati Bagels (4-3)
    It’s not easy being on the outside looking in, but hey, at least they’re not New Whiteland.

Players of the Week

  • Offensive Player of the Week: Lamar Jackson (Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls)
    5 touchdowns, and a win. Imagine having an offense that works. Wild concept.
  • Defensive Player of the Week: Tequila Sunrise
    When your defense scores 14 points, you know your offense can take a nap and still win. Well done.
  • Kicker of the Week: Cameron Dicker (San Antonio Mexican'ts)
    5 field goals. Someone give this guy a raise. It’s like the Lords couldn’t be bothered to even try stopping him.

The Look Back: Week 7 Game of the Week - South Carolina Scarecrows vs. Tabbi's Kats

In what was billed as a battle for the ages but played out more like a slap-fight at a family reunion, the South Carolina Scarecrows pulled off a 51-45 victory over Tabbi’s Kats. Jordan Love finally remembered he’s a professional quarterback, tossing 3 touchdowns. Mike Evans even managed to limp his way to the end zone before inevitably pulling a hamstring. “Hey, I gave it my best,” he said while hobbling off the field.

On the other side, Josh Allen did his part for Tabbi’s Kats, racking up 324 yards and two touchdowns, but it’s hard to win when Deebo Samuel takes the “day off” with zero yards. Tabbi’s owner was unavailable for comment, as he was seen practicing his best “I'm not mad, just disappointed” face.

The Look Ahead: Week 8 Game of the Week - Hartford Whalers vs. Tequila Sunrise

In what could be the most bittersweet game of the season for Hartford fans, the Whalers face off against the Tequila Sunrise in a matchup that’s about more than just records. With whispers swirling that this might be Patrick Mahomes' last game in a Hartford uniform, all eyes will be on the star QB to see if he can deliver one last heroic performance before possibly being shipped out for—well, who even knows at this point. Owner Chad Allen has been tight-lipped, only offering, “We’ll see what happens.” Very reassuring, Chad.

Meanwhile, the Whalers are adjusting to life without Chris Godwin, whose season-ending ankle injury leaves a huge hole in their receiving corps. But there’s some good news: the return of Puka Nacua, the rookie sensation who looks ready to step up as Mahomes’ new top target. “I’ve been waiting for this opportunity,” Nacua said. “It’s time to show what I’ve got.” And believe me, with the way the Whalers’ offense has looked lately, they’ll need every bit of what he’s got.

On the other side, Tequila Sunrise will be counting on Bijan Robinson to lead the charge. The dynamic back has been the focal point of their offense all season, and he’s poised to exploit a Hartford defense that’s been leaking yards like a sinking ship. “Bijan’s the key, no doubt,” said owner Jeff Dixon. “As long as he keeps doing his thing, we’ve got this.”

JK Dobbins, who started the season on fire, will also be looking to regain his early-season form for Tequila. After a couple of quiet weeks, Dobbins has something to prove, and the Hartford defense might just be his perfect bounce-back opportunity.

With Mahomes possibly playing his final game for Hartford and Tequila riding a wave of momentum, this clash promises drama, excitement, and—let’s be honest—probably some questionable coaching decisions.

Oct. 18, 2024

Ah, the IFFL, where the drama is high, and the stakes are even higher (in a completely fictitious way). It’s the league where your hopes and dreams can be dashed by a 3-yard screen pass or a kicker’s missed PAT. But hey, that’s why we all love it, right? As we sail through the choppy waters of Week 6, it’s time to check in on the state of the league. Without further ado, let’s dive into the only rankings that matter (to absolutely no one but me).

The Endowed 7:

  1. Tabbi’s Kats (5-1)
    When you’re sitting pretty at 5-1, you get to wear the crown. Whether it fits or not, it’s yours, Tabbi!

  2. Indy Animals (5-1)
    With a roaring 5-1 start, Kevin “Q” Ryburn’s squad proves that even animals with bad records in 2023 can evolve... sort of like Pokémon but with fewer sparkles.

  3. Tequila Sunrise (4-2)
    Jeff Dixon’s crew is as consistent as a hangover after a night of tequila shots—reliable and never fun. But hey, they’re getting wins, so bottoms up!

  4. San Antonio Mexican'ts (4-2)
    Tanya Harless’ team is putting up points and Ws, making people wonder if it’s finally their year or just another mirage in the Texas heat.

  5. South Carolina Scarecrows (4-2)
    Trevor Harless’ team was on shaky ground after a two-game losing streak. But don’t worry, they got back on track vs the Lords.

  6. Philadelphia Dark Side (4-2)
    Avan Beaver’s Dark Side might be 4-2, but they’re about as intimidating as a Sith Lord in a bathrobe. Still, wins are wins.

  7. Cincinnati Bagels (4-2)
    They’re 4-2, but with a name like “Bagels,” you’d expect a little more. Maybe throw some cream cheese and a touchdown or two on top, Les Paul Couch!

Players of the Week

  • Offensive Player of the Week: Baker Mayfield (Philadelphia)
    A whopping 354 yards and 4 touchdowns. Apparently, Baker does not care about the haters, only about racking up fantasy points.
  • Defensive Player of the Week: Philadelphia Dark Side
    With 4 sacks, 2 forced fumbles, and 3 INTs, Philadelphia showed up like they were auditioning for a new "300" movie: "This. Is. Defensive Football!"
  • Kicker of the Week: Cameron Dicker (San Antonio)
    Dicker kept his team alive with 11 points, he lead his team to victory just as Madame Harless intended.

The Look Back: Week 6’s Game of the Week - South Carolina Scarecrows @ Los Angeles Lords

Oh, what a matchup it was—a classic tale of two teams going in opposite directions. The Scarecrows, desperate to avoid their third straight loss, arrived with a chip on their shoulder and Jordan Love’s golden arm ready for action. And boy, did Love deliver! Four touchdowns, 271 yards, and a smile that could melt a coach’s icy glare.

Meanwhile, the Los Angeles Lords, hot off two straight wins, seemed about as prepared for this game as a cat is for water. Joe Burrow tried his best with 263 yards and a lone touchdown, but it was like watching someone trying to put out a forest fire with a squirt gun. Mark Andrews finally chipped in with a touchdown, and Younghoe Koo did his job (shout out to his 12 points), but the Lords’ defense was as sturdy as a wet paper towel.

Final score: South Carolina 49, Los Angeles 34. And just like that, the Scarecrows get back on track while the Lords go back to the drawing board—or maybe the yoga mat for some team bonding sessions.

A Look Ahead: Week 7’s Game of the Week - Tabbi’s Kats @ South Carolina Scarecrows

Ah, yes—the clash of the titans (or at least one titan and one team that’s trying its best). The 5-1 Tabbi’s Kats are strolling into South Carolina like they own the place, while the Scarecrows are desperately searching for the brake pedal on this two-game losing skid they’ve found themselves in. Someone cue the dramatic music; it’s about to get interesting.

Tabbi Brewer, owner of the Kats, was seen lounging poolside during the pre-game interviews. “Oh, we’re feeling great. It’s not like the Scarecrows have been on a winning streak or anything,” she said while sipping what looked suspiciously like a margarita. “Honestly, we’re just here for the snacks and the highlight reel touchdowns.” Confident? Maybe. Overconfident? Probably. But when you’re 5-1 and your QB is Josh Allen, you get to sip those margaritas and talk your talk.

Meanwhile, Trevor Harless of the Scarecrows seemed... optimistic? “We’re just one win away from being back on track,” he said with the kind of smile you force when your phone battery is at 2% and you forgot your charger. Jordan Love, their QB, chimed in, “We’ve had some rough games, but it’s all about the next man up.” This would be reassuring if the “next man up” wasn’t the guy they found stocking shelves at the local grocery store last week.

As for the on-field matchup, Josh Allen has been playing like he’s in a video game—stacking up points and making defenders look like they’re running in quicksand. He’s got weapons like Derrick Henry, who basically needs a bulldozer to stop him, and Deebo Samuel, who seems to have made a hobby of torching defenses. Henry commented, “I’m just trying to have fun out there. And by fun, I mean running through people.” A heartwarming sentiment, truly.

Oct. 12, 2024

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Endowed 7, your go-to power rankings and musings on the wild, wonderful, and occasionally weird world of the IFFL. Much like Lamar Jackson after four touchdowns, I’m feeling myself this week, so buckle up for some award-winning commentary (or at least commentary that’s won an argument with my editor). Week 5 gave us touchdowns, tears, ties, and enough drama to make "The Bachelor" look like a knitting club.

But I digress—on to the Power Rankings!

Top 7 Teams in the IFFL (The Endowed 7)

  1. Tabbi’s Kats (4-1)
    Someone get this team a cape because they are superhuman. Derrick Henry and D’Andre Swift are running through defenses like they're going for a morning jog, leaving the competition gasping for air. With a close shave against Cincinnati, they're walking the line but still on top.
  2. Indy Animals (4-1)
    Indy is quietly stacking wins and making us wonder if they’re building a zoo or a championship team. Jayden Daniels isn’t flashy, but he gets the job done. And Garrett Wilson? He’s out here reminding us why he’s WR material.
  3. Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls (3-2)
    The PB Balls are spreading themselves all over the competition. Lamar Jackson played like his controller was on “All-Madden” mode last week, and DJ Moore is scoring touchdowns like he’s got a bet on it. If they keep this up, their competition will be toast.
  4. Tequila Sunrise (3-2)
    Tequila Sunrise is playing just like their namesake drink—dangerously potent. Justin Fields is throwing just enough touchdowns to keep the buzz going, and Isaiah Likely? He’s out here catching touchdowns like he’s auditioning for a superhero flick. Don’t sleep on these guys, or you’ll wake up with a pounding loss.
  5. Philadelphia Dark Side (3-2)
    The Dark Side is strong with this one. Baker Mayfield is somehow reminding us all he can throw touchdowns like it’s 2018, and Will Reichard? He’s been kicking like he’s aiming for the Death Star’s exhaust port. Winning ugly is still winning.
  6. Cincinnati Bagels (3-2)
    The Bagels narrowly missed a win last week, but hey, Roschon Johnson and Darnell Mooney kept the toaster warm. Sam Darnold may not have tossed a touchdown, but this team's bag of tricks isn’t empty yet.
  7. South Carolina Scarecrows (3-2)
    They may have been buried by Pittsburgh last week, but this team is still alive and kicking. With Jordan Love playing some respectable football and the ghost of Halloween lurking, expect the Scarecrows to rise from the dead like it’s October 31st.

Players of the Week

Offensive Player of the Week: Lamar Jackson (Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls)
403 yards, 4 touchdowns
Lamar Jackson did everything but drive the team bus. This man accounted for 30 points and had defenders reconsidering their career choices. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to stop a QB who runs like Usain Bolt but throws like Aaron Rodgers,” one anonymous linebacker said while looking for a new job.

Defensive Player of the Week: Philadelphia Dark Side
420 yards allowed, 3 sack, 1 fumble recovery, 1 defensive touchdown
TheDark Side’ defense said, “We got this” and proceeded to keep Bijan Robinson and Devon Achane out of the endzone. The Defense deserves this win almost as much as Baker Mayfield. 

Kicker of the Week: Matt Gay (Tabbi’s Kats)
4 extra points, 2 field goals
Matt Gay had ice in his veins, scoring 10 points in a nail-biting win. The only thing colder than his kicks was Cincinnati’s chance of pulling off the upset. Gay practically walked off the field with a "Mission Accomplished" banner over his head.

The Look Back: Tabbi’s Kats (42) vs. Cincinnati Bagels (41) – Game of the Week Recap

Well, folks, if you like high-flying, heart-pounding action, this game had all the excitement of a car chase in a ‘90s action movie. Tabbi’s Kats narrowly escaped a loss like they were starring in an escape room thriller. Derrick Henry and D’Andre Swift did what they do best—demolish defensive lines like they’re made of paper mache. "I told the O-line, ‘just give me a crack,’ and I’ll bust through," said Henry, probably while eating an entire steak the size of a small country.

Cincinnati wasn’t going down without a fight. Roschon Johnson found the end zone twice, and Darnell Mooney pulled off two highlight-reel-worthy touchdowns. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. “We’re right there,” a dejected Sam Darnold said post-game. “Right there…,” he muttered, presumably while staring off into the abyss.

The game came down to Matt Gay’s leg, and as the field goal sailed through the uprights, you could almost hear the faint sound of Cincinnati fans’ hearts breaking. "Just another day at the office," Gay smirked, making sure everyone knew who the real MVP was.

The Look Ahead: Week 6 Game of the Week – South Carolina Scarecrows @ Los Angeles Lords

This Week 6 showdown pits two IFFL heavyweights on dramatically different paths. The Los Angeles Lords, riding a wave of momentum with back-to-back victories, are looking to make it three straight and further assert their dominance in the Western Division. On the other side, the South Carolina Scarecrows find themselves spiraling, coming off two consecutive losses and in desperate need of a victory to avoid slipping further in the standings.

Los Angeles Owner Jason Beaver, brimming with confidence, stated, “We’re in the business of winning, and business is booming! Three in a row? Make that a reality.” The Lords’ offense has been electric, with Joe Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase continuing their Cincinnati-inspired fantasy connection. Burrow, who threw for 5 touchdowns last week, declared, “It’s about consistency. We’ve found our rhythm, and we’re just getting started.” With Trey Sermon filling in admirably in the backfield, Los Angeles looks set for another offensive explosion.

Meanwhile, South Carolina’s Trevor Harless knows the gravity of this game, admitting, “We’ve got to stop the bleeding. The season’s long, but dropping three straight? That’s not in the playbook.” The Scarecrows will lean heavily on Jordan Love and Stefon Diggs, with Diggs adding, “We’ve had a couple rough weeks, but we’re not panicking. The plays are there, and we just need to execute better.” Jonathan Taylor, hoping to return from injury, will be a key factor in getting South Carolina back on track.

The Lords are playing at home and in fine form, but South Carolina’s desperation for a win makes them a dangerous opponent. Both teams have their sights set on reversing their respective streaks, but only one will succeed.

Projected Final Score:
Los Angeles Lords 45, South Carolina Scarecrows 38.

Oct. 02, 2024

Ah yes, the IFFL, where the line between greatness and utter incompetence is as thin as Jason Beaver's patience during a 0-3 start. Some teams rise, while others… well, they’re just here to remind us why football is 90% luck, 10% screaming at your team. But enough with the philosophical musings—let's talk about who’s on top, who’s scraping the bottom, and who is just… existing. Now, on to the Power Rankings.

  1. Tabbi's Kats (3-1)
    With Josh Allen and Derrick Henry rolling through defenses like they’re made of paper, the Kats sit comfortably at the top. Congrats on your winning formula: break records and people’s spirits.
  2. Tequila Sunrise (3-1)
    Three wins and a 167-point haul. They might have dodged a few bullets (like a struggling Justin Herbert), but hey, tequila never tastes this smooth unless you’ve earned it. Drink up, Dixon.
  3. Indy Animals (3-1)
    They dropped a game in Week 4, but Jayden Daniels is the breakout nobody saw coming, except Q, who'll make sure to remind us of his genius at every opportunity.
  4. South Carolina Scarecrows (3-1)
    The Scarecrows finally tasted defeat, and honestly, it’s about time. Still, they're dangerous and probably already plotting some form of cornfield-based revenge.
  5. Cincinnati Bagels (3-1)
    Every week, they do just enough to win. Week 5 against Tabbi’s is a family affair, can the Bagels keep this up until Christian McCaffrey attempts his comeback?
  6. San Antonio Mexican'ts (3-1)
    Winning by sheer grit and the occasional Devin Singletary surprise party, the Mexican'ts keep plugging along. They’re not flashy, but they get the job done. Could they be the dark horse?
  7. Taipei Personality (2-2)
    The highest-scoring team that just can't get above .500. If points counted for more than wins, Taipei would be king. But alas, Andrew Wang must settle for mediocrity and an air of smug superiority.

Players of the Week

Offensive Player of the Week: Justin Fields QB Teq 367 yards and 3 TD’s just what the team needed in a pinch.

Defense of the Week: Chicago even in a loss the Ditka’s D was head and shoulders above everyone else.  6 Saccks, 2 FR, an INT, a TD and only allowing 216 yards that is the kind of performance the PB Balls will take every week.

Kicker of the Week: Younghoe Koo - LA 4 FG and 2 XP for 14 points was the Lords best special teams game of the season.

The Look Back: Week 4’s Game of the Week

Los Angeles Lords (1-3) vs. New Delhi Subs (0-4)

Los Angeles 58, New Delhi 32

This was a battle of the desperate—both teams 0-3 and on the brink of fantasy irrelevance. Joe Burrow finally woke up and threw for 328 yards and 3 TDs, connecting with Ja'Marr Chase (118 yards, 2 TDs) like it was 2021. Meanwhile, the Buffalo defense decided to show up, racking up 5 sacks and a touchdown, completely stifling whatever faint hope Brock Purdy and Kyren Williams had for a New Delhi comeback.

Rumor has it that Pete Shaunki was seen flipping through his contact list during halftime, frantically searching for a trade partner to offload whatever dignity he has left. But hey, there’s always next year, New Delhi.

The Look Ahead: Week 5’s Game of the Week

Tabbi's Kats (3-1) vs. Cincinnati Bagels (3-1)

Now, this is the matchup we’ve been waiting for. Two 3-1 teams, both riding high and both with a point to prove. Josh Allen leads the Kats, while Christian McCaffrey continues his reign of terror for the Bagels. This one could easily be a 50-point showdown, or it could come down to a last-second kicker. Either way, it’s going to be glorious, especially when someone inevitably loses and starts questioning all of their life choices.

Projected Final Score: Tabbi’s Kats 52, Cincinnati Bagels 48

So, will Tabbi’s reign continue, or will Cincinnati finally knock them down a peg? Either way, there’s bound to be drama, tears, and someone typing out a strongly worded trade offer right after the game.

Sep. 26, 2024

Welcome back to the IFFL week 3 is in the books. We started with 4 undefeated teams and now there are 2. Let’s get to the Power Rankings.

  1. South Carolina Scarecrows (3-0) Dominant on both offense and defense, led by Jonathan Taylor

  2. Indy Animals (3-0) Undefeated and showing offensive firepower, especially with Jayden Daniels and Jahmyr Gibbs.

  3. Taipei Personality (2-1)  Putting up impressive offensive numbers, especially with Malik Nabers and Saquon Barkley leading the way.

  4. Tequila Sunrise (2-1) Still one of the best teams despite their narrow loss to Indy.

  5. San Antonio Mexican'ts (2-1) Narrowly won a week 3 game against a good Philadelphia team.

  6. Hartford Whalers (2-1) Despite their Week 3 loss to South Carolina, they are still one of the better teams with strong offensive weapons like Patrick Mahomes and Chris Godwin.

  7. Tabbi’s Kats (2-1) Impressive bounce-back win in Week 3, scoring 90 points.

Players of the Week

Offensive Player of the Week - Jauan Jennings  (Tab) WR - 175 yards and 3 touchdowns contributed to the Kats scoring 90 pts.

Defense of the Week - Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls-  168 total yards allowed, 5 sacks, 8 total points. The Pittsburgh defense was dominant, holding New Delhi's offense to minimal gains.

Special Teams Player of the Week - Brayden Narveson (South Carolina Scarecrows) - 3 field goals, 3 extra points. Narveson was a consistent force, scoring 12 points.

The Look Ahead to Week 4’s Game of the Week

Los Angeles Lords (0-3) @ New Delhi Subs (0-3)

Both teams are desperate for their first win of the season, making this a high-stakes matchup. With two talented rosters, it’s surprising that neither team has found success yet. Los Angeles is loaded with star power, including Joe Burrow, Justin Jefferson, and Ja’Marr Chase, but their defense and inconsistent performances have held them back. New Delhi has shown flashes of brilliance, particularly with Brock Purdy and Kyren Williams leading their offense. However, they’ve been on the losing end of close games, and a victory here is critical to turn their season around. This game has the makings of a high-scoring shootout, and both teams will fight hard to avoid going 0-4. Look for the star receivers in Los Angeles to shine, but don’t count out New Delhi’s balanced attack. It could come down to who makes the fewest mistakes.

Final Prediction: Los Angeles 44, New Delhi 42

The Rewind a look back at the Week 3’s Game of the Week

Tequila 36 @ Indy 38

In a thrilling back-and-forth contest, the Indy Animals (3-0) edged out the Tequila Sunrise (2-1) with a narrow 38-36 victory. Jayden Daniels led the way for Indy with 293 yards and 3 touchdowns, while Jahmyr Gibbs contributed with 103 rushing yards and a score.

Tequila fought hard behind Justin Herbert and a strong receiving game from Amon-Ra St. Brown and Khalil Shakir, but their offense fell just short in the final moments. De'Von Achane and Bijan Robinson couldn't do enough to overcome Indy's lead.

"We knew it was going to be a dogfight, but Daniels was unstoppable today," said Indy's owner, Kevin Ryburn. "This was a statement win."

Indy stays undefeated with this big win, while Tequila suffers their first loss of the season.

Sep. 21, 2024

Welcome back to the IFFL week 2 is in the books. Predictable week but still some excitement. Let’s get to the Power Rankings.

  1. South Carolina Scarecrows (2-0) The Scarecrows have been dominant on both sides of the ball, with strong performances from Derek Carr and their defense.

  2. Tequila Sunrise (2-0) Tequila Sunrise survived a close battle with Los Angeles in Week 2.

  3. Indy Animals (2-0) They’re undefeated but have shown they can win tight, low-scoring contests.

  4. Hartford Whalers (2-0) Hartford is undefeated after two weeks, with Patrick Mahomes leading the offense and key contributions from wide receivers like Nico Collins.

  5. Philadelphia Dark Side (1-1) Philadelphia bounced back in Week 2 with a dominant win over New Delhi.

  6. Taipei Personality (1-1) Despite losing a close game in Week 2, Taipei remains one of the top teams thanks to their explosive offense led by Dak Prescott and James Cook, who had a monster game in Week 2 with three touchdowns in the first quarter.

  7. San Antonio Mexican'ts (1-1) After a slow start in Week 1, San Antonio rebounded in a big way with a high-scoring win over Taipei in Week 2.

Players of the Week

Offensive Player of the Week - Alvin Kamara  (Phi) RB - 180 yards and 4 touchdowns contributed to the Dark Side  going 1-1.

Defense of the Week - San Antonio Mexican’ts - 10 points shut down Taipei in the second half

Special Teams Player of the Week - Evan McPherson (Har) K - McPherson's 13 points were crucial in the Whalers' 43-30 victory over Tabbi's Kats

The Look Ahead to Week 2’s Game of the Week

Tequila Sunrise (2-0) @ Indy Animals (2-0)

Both teams come into Week 3 with a perfect 2-0 record, meaning one team will suffer their first loss of the season. Tequila Sunrise has been strong on both the ground and through the air, with Justin Herbert at QB and De'Von Achane and J.K. Dobbins leading their rushing attack. They edged out a close win against Los Angeles in Week 2 and have shown resilience in tight games.Indy Animals have relied on young wide receiver Marvin Harrison Jr., who has already posted big numbers this season. While it's early in the season, both teams are showing potential as contenders. A win here could solidify either team as a frontrunner in their division.

The Rewind: A Look Back at Week 1’s Game of the Week

Hartford Whalers 43, Tabbi’s Kats 30

The Hartford Whalers (2-0) marched into Week 2 and sailed away with a 43-30 win over the Tabbi’s Kats (1-1), keeping their undefeated season intact, much to the dismay of their opponent's feline fanbase. Despite a solid effort from Tabbi’s Kats, the Whalers were led by quarterback Patrick Mahomes and a passing game that left the Kats scrambling like a laser pointer on the wall.

Mahomes threw for 180 yards and 2 touchdowns, which was apparently just enough for Whalers’ owner Chad Allen, who still had plenty to say after the game. “Look, we did what we had to do. The defense gave up some yards, but at least our boys didn’t get distracted by, I don’t know, baking cookies or something,” Allen quipped, perpetuating his unique stance on women in football. “Football is about toughness, and I think we’ve proven that this is no place for—well, you know what I mean.”

Tabbi Brewer, owner of Tabbi’s Kats, was unfazed by the Whalers' win or Allen's jabs. "Honestly, Chad sounds like he's one bad loss away from a Gilmore Girls marathon and a box of tissues," Brewer said, laughing. "We’ll bounce back. We’ve got the better team, and we'll see them again."

Rumor has it, Allen’s looking to bolster his special teams by trading for Harrison Butker, the kicker from New Delhi. “Look, McPherson is solid, but Butker's got a leg that could knock down trees. I like that,” Allen said, conveniently forgetting that Butker’s was very controversial this spring with the role of women in society.

Dalton Kincaid, Tabbi’s young tight end, seemed unfazed by the loss. “Hey, it’s just one game. Plus, after hearing Chad's comments, I think his real goal is to trade his players for more misogynistic jokes,” Kincaid said with a grin.

The Whalers sail on to Week 3 with their pristine record, while Tabbi’s Kats will look to bounce back—hopefully without catching any more Allen-sized storms along the way.

Sep. 12, 2024

Welcome back to the IFFL week 1 is in the books. What a wild ride week 1 was now.. Let’s get to the Power Rankings.

  1. South Carolina Scarecrows (1-0): Balanced team with strong RBs (Jonathan Taylor, Travis Etienne) and an elite WR group (Stefon Diggs, Mike Evans, DeAndre Hopkins). Can Derek Carr keep the ship steady while Jordan Love heals?
  2. Tabbi's Kats (1-0): High-scoring offense led by Josh Allen and Derrick Henry. Strong WRs (Deebo Samuel, Keenan Allen) and consistent TE play. Strong overall team performance in Week 1.
  3. Taipei Personality (1-0): Explosive play from Tyreek Hill and reliable contributions from Saquon Barkley. Dak Prescott adds consistency at QB, while the team has depth across WR and RB positions.
  4. Los Angeles Lords (0-1): Preseason favorite has alot to correct in a quick time frame or this season is a bust.  Burrow must get back to normal in Week 2.
  5. Tequila Sunrise (1-0): Balanced team with strong QB play from Justin Herbert and standout RB Bijan Robinson. Solid WR group led by Amon-Ra St. Brown. Reliable kicker and defense complement the team.
  6. Hartford Whalers (1-0): Led by Patrick Mahomes, this team boasts a solid QB-RB combination with Josh Jacobs and a reliable receiving corps. Defense and special teams have been consistent.
  7. Cincinnati Bagels (1-0): Led by Christian McCaffrey and Tony Pollard, the Bagels have a dominant backfield. Rookie QB C.J. Stroud has shown promise, and the team’s WRs (Jaylen Waddle, Jordan Addison) contribute to a balanced attack.

The Look Ahead to Week 2’s Game of the Week

Hartford Whalers (1-0) @ Tabbi's Kats (1-0)

Both Hartford and Tabbi's come into Week 2 with a 1-0 record, making this a crucial early-season matchup. A win here keeps momentum strong for either team, while a loss could shake their confidence. Patrick Mahomes leads the Hartford Whalers, while Josh Allen commands Tabbi's Kats. This QB duel features two of the league’s top fantasy players, both capable of putting up huge numbers and making highlight-reel plays. Tabbi's Kats boast a powerful ground game with Derrick Henry and D'Andre Swift, providing a mix of power and agility. Hartford counters with Josh Jacobs, who can grind out tough yards. The WR battle is equally compelling, with Tabbi's featuring Deebo Samuel and Keenan Allen, while Hartford’s mix of Nico Collins and Chris Godwin provides depth.

The Rewind a look back at the Week 1’s Game of the Week

Cincinnati Bagels 39 @ Los Angeles Lords 15

The Cincinnati Bagels (1-0) kicked off their 2024 campaign in impressive fashion, overpowering the Los Angeles Lords (0-1) with a commanding 39-15 victory. The Bagels set the tone early and never looked back, riding a balanced offensive attack and a suffocating defensive performance. Cincinnati quarterback C.J. Stroud delivered a strong showing, throwing for 247 yards and 2 touchdowns, earning 12 points. The Bagels’ ground game was equally effective, with Breece Hall and David Montgomery each rushing for 93 yards and a touchdown, contributing 6 points each. Ka’imi Fairbairn’s reliable leg added 11 points with 3 field goals and 2 extra points, rounding out a complete performance from the special teams.


Sep. 02, 2024

Welcome back to the IFFL Preseason Edition. Not much has changed this season.. Let’s go Power Rankings Time!

  1. Los Angeles Lords: With Joe Burrow at QB and elite WRs Justin Jefferson and Ja'Marr Chase, this team is well-rounded with strong offensive firepower. Defending Champion.

  2. Chicago Fightin' Ditkas: Caleb Williams at QB, controversial pick, alongside a talented WR trio of Drake London, Christian Watson, and Courtland Sutton, makes this team dangerous.

  3. New Delhi Subs: Balanced across the board, with Brock Purdy at QB, strong RB depth (Kenneth Walker, Aaron Jones), and elite WRs like Chris Olave.

  4. Cincinnati Bagels: With Christian McCaffrey and Breece Hall in the backfield and rising stars like C.J. Stroud at QB, this team has explosive potential.

  5. San Antonio Mexican'ts: Anthony Richardson at QB, and a strong WR duo in CeeDee Lamb and D.K. Metcalf, combined with Nick Chubb (when healthy) provides solid balance.

  6. Hartford Whalers: With a strong QB in Patrick Mahomes and balanced offensive weapons, this team has the potential for consistent performance.

  7. South Carolina Scarecrows: Led by Jordan Love, with solid WRs and RBs, they have the capability to be contenders with their balanced attack.

The Look Ahead to Week 1’s Game of the Week

Why? A rematch of the 2023 Championship game where the Lords won 49-38. Both teams are loaded with talent—Joe Burrow leading the Lords against the Bagels’ new franchise QB C.J. Stroud.

The Rewind a look back at the Superbowl

Los Angeles Lords 49, Cincinnati Bagels 38


The Los Angeles Lords claimed their fourth IFFL championship, and first since 2011, with a dramatic comeback victory over the Cincinnati Bagels. Trailing 26-10 after the first quarter, the Lords were led by Kyren Williams, who rushed for 101 yards and scored three crucial touchdowns. Derek Carr added 194 yards and two touchdown passes, while the Jets defense contributed a key touchdown. Despite Joe Flacco's 312-yard, three-touchdown performance for Cincinnati, the Bagels couldn't hold off Los Angeles' second-half surge, sealing their defeat.

Jan. 07, 2024

Welcome back to the IFFL. The Super Bowl is done, the Riesbeck trophy has been handed out, and no one died this season. Here we go for the last time in the 2023 season.

  1. Los Angeles Lords (11-5) IFFL Super Bowl 28 Champion. The in season moves made were game changers.

  2. Cincinnati Bagels (12-5) This team is showing that they are a force to be reckoned with in seasons to come.

  3. New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz (10-5) They faltered at the wrong time this season live and learn and come back stronger

  4. South Carolina Scarecrows (9-7) Made it back to the playoffs now to make sure they dont shoot themselves in the foot for next season.

  5. Tabbi’s Kats (8-7) Started the year looking for a repeat title, finished the season trying to figure out what happened to their dominance in the Central.

  6. Taipei Personality (8-7) Choked in the playoffs from the far east. They have a chance to be back next season especially with some more attention from ownership.

  7. PIttsburgh PeanutButter Balls (7-7) Just missed the playoffs this season, the team will be looking to be better next year.

2024 Draft Order

  1. Indy Animals (2-12)
  2. Philadelphia Dark Side (5-9)
  3. Chicago Fightin Ditka’s (5-9)
  4. New Delhi Subs (6-8)
  5. San Antonio Mexican’ts (6-8)
  6. Hartford Whalers (7-7)
  7. Tequila Sunrise (7-7)
  8. Pittsburgh PeanutButter Balls (7-7)
  9. Taipei Personality (8-6)
  10. Tabbi’s Kats (8-6)
  11. South Carolina Scarecrows (8-6)
  12. New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz (10-4)
  13. Cincinnat Bagels (10-4)
  14. New Delhi Subs (6-8) via Los Angeles Lords (9-5)

The Look Ahead to the 2024 Season

Draft Information will be sent out in Late July/August.

The Protected Players form is now open here

Nov. 08, 2023

Welcome back to the IFFL. Week 9. We are back after a week away. Now let's get to the power rankings.

  1. Cincinnati Bagels (7-2) Took care of the division rival Chicken Pluckerz this week, now to keep players healthy and build towards the playoffs.

  2. New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz  (7-2) Took the L this week, but they are still in control of the Central by points.

  3. Los Angeles Lords (6-3) Got their swagger back this week and took out the Personality.

  4. South Carolina (5-4) Finally got past the Kats, now if they can just keep Hurts upright.

  5. Tabbi’s Kats (5-4) No one wants to see the Kats as a wildcard team so hopefully they either surge to win the division or lose out and miss the playoffs.

  6. Hartford Whalers (5-4) Beats up on the bottom tier teams in the IFFL, needs to put together a game against playoff caliber competition.

  7. San Antonio Mexican’ts (5-4) Losing to the Sunrise hurts, losing to the Sunrise to give them a winning streak really sucks.

Players of the Week

Offensive Player of the Week - CJ Stroud (Cin) - 480 yards, 5 TD’s, 2 pt con, 44 points this kid came in and gave the best performance of his life when the team needed it most. Lawrence and McCaffrey are back this week.

Defense of the Week - South Carolina -19 pts from  4sacks, 2 Ints, and 2 TD’s. This team finally got the defensive performance they have been waiting for, for 20 years. All joking aside they are looking good for the postseason.

Special Teams Player of the Week - Justin Tucker - 4xp and 3 FG’s the Ditkas are just trying to play spoiler.

The Look Ahead to Week 10’s Game of the Week

South Carolina @ Philadelphia- Both teams need a win for different reasons but the Dark Side are trying to stay in the playoff hunt and probably need it more, they are getting Kyler back so hopefully his surgically repaiired knee holds up under pressure.

Oct. 29, 2023

Welcome back to the IFFL. Week 7. Not much changed at the top of the table this week. Let’s get to the Power Rankings.

  1. New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz  (6-1) Making it #1 for 3 straight weeks. The ChickenPluckerz look to avoid a letdown against Indy.

  2. Los Angeles Lords (5-2) Couldn't find Travis Kelce or Gardner Minshew all day, thankfully everyone right behind them lost too.

  3. Cincinnati Bagels (5-2) Say something nice and they lose.

  4. Hartford Whalers (4-3) Took out the lowly Sunrise.

  5. South Carolina (4-3) Makes the Big Jump this week, is this team for real, finally?

  6. Tabbi’s Kats (4-3) The Kats are staying close but they need to go on a win streak.

  7. San Antonio Mexican’ts (4-3) They lost in glorious fashion this week, a 60 yard TD right before halftime to Jordan Addison finishes them off.

Players of the Week

Offensive Player of the Week - Travis Kelce  (ND) - 179 yds and a TD as Kelce outscores the Lords.

Defense of the Week - New Whiteland 4s, 3FR, Int, & TD  for 14 points brought the victory home for New Whiteland

Special Teams Player of the Week - Justin Tucker - Don't look now but the Ditka’s have won 2 in a row and look like they have some life in them.

The Look Ahead to Week 7’s Game of the Week

Philadelphia @ South Carolina  - Will Kyler play this week or will it be Jared Goff again. After a disappointing week in which Goff only had 1 TD pass, the Dark Side are close to getting Murray back. For South Carolina they are in 2nd place by points and think they are the rightful owners of the East Division.

The Rewind a look back at Week 6’s Game of the Week

New Whiteland @ Tabbi’s- What a game this was Josh Allen was the best player on the field for Tabbi’s Kats but unfortunately for the defending champ, Allen seemed to be the only one on the field that knew they had a game this week. The New Whiteland Defense was the difference in the game.

Oct. 19,2023

Welcome back to the IFFL. Week 6. This was a weird weekend in the IFFL. Let’s get to the Power Rankings.

  1. New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz  (5-1) New Whiteland is the first team at #1 in consecutive weeks this season.
  2. Los Angeles Lords (5-1) Found a rushing attack this weekend Kyren Williams then gets hurt.
  3. Cincinnati Bagels (5-1) Just keeps winning.
  4. Tabbi’s Kats (4-2) The Kats keep winning and keeping the division close
  5. San Antonio Mexican’ts (4-2) Takes out the Subs in glorious fashion.
  6. Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls (3-3) Making their first appearance in the top 7 this year.
  7. Hartford Whalers  (3-3) Another new face how long do they stick around?

Players of the Week

Offensive Player of the Week - Raheem Mostert (NW) - 132 yds and 3 TD’s for Mostert powers the team past Taipei.

Defense of the Week - Tabbi’s Kats 4s, FR, 2 Ints, 197 yds for 10 points combined with Brandon McManus (see below) scratches the Animals into the loss column.  

Special Teams Player of the Week - Brandon McManus  4 extra points and 3 FG’s provided the cushion for the Kats over Indy.

The Look Ahead to Week 7’s Game of the Week

New Whiteland @ Tabbi’s - This game can bring NW to the point where they are the clear favorites in the central but if they lose the Kats can claw the Chicken Pluckerz back to reality. Now the only question is, Who will stand victorious?

The Rewind a look back at Week 6’s Game of the Week

Tequila @ Cincinnati - The Sunrise have lost their rushing attack. This team has to find an identity and quick. The fans are restless, management is at a loss, they have made moves but nothing is panning out for them right now. Meanwhile Cincinnati is killing it. Having an amazing time racking up wins, outside of New Whiteland. Christian McCaffrey did get injured this weekend, let's see if he can answer the bell in week 7.

 

Oct. 12, 2023

Welcome back to the IFFL. Week 5. It's a glorious day as there are no winless teams in the IFFL. Let’s get to the Power Rankings.

  1. New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz  (4-1) New Whiteland will try the #1 spot again.
  2. Los Angeles Lords (4-1) Ja’Marr Chase might be just what the doctor ordered.
  3. Cincinnati Bagels (4-1) Took out arch nemesis, Tabbi’s Kats.
  4. Tabbi’s Kats (3-2) Took the L in a hard fought game, Josh Allen its football season.
  5. South Carolina Scarecrows  (3-2) Beat the tar out of SA, & got Nico Collins.
  6. San Antonio Mexican’ts (3-2) Needs to find a battered womans shelter ASAP.
  7. Taipei Personality (3-2) Even losing to the lowly Subs can’t send this team out of the top 7.

Players of the Week

Offensive Player of the Week -
DJ Moore (Pit) This was one hell of a performance against the Dark Side. 230 yards and 3 TD’s for 24 points.

Defense of the Week -  Los Angeles Lords - 15 points scored 4 Sacks, 3 FR’s, 1 Safety & a TD, showed the Lords dominance over the Whale

Special Teams Player of the Week - Jake Elliott from Phi - Knocked home 3 FG’s and 2 XP’s to keep the PB Balls at bay.

The Look Ahead to Week 6’s Game of the Week

Tequila @ Cincinnati- This might be it, a last gasp chance for Tequila to prove they are better than their record shows. If they can come out and cream the Bagels they have a chance at redemption. For the Bagels they are flying high at 4-1, and like last year, they are somehow flying under the radar. This team needs to keep the status quo though and cloud the Sunrise.

The Rewind a Look Back at Week 5’s Game of the Week

San Antonio @ South Carolina - South Carolina who is the perennial underdog in this matchup came in and flexed their muscles and fists, showing her who was boss. This is not your typical Trevor, this was 1950’s backwoods, alcoholic Trevor and he sent a message to the IFFL.

Oct. 05, 2023

Welcome back to the IFFL. Week 4. Let’s get to this week’s power rankings.

  1. Tabbi’s Kats (3-1) Kats just keep winning
  2. San Antonio Mexican’ts (3-1)  The team is ready for the Domestic Violence Bowl
  3. New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz (3-1) Got blown out by San Antonio, meaning that after 4 weeks there are no perfect teams any longer
  4. Los Angeles Lords (3-1) Joe B better get right soon, second week in a row we call this out
  5. Taipei Personality  (3-1) Cruising along tied with San Antonio and Los Angeles for the lead in the west
  6. Cincinnati Bagels  (3-1) Creamed their way to another win
  7. Indy Animals  (2-2) Lost a close one to LA this week

Players of the Week

Offensive Player of the Week - RB Christian McCaffrey (Cin) Ran for 177 yds and 4 TD’s Looks to take out the Kats this week on the road.

Defense of the Week -  Pittsburgh PB Balls  17 total points, 2 sacks, FR, 2 Ints, 2 TD’s sunk the Scarecrows in Chocolate sauce.

Special Teams Player of the Week - K Brandon Aubrey (LA)  Hit 3 FG’s and 3 xp’s to help calm the Animals.

The Look Ahead to Week 5’s Game of the Week

San Antonio @ South Carolina- The league's annual domestic violence bowl is a must on the football calendar.  The Mexican’ts come into this game the favorite for a change. Can the Scarecrows make the Mexican’ts need a hospital?

The Rewind a look back at Week 4’s Game of the Week

San Antonio at New Whitelandi -  New Whiteland got bitch slapped by San Antonio with 12 4th quarter points causing the Mexican’ts to almost rise to #1 in the power poll for the first time ever this week.

Sep. 28, 2023

Welcome back to the IFFL. Week 3  was action packed and fun. Let’s get to this week’s power rankings.

  1. New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz (3-0) 3 weeks in and a new number one to lose in week 4.
  2. Tabbi’s Kats (2-1) Kats just keep winning.
  3. San Antonio Mexican’ts (2-1)  They didn’t lose any players this week.
  4. Los Angeles Lords (2-1) Joe B better get right soon.
  5. Indy Animals (2-1) Beat Philly like a drum.
  6. South Carolina Scarecrows (2-1) They better watch out, they might just keep winning.
  7. Philadelphia Dark Side (2-1) Lost to Indy and that's something they do alot of, lose to the Animals.

Players of the Week

Offensive Player of the Week - Raheem Mostert (NW) Ran for 142 yds and 4 TD’s this Boiler is chugging.

Defense of the Week
-  Hartford Whalers  21 total points, 9 sacks, FR, 4 Int and a TD led the Whale to a victory.

Special Teams Player of the Week
- Animals K Jason Myers who hit 5 FG’s and 2 xp to help his team defeat the Dark Side.

The Look Ahead to Week 4’s Game of the Week

San Antonio @ New Whiteland - Can the Mexican’ts defeat the last of the undefeated teams this week or will the Chicken Pluckerz be the first team to stay at number one for 2 straight weeks?

The Rewind a look back at Week 3’s Game of the Week

New Whiteland at Cincinnati -  New Whiteland bitch slapped Cincinnati behind 25 points from Tua and Raheem Mostert and guess what 50 was only half of their final total for the week.

 

Sep. 21, 2023

Welcome back to the IFFL. Week 2  was so much fun, we still have some amazing teams that are winless, and a few surprises sitting 2-0. Let’s get to this week’s power rankings.

  1. Los Angeles Lords (2-0) The Lords squeaked out a win against Taipei, lets see if they can make it 3 in a row and kill the curse.
  2. New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz (2-0) This team will go as far as Tua can take them.
  3. Philadelphia Dark Side (2-0) At least this week they didn't lose another QB.
  4. Cincinnati Bagels (2-0)  Blew out Indy on the strength of their defense.
  5. Tequila Sunrise (1-1) That top spot was totally cursed for them.
  6. Tabbi’s Kats (1-1) Moving up one spot are the defending champion Kats. At least Josh Allen was back to normal.
  7. San Antonio Mexican’ts (1-1) Grabbed the victory over Tequila, even though they lost Nick Chubb.

Players of the Week

Offensive Player of the Week - Jared Goff, Philadelphia, 323 yards 3 TD’s, Looking good in a dominant performance against the hated Subs.

Defense of the Week -  Cincinnati Bagels -  The Bagels had 6 sacks, 3 Fumble Recoveries, an INT and 2 TD’s to lead the team back to beat the Animals in the 4th Quarter.

Special Teams Player of the Week - New Whiteland Rookie K Jake Moody, 3 FG’s and 3 XP’s provided the cushion they needed to beat the Ditka’s

The Look Ahead to Week 3’s Game of the Week

New Whiteland at Cincinnati - It’s week 3 and there are only 4 undefeated teams remaining.  This match up is for the top spot in the Central for one more week knowing that the Kats are on their tails.

The Rewind a look back at Week 2’s Game of the Week

Taipei at Los Angeles -  Somehow, someway the Lords put the beat down on Taipei, 8 4th Quarter Blake Grupe points helped survive the 8 points Deshaun Watson got in the 4th quarter for Taipei. The Personality really need to figure out how to beat LA, who they have lost to 3 straight times now.

Sep. 14, 2023

Welcome back to the IFFL Week 1 was very disappointing week for some and for others it was very shocking.

  1. Tequila Sunrise (1-0) Let’s see if the top spot is a curse again this year
  2. Indy Animals (1-0) Dominating win over South Carolina
  3. Los Angeles Lords (1-0) After a wire to wire winning performance against the Kats the Lords make a huge impact on the top 7
  4. Taipei Personality (1-0)  Smashed the Peanut Butter Balls in Pittsburgh
  5. New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz (1-0) Opened at home with a 700 yard performance Chicago didn’t know what hit them.
  6. Philadelphia Dark Side (1-0) Proving people wrong is the best part of this job.
  7. Tabbi’s Kats (0-1) Might be a little harsh but there were some really impressive performances.

Honorable Mention

Cincinnati (1-0) beat a  very good San Antonio team in double OT this week they are on the cusp if they keep winning.

San Antonio (0-1) see above but in reverse. Back it up!

Players of the Week

Offensive Player of the Week - Tua Tagoviola 471 yards and 3 TDs all while leading the team to a huge divisional win.

Defense of the Week -  Pittsburgh without a question this defense with 32 points was the best of the week, too bad the rest of the team blew donkey.

Special Teams Player of the Week - Los Angeles rookie kicker Blake Grupe 3 FG’s and an XP helped cement the Lords victory.

The Look Ahead to Week 2’s Game of the Week

Taipei at Los Angeles -  This matchup of my #3 and 4 teams in the league this week is another early season ballbuster for the Lords and their mission to try to repeat.



Aug. 30, 2023

Welcome back to the 2nd season of the Endowed 7.  To toot my own horn this column correctly picked the winner of last year's super bowl. Let’s see if we can do it again without further adieu.

The Endowed 7 Preseason Edition

  1. Tabbi’s Kats - Last season's champion is back for more having tasted the title game 2 years in a row.
  2. San Antonio Mexican’ts - This passing attack should be the best in the league, let's see how long Anthony Richardson stays at QB1. Also I'm interested to see if they put in a waiver claim on Kyler Murray, that team could be dangerous.
  3. Chicago Fightin’ Ditka’s - This team is going with a young QB and a loaded backfield, Aaron Jones and JK Dobbins will provide the team the long game, while Zeke Elliott will give them a short yardage back they need.
  4. Tequila Sunrise -  The 3 headed monster of Dameon, Javonte, and Bijan with a Lil Cooper Kupp and Sun God receiving corps should bring the Sunrise back to prominence.
  5. Hartford Whalers - The class of the East somehow they will continue to win.
  6. Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls - 2nd best in the East if they can keep Lamar healthy they can go far.
  7. Indy Animals - They look strong, a very balanced team should be able to keep up with the Ditka’s and challenge for 2nd place.

Sorry no honorable mention this week, the rest of the league has some questions to answer first.

Players of the Week

MVP - This award could go to quite a few players, but we will start with saying we believe it's a 2 player race. Josh Allen will either repeat his performances of the last 2 years or Patrick Mahomes will reclaim the title. I said what I said and I'm not ashamed.

Defense of the Year - I feel like this year may just belong to the Los Angeles Lords, the entire team can’t be complete rubbish right?

Special Teams Player of the Year - Hartford’s Evan McPherson might just finally take this spot from Chicago’s Justin Tucker.  Dark Horse candidate is Los Angeles' Blake Grupe who has blown the team away this preseason so far.

The Look Ahead to Week 1’s Game of the Week

Tabbi’s at Los Angeles - Rematch of the Super Bowl, if Los Angeles is going to do anything at all this year they have to come out and hit the Kat’s in the face, which will draw the ire of the Kat’s owner.

Dec. 29, 2022

Welcome to the IFFL! The Semifinal round did not fail to keep us entertained. The Kats defended their home turf while the Whalers failed and lost in the Semi Final round once again.

The Endowed 7 Week Semi Final Edition

  1. Tabbi’s Kats (12-2)
  2. Los Angeles Lords (9-5)
  3. Cincinnati Bagels (10-4)
  4. Hartford Whalers (9-5)
  5. Taipei Personality (9-5)
  6. New Delhi Subs (8-6)
  7. Philadelphia Dark Side (8-6)

The Bagels were good until the onslaught from the Kats in the 3rd quarter, a 22 point effort which saw the Kats go from 13 down to 7 up in the frame and held in the 4th. The Whalers on the other hand didn’t have a chance, the Lords took the lead early and held it throughout.

Players of the Week

Offensive PotW –
Joe Burrow, Los Angeles 380 yards 3 TD’s. Someone is trying to singlehandedly win his team a Super Bowl this season.  Burrow will be under the spotlight next week against the Kats.

Defensive PotW – Tabbi’s Kats – A 16 point 3rd quarter started by the Kats defense’s 6 sacks, 3 INT’s, FR, and TD, proved this team was not as dead as some had said at halftime.

Kicker of the Week – Jason Sanders, Los Angeles 2 FG and 2 XP helped keep the whalers at bay in the 3rd quarter this week.

Game of the Week – Cincinnati @ Tabbi’s – “Now son, let me teach you a lesson,” that is how the story should start if the Kats win the championship.  This team is molded in the image of their owner,  tough as nails with a huge heart. This will be a very difficult team to beat in the Super Bowl.  Burrow and friends better be ready.

The Look Ahead Super Bowl XXVII (27) –

Los Angeles @ Tabbi’s – The game is set, the venue is ready, the teams are in LA, the away team has an advantage of familiar field advantage and its almost game time.  This seasons Super Bowl is bound to be a good one. It’s a replay of a week 4 game in which the Lords prevailed 60-30. The Kats will need to play a lot better than they did in the earlier game. As for the Lords they just need Joe Burrow to stay hot, and the rest should take care of itself. They are built for this game, this is why the immediate future was mortgaged during the season. We will find out the winner of the game at the end of the 4th quarter. The Kats have been the favorite for the entire season. The Lords are one of the hottest teams in the league.  Going out on a limb the winner will be….

Dec. 22, 2022

Welcome to the IFFL! The home teams won the Wild Card games this week, now we move onto the final 4 with a trip to the Superbowl on the line!

The Endowed 7 Week 14 Edition

  1. Tabbi’s Kats (12-2)
  2. Cincinnati Bagels (10-4)
  3. Hartford Whalers (9-5)
  4. Los Angeles Lords (9-5)
  5. Taipei Personality (9-5)
  6. New Delhi Subs (8-6)
  7. Philadelphia Dark Side (8-6)

New Delhi lost 5 straight games to finish the season that has to hurt, Taipei also lost 5 of 6 to finish the season.

Players of the Week

Offensive PotW –Joe Burrow, Los Angeles 208 yards 4 TD’s and a 2 pt conversion, Just like he did in the regular season Burrow carved up the Sub defense. This time he threw all 4 TD’s in the second half, to be precise. I bet the Subs are elated not to play Burrow again.

Defensive PotW – Taipei– I know they lost this week but lets call out how truly amazing this defense has been this season. When they need a stop or sack or interception this defense was there to make sure it happened.

Kicker of the Week –
Jason Sanders, Los Angeles 3 FG and 2 XP leading to a huge 1st quarter lead for the Lords. Could Sanders prove to be the difference maker again this week?

Game of the Week – New Delhi @ Los Angeles – New Delhi played a heck of a game but in the end their defense was not strong enough to stop the Lords, and the offensive weapons in Los Angeles cam out to play.

The Look Ahead Semi Final Games of the Week –


Los Angeles @ Hartford – It’s going to be cold this week, and we mean like really, really cold. This game may come down to rushing attacks as Burrow and Mahomes should perform. So let’s see how well the runners do, LA has Dobbins, Sanders, & Ekeler going against Kamara, Stevenson, and Jacobs for the Whalers. Amazingly this is the first time these teams have met this season.

Cincinnati @ Tabbi’s – Round 3 of this family affair is for all the marbles, and in the words of the Kats Owner, “I love that boy with my whole heart, but I’m going to tan his hide this weekend, its time for the Kats to hold the trophy."  The teams split the regular season meeting, they are pretty evenly matched and it might just come down to the kicker and defensive matchups.

Dec. 15, 2022

Welcome to the IFFL! This season has been wild and crazy (but not 2 crazy guys, as #1 is a woman and #2 is someone who thinks women belong in the kitchen baking him pie) and has now come to an end.  Tequila will draft first in August, and our number 7 team below will draft 8th overall, Wild Card weekend is upon us now lets get back to work and premier the Endowed 7 Playoff Edition.

The Endowed 7 Week 14 Edition

  1. Tabbi’s Kats (12-2)
  2. Cincinnati Bagels (10-4)
  3. Hartford Whalers (9-5)
  4. Los Angeles Lords (9-5)
  5. Taipei Personality (9-5)
  6. New Delhi Subs (8-6)
  7. Philadelphia Dark Side (8-6)

New Delhi has lost 4 straight, Philadelphia lost their QB on the 3rd play of the game or it might be Philly instead of New Delhi in the playoffs today.

Players of the Week

Offensive PotW – Evan Engram, Cincinnati – 162 yards and 2 TD’s, the big lumbering TE scored 24 individual points to pace the Bagels over Taipei in what would become a Wildcard preview.

Defensive PotW – Los Angeles –  TD, 6 sacks and 2 ints gave the Lords the cushion they would need to keep Philadelphia at bay.

Kicker of the Week – Jake Elliott, Phildelphia – In a losing effort Elliott had 2 FG’s and 6 XP’s to help the Dark Side keep it close in the first half against Los Angeles.

Game of the Week – Tabbi’s @ San Antonio – While there were better games on the schedule that meant more, we should always take time out to celebrate the women of the IFFL and discuss the Fine Lady Bowl. For the Kats, Josh Allen came out and made it his mission to whip Dak Prescott into submission which is just what he did. CeeDee Lamb and Nick Chubb were held in check the entire game. Really, the players that did score for SA weren't too exciting.  Allen and Henry are a daunting task in the playoffs for whoever faces them. I kind of feel sorry for the winner of Cincinnati/Taipei, or New Delhi as that will be a real beast of a game in the Litter Box.

The Look Ahead Wild Card Games of the Week –

New Delhi @ Los Angeles –  On paper this game should be very evenly matched, but as we all know the game is not played on paper.  I see Los Angeles coming out and taking an early lead, but the Subs will fight their way back into the game and at the end its anybody’s guess as to who will come out on top. Slightest of edges to Los Angeles at QB.

Taipei @ Cincinnati – This game will be a knock down, drag out game that I have no idea who will win.  With the teams coming off a fresh 86-37 Cincinnati drubbing I expect tempers to be high and emotions to run wild during this game. I think Cincinnati is a little better than Taipei at this point in the season, so I give them the slight edge.

Dec 08, 2022

A jumbled mess heading into the playoffs! The Subs lose again, the Whalers win again. Six teams in a dead heat racing toward the playoffs. Welcome to the IFFL!

The Endowed 7 Week 13 Edition

  1. Tabbi’s Kats (11-2)
  2. Cincinnati Bagels (9-4)
  3. Philadelphia Dark Side (8-5)
  4. Taipei Personality (9-4)
  5. Hartford Whalers (8-5)
  6. Los Angeles Lords (8-5)
  7. New Delhi Subs (8-5)

New Delhi has lost 3 straight, Los Angeles has lost 2 straight, Taipei finally wins again after losing 4 of 5 and Philadelphia and Hartford have won 3 straight, oh and the only one of these teams to clinch the playoffs is Taipei.

Players of the Week

Offensive PotW – Jalen Hurts, South Carolina – 392 yards and 4 TD’s willing his team to try to come back against Hartford and play spoiler, he literally came up 8 yards short.

Defensive PotW – Cincinnati Bagels – 3 Defensive TD’s puts them in the playoffs and confirms the Sunrise will pick number one overall.

Kicker of the Week – Brandon McManus, Tabbi’s – 3 FG’s to help the team to victory #11.

Game of the Week – New Delhi @ Taipei – The foreign language bowl 2022 was pretty tight thru 3 quarters but then in the 4th Taipei blew it open with Brady throwing 2 TD’s in the frame.

The Look Ahead Week 14 Game of the Week –

Tabbi’s @ San Antonio – It's not really crucia,l except for the fact that I get to say Fine Lady Bowl 2022 in print and it will be here forever for anyone to read.  Tabbi’s can win 12 games this year which would tie the league record for number of wins in a season.  San Antonio can compete for one more week then this dismal season will come to an end.

Nov. 27, 2022

Another wild week 11! Where Taipei loses their 3rd straight game and 4 in the last 5. Los Angeles wins again. Philadelphia without a QB beats New Delhi. Welcome to the IFFL!

The Endowed 7 Week 11 Edition

  1. Tabbi’s Kats (9-2)
  2. Los Angeles Lords (8-3)
  3. New Delhi Subs (8-3)
  4. Cincinnati Bagels (7-4)
  5. Taipei Personality (7-4)
  6. Philadelphia Dark Side (6-5)
  7. Hartford Whalers (6-5)

New Delhi’s loss knocks them from the top spot. Tabbi’s and Los Angeles are in the byes. We are inching closer to playoff football.

Players of the Week

Offensive PotW – Joe Burrow, Los Angeles – 360 yards and 4 TD’s helping to secure an unsurmountable lead in the 4th quarter against the upstart Bagels.

Defensive PotW – South Carolina Scarecrows – Allowing only 163 yards, getting 7 sacks and a Fumble Recovery led to 11 points for the Scarecrow defense leading them to their 5th win on the season and keeping playoff hopes, no matter how slim alive.

Kicker of the Week – Tyler Bass, Hartford – 6 FG’s and an XP leading to 19 points lead the way for the Whalers to beat Pittsburgh and stay in contention for the playoffs.

Game of the Week – New Delhi @ Philadelphia – New Delhi came into the game on a high note, but Philadelphia had something up their sleeve, RB Jamal Williams, scoring 3 TD’s on the day and 2 additional TD’s from Amari Cooper made it so that it didn’t matter that the Dark Side had no QB.

The Look Ahead Week 12 Game of the Week –

Thanksgiving Week 2022

Philadelphia @ South Carolina– Can the Scarecrows keep giving their fanbase hope of a postseason run? Can the Dark Side keep moving up and finally surpass the Whalers and move into a playoff position?  Will both teams ultimately fail and miss out on the postseason like they have thought for most of the year? Tune in this week to find out the answers to the most important questions.  Also Jalen Hurts needs to have a great week to move the Scarecrows up the division standings.

Nov. 17, 2022

Another wild week where Taipei barely loses to Los Angeles and Cincinnati, New Delhi, and Tabbi’s win again. Welcome to the IFFL!

The Endowed 7 Week 10 Edition

  1. New Delhi Subs (8-2)
  2. Tabbi’s Kats (8-2)
  3. Los Angeles Lords (7-3)
  4. Cincinnati Bagels (7-3)
  5. Taipei Personality (7-3)
  6. Indy Animals (6-4)
  7. Hartford & Philadelphia Dark Side (5-5)

Hartford and Philadelphia try to grasp on to the 7th spot. Does anyone want it?  

Players of the Week

Offensive PotW – Patrick Mahomes, Hartford – 4 TD’s and 370 yards yielding 27 individual points and along with K Tyler Bass made the Whalers hopes of beating the Subs a near reality.

Defensive PotW – Los Angeles – The Lords defense gets the nod this week for the late sack which proved to be the winning margin.

Kicker of the Week – Cameron Dicker, New Delhi 3 FG’s and an XP was the difference in bringing down the Whalers and keeping their repeat hopes alive.

Game of the Week – Taipei @ Los Angeles – Los Angeles halts a 4-game losing streak to Taipei by grabbing a late sack on QB Tom Brady securing a 37-36 win.

The Look Ahead Week 11 Game of the Week –          
                                  
New Delhi @ Philadelphia – Round 2 this time it may just be the difference between playoffs or staying home.  The Dark Side have made major strides to put themselves in positions to win these games late in the season that have playoff implications.

Nov. 09, 2022

Another wild week where San Antonio wins again. Welcome to the IFFL!

The Endowed 7 Week 9 Edition

  1. New Delhi Subs (7-2)
  2. Tabbi’s Kats (7-2)
  3. Taipei Personality (7-2)
  4. Los Angeles Lords (6-3)
  5. Indy Animals (6-3)
  6. Cincinnati Bagels (6-3)
  7. Philadelphia Dark Side (5-4)

Hartford makes a case to get back in the list but the Dark Side hold on to the 7th spot.

Players of the Week

Offensive PotW – Joe Mixon, New Dellhi – 5 TD’s and 211 yards yielding 36 indiviual points almost singlehandedly gives the Subs a victory over South Carolina.

Defensive PotW – Hartford Whalers – scoring 23 points, which is almost unheard of for a defense, powered the Whalers past the undermanned Fightin’ Ditka’s.

Kicker of the Week –
Ryan Succop, San Antonio 3 FG’s and an XP was the difference in bringing down the IFFL’s best team, by one of the more disappointing teams.

Game of the Week – Cincinnati @ Tabbi’s- This family affair was one for the ages and came down to some 4th quarter play. The Kats got a late score from Isiah Likely to secure the victory.

The Look Ahead Week 10 Game of the Week –

Taipei @ Los Angeles – Round 2. This time it will result in the lead for the division.  Los Angeles has built this roster for this game and although they will be missing Joe Burrow, they still have one of the most potent offense’s in the league led this week by Russell Wilson. Taipei will probably just keep going, having beaten the Lords 4 straight times coming into this game.

Nov. 02, 2022

Another wild week 8! Finally San Antonio win moving into a tie with Tequila for the 1st overall draft choice.  Welcome to the IFFL!

The Endowed 7 Week 9 Edition

  1. Taipei Personality (7-1)
  2. Cincinnati Bagels (6-2)
  3. New Delhi Subs (6-2)
  4. Tabbi’s Kats (6-2)
  5. Los Angeles Lords (5-3)
  6. Indy Animals (5-3)
  7. Philadelphia Dark Side (4-4)

Hartford screwed themselves out of the list by benching Alvin Kamara for some stupid reason, their lineup decisions this season are just plain idiotic.

Players of the Week

Offensive PotW  – Jalen Hurts, South Carolina, 295 yards 4 TD’s and 24 individual points led the Scarecrows to a win over Los Angeles.

Defensive PotW – South Carolina Scarecrows- 4 sacks, 1 FR, TD, back to back weeks for the Scarecrow defense and  2 straight wins make this team dangerous going into the stretch run.

Kicker of the Week – Nick Folk, New Delhi, 5/5 FG’s, and 1/1 extra points make this game his best this season.

Game of the Week – Philadelphia @ Indy- Boy oh boy! The Dark Side put up 92 points last week behind the stellar connection of QB Kyler Murray to WR AJ Brown.  A career game from Tony Pollard didn’t hurt much either

The Look Ahead to Week 9 Game of the Week –


Cincinnati @ Tabbi’s – Round 2, this time it will result in the lead for the division.  Cincinnati is on a good run since McCaffery has stayed healthy this season.  Lets see if Derrick Henry and Josh Allen can carve up the Bagel defense.

Oct. 28, 2022

Another wild one in week 7; where South Carolina, Chicago, and Pittsburgh win to try to get away from the #1 overall pick.  Welcome to the IFFL!

The Endowed 7 Week 8 Edition

  1. Taipei Personality (6-1)
  2. Los Angeles Lords (5-2)
  3. Indy Animals (5-2)
  4. Cincinnati Bagels (5-2)
  5. New Delhi Subs (5-2)
  6. Tabbi’s Kats (5-2)
  7. Hartford Whalers (4-3)

The top 7 stays the same just a little shuffling amongst the leaders.  The Bagels drop to #4 after another loss on the season.  Taipei suffered their first loss but they stay at #1.

Players of the Week


Offensive PotW  – Joe Burrow, Los Angeles, QB Burrow accounted for 48 individual points in the game after torching the Sub defense for 501 yards and 4 TD’s on the day.

Defensive PotW – South Carolina Scarecrows- 5 sacks, 3 FR, 2 Ints, while allowing only 312 yards to the Sunrise mean this team is finally being talked about this season… for something other than losing.

Kicker of the Week – Cairo Santos, Chicago, 4/4 FG’s, and 3/3 extra points make this game his best of the season.

Game of the Week – New Delhi @ Los Angeles- Boy, oh Boy! The Lords put up 83 points last week behind the stellar leadership of QB Joe Burrow and RB Ezekiel Elliot.

The Look Ahead Week 8 Game of the Week –

Philadelphia @ Taipei – The Dark Side are looking for a win after 2 straight losses. They head to Taipei who have to be angry about their first loss of the season. Expect the Personality to be taking their anger out on Philadelphia.

Oct. 05, 2022

The Bagels, Personality, Lords, and Animals all win in Week 4.  Welcome to the IFFL!

The Endowed 7 Week 4 Edition

  1. Taipei Personality (4-0)
  2. Cincinnati Bagels (4-0)
  3. Indy Animals (3-1)
  4. Los Angeles Lords (3-1)
  5. New Delhi Subs (3-1)
  6. Tabbi’s Kats (2-2)
  7. Philadelphia Dark Side (2-2)

The Subs have finally come back to the Endowed 7.  The Bagels drop to #2 after an impressive performance by Taipei.  Los Angeles doubles up the Kats, and Indy beats an injury riddled Tequila.

Players of the Week

Offensive PotW  – TJ Hockenson, Taipei Personality 179 yards and 2 TD’s, a 2pt conversion & 38 individual points sent Taipei screaming towards 100 points this week.

Defensive PotW –  Hartford Whalers 7 sack, 1 fumble recovery, 1 interception returned for a TD.  This is how the Whalers are supposed to play football.

Kicker of the Week – Greg Joseph, Cincinnati Bagels- Hit 5/5 FG attempts to give the Bagels a comfy cushion.

Game of the Week – Tequila at Indy The Animals came out ready to play.  The Sunrise settled in the sky and then lost Javonte Williams, his loss was something that even Cooper Kupp couldn’t help Tequila overcome.  It may be a long season in New Mexico now.

The Look Ahead Week 3 Game of the Week –

Indy at Cincinnati. The Animals travel down I-74 to play the Bagels this weekend. This is our game of the week and its for early control of the Central Division.  Can the Animals put together another awesome performance or will the Bagels continue to play at heights never before achieved.

Sep. 28, 2022

As soon as I think I have this season figured out, The Kats play the Bagels and completely screw everything up.  Welcome to the IFFL!

The Endowed 7 Week 3 Edition

  1. Cincinnati Bagels (3-0)
  2. Taipei Personality (3-0)
  3. Tabbi’s Kats (2-1)
  4. Indy Animals (2-1)
  5. Philadelphia Dark Side (2-1)
  6. Los Angeles Lords (2-1)
  7. Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls (2-1)

The Subs were close to making the list after taking out the Whalers.  The Bagels move up to 1 after their shellacking of the Kats.   Will the top spot be a curse for the Bagels or will the team continue to flourish?

Players of the Week

Offensive PotW  – Lamar Jackson, Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls 325 yards and 5 TD’s for Lamar Propelling the team to a huge victory this week.

Defensive PotW – Taipei Personality, 9 sacks, 1 FR’s, this defensive performance is why the Sunrise are now 1-2 in the West. 

Kicker of the Week – Matt Prater, Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls- Hit 4/4 FG attempts to give the PB Balls an insurmountable lead.

Game of the Week – Cincinnati at Tabbi’s The Kats came out strong against the Bagels, but it was the Bagels closing strength and ground game that ultimately gave them the victory.

The Look Ahead Week 4 Game of the Week


For the 1st time all season this space doesn’t include the Kats. Tequila @ Indy is the game to watch in week 4.  Both teams will be looking to correct course after week 3 losses. The Sunrise need a win to stay in the hunt for the playoffs while the Animals are looking to take the division.

Sep. 22, 2022

Another wild week in the IFFL is in the books, week 2 was just as unpredictable as week 1,

The Endowed 7 Week 2 Edition


1. Tabbi’s Kats (2-0)
2. Indy Animals (2-0)
3. Taipei Personality (2-0)
4. Cincinnati Bagels (2-0)
5. Philadelphia Dark Side (1-1)
6. Los Angeles Lords (1-1)
7. Hartford Whalers (1-1)

The Whalers got cut by the buzzsaw that is the Kats this week and Los Angeles lost a barn burner to Taipei. They will be back though, the same might not be able to be said for Chicago, New Whiteland and San Antonio.

Players of the Week

Offensive PotW – Lamar Jackson, Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls 437 yards and 4 TD’s from Lamar carried the team to victory.

Defensive PotW – Indy Animals, 6 sacks, 2 FR’s, 3 Int’s, a TD and a partridge in a pear tree, is what propelled the Animals to a vital division win over rival Chicago.

Kicker of the Week – Brandon McManus, Tabbi’s Kats- Back-to-back weeks of 10 point games for McManus is the type of consistency the Kats need to bring home the championship.

Game of the Week – Tabbi’s @ Hartford Another great game of the week until the 4th quarter when Josh Allen exploded to lead the Kats to 25 un answered points and an 18 point victory.

The Look Ahead Week 3 Game of the Week –

For an unprecedented 3rd straight week the Kats are in the spotlight, this time against the upstart Bagels who will be trying not to get burned by Josh Allen and Co. If the Bagels have any shot this week, Trevor Lawrence, Christian McCaffery and team have to play the games of their lives this week.

Sep. 18, 2022

Football is back and week 1 of the 2022 IFFL season is in the books and oh, baby, what a week it was!

The Endowed 7 Week 1 Edition

  1. Tabbi’s Kats (1-0)
  2. Philadelphia Dark Side (1-0)
  3. Los Angeles Lords (1-0)
  4. Hartford Whalers (1-0)
  5. Indy Animals (1-0)
  6. Taipei Personality (1-0)
  7. Cincinnati Bagels (1-0)

DO NOT under no circumstances write off the South Carolina Scarecrows. Tequila will be better than advertised as well.

Players of the Week

Offensive PotW  – Patrick Mahomes, Hartford, 365 yards and 5 TD’s gives the Whalers the franchise QB they drafted Lamar Jackson to be but that he failed to develop the traits.

Defensive PotW – Philadelphia Dark Side, 7 sacks, 4 interceptions and a pick 6, and a fumble recovery, not a bad week against Lamar Jackson and the PB Balls offense.

Kicker of the Week – Ryan Succop, San Antonio 4/4 FG and an XP, unfortunately he was all of the offense for the Mexican’ts.

Game of the Week –
New Delhi @ Tabbi’s This proved to be a hell of a matchup, just as the league schedulers predicted when they drew up the schedule.  The Kat's appear ready to take the next step to a League championship.

The Look Ahead to the Week 2 Game of the Week –

This time we are going to Hartford v Tabbi’s.  The Kats have a loaded schedule during the first half of the season, and this is just another challenge to see if they are ready to win it all come January.

Sep. 10, 2022

Memphis, TEN- A new weekly article! In this space I will tell you all what I see looking back on the previous week, who were my players of the week, a look ahead to the next week, and the game of the week.

So without further ado, lets get this column started.

The Endowed 7 Premier edition!

1. Tabbi’s Kats
2. Philadelphia Dark Side
3. Los Angeles Lords
4. Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls
5. South Carolina Scarecrows
6. Hartford Whalers
7. Chicago Fightin’ Ditka’s

The top half of the league as I see it. Its close but it looks like a down year for Tequila and New Delhi. Teams to watch out for are Taipei and Cincinnati.

Players of the Week
Since this is preseason, we will try to predict with terrible accuracy the Offensive Player of the Year, Defense of the Year and the Kicker of the Year.

Offensive MVP –
Got to give all the love here to Josh Allen, the Kats QB is looking to keep going with how he finished the season last year, except this year he plans on winning the Riesbeck trophy and taking it back to Tiskawa.

Defense MVP – I believe this is a 3-team race, between Los Angeles, Philadelphia, and Hartford. Injuries and Gilmore Girls marathons may just be the difference maker here.

Best Kicker – By far this is a 2-horse race between Tequila’s Evan McPherson and Indy’s Justin Tucker.

Lookin’ ahead to Week 1

Game of the Week – New Delhi @ Tabbi’s The fans are getting a barn burner in week 1 and I expect that the league will be trending towards a new champion after this game.

The runners up

Tequila @ Los Angeles – Lords fans this might be your year however your team will have to put up some amazing numbers vs the division rival Sunrise, not to mention get over a huge hump that they haven’t seemed to be able to conquer.

Pittsburgh @ Philadelphia – This might be for the power in the east, getting off to a fast start will be the difference coming in at the end of the season.

Saturday News From the IFFL - 16 Nov. 2024

Welcome back to the weekly IFFL chaos recap, where injuries, game-time decisions, and questionable life choices dominate the headlines. Let's dive into the soap opera that is fantasy football.

Cincinnati fans are cautiously optimistic as Nico Collins will finally suit up in Week 11. After missing several games, Collins is back just in time to help the Bagels try to make an improbable playoff push. When asked about his return, Collins said, “I’m just glad to stop getting those passive-aggressive texts from my fantasy owners.”

Jaylen Warren is officially out, and the Whalers' playoff dreams take another gut punch. Owner Chad Allen commented, “This is fine. Everything’s fine. We’ve got... uh... Tony Pollard and Javonte Williams? Right?!” Expect Hartford fans to stare longingly at old game footage of Warren this weekend.

CeeDee Lamb is a game-time decision for San Antonio’s must-win game against Tequila. Lamb, battling a back injury, said, “I’ll know I’m ready when I can successfully carry this team on my back again.” Owner Tanya Harless was reportedly seen burning sage and doing a rain dance to ensure Lamb plays.

While the rest of Philadelphia’s Dark Side battles for the East, Johnathan Brooks will miss another game for a "mental health day." Sources close to the team report a heated debate between ownership and the RB, with Brooks allegedly saying, “I’m not running unless I can run my own life first.” Meanwhile, Philly owner Avan Beaver muttered, “We’re in the middle of a division race, and my RB is playing yoga guru.”

Good news for the Peanut Butter Balls as Amari Cooper returns to action in Week 11 against Hartford. After being traded back to Pittsburgh, Cooper is ready to remind the league that he’s still a top WR. “I’m home. Let’s do this,” Cooper said. Pittsburgh fans are already planning celebratory peanut butter sculptures.

After what feels like forever, Tee Higgins is back in action against Philadelphia. Taipei owner Andrew Wang said, “It’s a relief to have Higgins back. Now if only the rest of my team could follow suit.” Watch out, Philly; the Personality just got a little more charismatic.

Sam LaPorta is officially sidelined with a shoulder injury, and Tequila fans are not thrilled. “I feel like I’ve been betrayed by my margarita muse,” owner Jeff Dixon quipped. LaPorta was unavailable for comment, probably because his shoulder hurts too much to lift his phone.

Indy will be without Tank Dell in Week 11 due to an ankle injury. Sources say owner Kevin "Q" Ryburn was overheard mumbling, “I thought tanks were supposed to be indestructible.” It’s a big blow to the Animals as they battle to stay atop the Central.

Darnell Mooney is officially on the watch list as a game-time decision due to limited practice this week. Mooney responded, “I’m fine. Probably.” Cincinnati fans are not reassured and have already started organizing Mooney-shaped voodoo dolls in frustration.

Stay tuned, folks! Week 11 promises drama, heartbreak, and possibly a new entry into the “Trade Decisions We’ll All Regret” Hall of Fame.

Philadelphia Acquires WR DeVonta Smith from New Delhi in Deadline Deal - 12 Nov. 2024

In a bold move just before the trade deadline, the Philadelphia Dark Side has added WR DeVonta Smith to their roster in exchange for WR Nick Westbrook-Ikhine and a 2025 sixth-round draft pick, which heads to the New Delhi Subs. The deal underscores Philadelphia’s commitment to making a deep playoff run, while New Delhi continues its strategy of offloading top talent in exchange for future assets.

Philadelphia Owner Avan Beaver didn’t mince words, saying, “We’ve been targeting Smith for weeks, and now we’ve got him. He’s going to add depth and give us another weapon in our push for the championship. Sure, Westbrook-Ikhine is a fine player, but it’s time to give the Philly faithful a WR with some star power.”

New Delhi Owner Pete Shaunki seemed unsurprisingly unfazed by parting with yet another key piece of his team. “DeVonta has been great for us, but we’re looking forward, not backward. And hey, we get a pick in return—it’s all part of building something for 2025. I’ll miss the kid, but with the way things are going, maybe Philly can make better use of him than we did this year,” Shaunki remarked with a characteristic shrug.

DeVonta Smith expressed his excitement about joining a team in serious playoff contention: “Philly’s been on my radar, and it feels great to be headed there. I’m ready to bring the Dark Side a few touchdowns and see where this team can go. Let’s get to work.”

Nick Westbrook-Ikhine, ever the professional, kept things positive: “New Delhi’s going through a lot of changes, and I’m just here to do my part. I know they’ve had a rough season, but I’ll do what I can to help them close things out strong.”

As Philadelphia aims to take over the title race and New Delhi looks toward a full-scale rebuild, this deadline trade seems to reflect both teams’ ambitions. Will DeVonta Smith be the missing piece for the Dark Side? And what exactly is New Delhi hoping to accomplish with all these future picks? Only time will tell if this trade pays off for either franchise.

Tequila and Tabbi’s Kats Swap Under-the-Radar Receivers in Late-Season Shuffle - 12 Nov. 2024

In a quiet yet potentially impactful move, the Tequila Sunrise and Tabbi’s Kats have agreed on a receiver swap, sending WR Khalil Shakir to Tabbi’s in exchange for WR Jauan Jennings. Both receivers have seen modest playing time this season, and the trade aims to bring a fresh perspective to their games as the regular season nears its end.

Tequila Sunrise Owner Jeff Dixon had this to say about the swap: “Shakir’s been solid, but we felt like we needed a different skill set in the mix. Jennings brings a bit more physicality and can do some real damage after the catch. Plus, he’s got that Kats-approved swagger we could use over here in Tequila.”

Tabbi Brewer, owner of Tabbi’s Kats, also weighed in, “Shakir’s got some serious versatility, and we think he’s primed to step up. A few big plays and he’s off and running. Besides, you know it’s getting serious when even I’m making late-season trades. Let’s see what Shakir can bring!”

Jauan Jennings sounded ready for a new challenge, noting, “Tequila’s got a strong lineup, and I’m pumped to fit in where they need me. Sometimes all you need is a change of scenery to break out. I’m ready to go all-in with Sunrise.”

Khalil Shakir was equally upbeat about joining Tabbi’s Kats, saying, “I’m grateful for my time with Tequila, but I’m looking forward to getting a few more snaps and seeing what I can do for the Kats. Let’s make it happen, Tabbi!”

While this may not be the blockbuster of the year, both Tequila and Tabbi’s Kats are hoping this receiver swap will give their teams the edge they need as the playoff race tightens. Only time will tell if Shakir or Jennings can make the highlight reels they’ve been waiting for all season.

Tequila and LA Swap Struggling Backs, Hoping to Revive Their Seasons - 12 Nov. 2024

In a move that seems equal parts desperation and optimism, the Tequila Sunrise and Los Angeles Lords have shaken hands on a running back exchange that sees rookie Blake Corum head to LA in exchange for veteran Gus Edwards. Both backs have had disappointing seasons so far, and this trade is a classic case of “maybe the grass is greener in the other backfield.”

Tequila Sunrise Owner Jeff Dixon acknowledged the challenge with Corum, saying, “Look, Corum’s got potential, but right now we need someone who’s not afraid to hit the line and get us those yards. Edwards may not be flashy, but he’s been around long enough to know what it takes to grind. We’re hoping he can spark something with a fresh start here.”

Over in Los Angeles, Lords Owner Jason Beaver seemed equally eager to take a chance on the rookie. “Sure, Blake’s had his share of setbacks, but he’s young, he’s explosive, and we’re giving him every opportunity to prove himself. If LA is anything, it’s a land of second chances,” Beaver joked. “Or fifth chances, in this case.”

Gus Edwards, known for his no-nonsense approach, sounded ready for his own fresh start. “I’m here to do a job, plain and simple,” Edwards stated. “If Tequila needs me to charge through defenders and get it done, I’m on board. I’ve got nothing to lose and everything to prove.”

Meanwhile, Blake Corum expressed hope for his move to LA, where he’ll play alongside talents like Joe Burrow and Justin Jefferson. “LA is a great stage to finally get things rolling. I know the team has had a tough season, but I’m ready to give them what they need down the stretch,” Corum said with a hint of rookie optimism.

With both teams vying for a spark to close out their seasons, only time will tell if this change of scenery is the recipe for success these backs need—or just another chapter in a challenging season.

Saturday News From the IFFL - 09 Nov. 2024

McCaffrey Watch: On the Field or the Trading Block?

After six agonizing weeks on the bench, Cincinnati RB Christian McCaffrey is set to make his long-awaited return in Week 10. The Bagels’ fanbase can finally exhale, but the celebration may be short-lived. Rumors are swirling that McCaffrey’s return could just be a brief audition for teams interested in acquiring him by Tuesday’s trade deadline. McCaffrey himself was surprisingly coy: “Whether I’m running for the Bagels or running off to another team, I’m just happy to be running again.” Cincy’s management, meanwhile, remains tight-lipped, only saying, “We’ll see.” Is this a heartfelt comeback or just a flashy send-off? The league waits with bated breath.

Taipei Bids Dak Goodbye (Probably Forever)

In a move that stunned precisely zero people, Taipei QB Dak Prescott has opted for surgery, effectively ending his season and, likely, his time in Taipei. Prescott’s journey in Taipei has been a rollercoaster, with mostly downs and… downs. One Taipei fan posted online, “Thank you, Dak, for your service. You’ll always have that one good drive back in Week 3.” Prescott, ever the optimist, commented, “Hey, at least they’re talking about me.” The team is expected to place him on IR and, with that, perhaps onto a one-way flight out of Taipei. Farewell, Dak. We’ll remember… well, we’ll try.

Chris Olave: The Concussion Chronicles

After a brutal second-quarter hit last week, LA WR Chris Olave has officially been ruled out for Week 10, and rumors are circulating that the Lords may decide to keep him out for the rest of the season. One LA insider hinted, “We’re considering what’s best for Chris, and maybe that means he enjoys the season from the comfort of the sidelines.” Olave, meanwhile, didn’t hold back, telling reporters, “If they’re shutting me down, I want my paychecks paid in gold.” Looks like the Lords have more than just a game plan to figure out.

CeeDee Lamb and the Shoulder Saga

In good news for San Antonio, WR CeeDee Lamb will be active this week, despite a lingering shoulder injury. Lamb, when asked about his readiness to play, shrugged (with his good shoulder) and said, “Hey, I’ve played hurt before, but this one’s for the fans. And the standings.” With San Antonio pushing for their first playoff berth, they’re clearly banking on Lamb’s resilience. The team’s head coach added, “What’s a little shoulder pain when you’re this close to the playoffs?”

New Whiteland Woes: Pittman and Robinson Sit Out

NW WR Michael Pittman Jr. (back and finger) and RB Brian Robinson (hamstring) are both out for Week 10, but hopeful to return in Week 11. Pittman Jr. was quoted saying, “I’m doing everything to get back out there… okay, well maybe not everything – I do enjoy a restful Saturday.” Robinson echoed his teammate’s sentiment, “Look, this hamstring isn’t healing itself, but I’m giving it a strong pep talk every morning.” New Whiteland’s strategy this week might be more prayer than playbook.

Mike Evans: The Comeback Countdown

SC WR Mike Evans has circled Week 12 as his likely return date after nursing a hamstring injury. Evans told fans, “I’ll be back before you miss me. Or just as you start to miss me. Timing is everything.” SC is eager to get him back to keep their playoff hopes alive, but until then, they’re just hoping he sticks to light jogging and leaves the sprints to the younger guys.

Nico Collins Returns to the Field

After a six-week hiatus, Cincy WR Nico Collins is finally expected to make his Week 10 return from a hamstring injury. Cincy fans are overjoyed, as are Collins’ fantasy owners who haven’t forgotten him. When asked if he’s 100% ready, Collins said, “Let’s say I’m feeling about… 85% and eager.” The Bagels are crossing their fingers he can stay in one piece, at least until Tuesday’s trade deadline.

Philadelphia’s Trade S.O.S.

Finally, we come to Philadelphia, the team that’s been calling around the league more than a telemarketer during dinner. They’re in the market for a running back, maybe a wide receiver, or basically anyone with two functional legs and hands. “For the love of all that’s holy, just answer them back,” said one league insider. “When Philadelphia can’t get through to someone, guess who gets the call? That’s right, yours truly.” So, if you have a player you don’t need, a first cousin who played high school ball, or just a set of cleats, consider helping Philly out. They’re trying, folks. Really trying.

Philadelphia's Dark Side Swipes London, Chicago Adds Lockett - 07 Nov. 2024

In a move that has left the IFFL scratching its collective head, Philadelphia and Chicago have agreed to a trade that sends Drake London to the City of Brotherly Love in exchange for Tyler Lockett and Philadelphia's prized 4th-round draft choice. Yes, folks, you read that right—4th round.

Chicago owner Shadd Wright announced the move with enthusiasm: “We’re thrilled to bring in Lockett. I mean, sure, he may not be the flashiest name, but you know what he does? He gets solid, consistent yardage. And let’s be honest, Philly’s 4th-round pick has the magic touch of, well, maybe the third round. A real steal.”

Over in Philly, owner Avan Beaver sounded downright giddy. “We’re bringing in London, baby! It’s only fitting he joins the Dark Side. He’s tall, he’s young, and he has potential! Sure, Lockett’s reliable, but London? He’s got youthful mystery. This guy could be the next big thing… once he figures out how to be the next big thing.

Lockett, ever the professional, responded with class: “Well, I guess I’m a Ditka now. I’ve always wondered what it’s like to play for a team that has more rebuilding phases than a LEGO set, so I’m ready to contribute however I can. Maybe I’ll finally have the chance to run some reversed routes or whatever other surprises Chicago has in store.”

Meanwhile, London was ecstatic about the move, saying, “I mean, Philly’s got Hurts slinging touchdowns, so the potential’s there, right? I’m here to add to the drama. Plus, Philly fans? You guys know they keep it spicy. Can’t wait to see what they yell at me from the stands when I drop my first catch!”

The league office offered a restrained comment: “This is certainly… a trade.” One rival owner put it more bluntly, muttering, “It’s the most Philly thing ever—trade for potential while letting go of reliable production and picks. Classic Dark Side gamble.”

While it’s yet to be seen if this trade will bring Philly any closer to championship glory or if Chicago’s acquired piece will prove reliable, one thing’s for sure: neither team will be short on storylines… or head-scratching decisions.

New Delhi Hosts a Bonfire: "Everything Must Go" Roster Overhaul Sale - 07 Nov. 2024

It seems New Delhi owner Pete Shaunki has thrown caution (and his roster) to the wind, as the Subs continue their legendary quest for future picks with yet another massive roster shakeup, affectionately dubbed "The Bonfire." Shaunki spent the week wheeling and dealing, handing out star players to any takers with a pulse—and some decent draft picks, of course. Let’s recap the madness:

Davante Adams Blazes Over to Chicago

Just days after joining the Subs, Davante Adams found himself repacking his bags. Shaunki dealt the veteran wideout to the Chicago Fightin’ Ditkas for WR Courtland Sutton and Chicago's…drumroll… 4th-round pick.

“It’s like when you buy something on Amazon, then realize you really just wanted a cheaper version of it,” explained Shaunki. “Sutton’s great. And who doesn’t love a 4th-round pick?” Adams, however, was a bit mystified. “This is my fourth flight this week,” he said. “I thought I’d get to settle in New Delhi, but hey, Chicago is known for its…you know…traffic. Should be fun.”

Ditkas owner Shadd Wright was ecstatic. “Look, I traded a 4th-rounder for Davante Adams. At this rate, I’ll have the whole Pro Bowl squad by next season. Thanks, New Delhi!”

Trey McBride Swaps Subs for the Pluckerz

Not to be outdone, Trey McBride also packed his bags for the bonfire, heading to New Whiteland in exchange for TE Jonnu Smith and a 3rd-round pick.

“I knew my time here was short-lived,” McBride said while holding his “Welcome to New Delhi” balloon. “It’s been real, but I guess New Whiteland needs my services now.” Smith, who had just finished unpacking, shrugged, saying, “I just got here, but Pete offered me a nice map of the facility. Very classy.”

Kevin Julbert of the Chicken Pluckerz was all smiles. “Hey, I get McBride and keep my main roster mostly intact. Shaunki’s just out here like Oprah: ‘You get a trade! You get a trade!’ We’re all winning.”

Amari Cooper Goes Full Circle Back to Pittsburgh

In perhaps the most poetic trade, Amari Cooper, who had recently graced the Subs’ roster, has returned to his former home with Pittsburgh. In return, New Delhi gets Rico Dowdle and—gasp—a coveted 1st-round draft pick.

“I’m not even going to unpack this time,” Cooper laughed. “Pittsburgh has my old locker ready. They kept my cleats and everything. It’s like I never left.” Pittsburgh owner Matt Howell chimed in, “Honestly, Amari and I are like two magnets. We just keep finding each other. Thanks, Pete—I think?”

In true Shaunki style, the Subs owner commented on the whirlwind of trades: “It’s all about building for the future. Why hold onto star players when you can hold onto potential star players? I’m talking 4th-round, maybe 5th-round future stars.”

One league rival noted, “It’s like Shaunki is hoarding picks in the hope they’ll hatch into the next Davante or Amari. By 2025, he might have a roster full of ‘potential’ and ‘ifs,’ but hey, who am I to judge?”

As the bonfire smoke clears, one thing is certain: no roster in the IFFL is safe from Pete Shaunki’s grand vision of “future picks over present talent.”

Mexican'ts Land Travis Kelce in Bargain Trade with Subs – Who Needs 2025 Anyway? - 07 Nov. 2024

In an IFFL shocker that has left owners everywhere questioning New Delhi's "big picture" strategy, the San Antonio Mexican’ts have acquired superstar tight end Travis Kelce from the New Delhi Subs for…wait for it…a 2025 3rd-round draft pick. Yes, you read that right.

San Antonio owner Tanya Harless, proving she may just be the shrewdest Harless in the family, wasted no time in celebrating her coup. “I thought I was haggling for a new espresso machine with that third-rounder. Didn’t think I’d end up with Travis Kelce,” she laughed. “Honestly, I’m still not sure if it’s real. I’ve checked the paperwork three times, and yep, Kelce is officially a Mexican’t!”

When asked about the trade, Kelce himself sounded equally baffled yet enthusiastic. “Look, I’ll play wherever they want me,” he said, shrugging. “And I hear San Antonio has some pretty incredible BBQ spots, so I’m already looking forward to my first post-game meal. Let’s just hope this time I get more than a season before another random trade kicks me somewhere else.”

As for New Delhi owner Pete Shaunki, the "mastermind" behind the deal, he’s once again collecting future picks like baseball cards. “You can’t put a price on building for the future,” he explained, gazing at a chart labeled ‘2025: The Year of the Subs’. “Some teams want wins now, and some want legacy. I’m going for the latter.”

One anonymous owner commented, “This is like getting a sports car for the price of a go-kart. Either New Delhi has cracked the secret formula of 3rd-round value, or they’re building a whole new strategy on ‘Kelce-less Sundays.’"

Meanwhile, San Antonio fans are thrilled, and Tanya Harless is basking in the glory of pulling off one of the most lopsided trades in IFFL memory. Even her husband, Trevor, South Carolina’s owner, had to admit, “Looks like she’s got the negotiation skills in the family. I just end up with our old players back every other year.”

With Kelce now gearing up to take the field as a Mexican’t, only one question remains: What will New Delhi do with all these future picks? For now, no one knows. But one thing is clear – Tanya Harless just became the MVP of the IFFL trade season.

Aaron Jones Returns to South Carolina in Latest Intra-Divisional Drama! - 07 Nov. 2024

In a trade that has the entire IFFL scratching their heads (or groaning with déjà vu), the South Carolina Scarecrows welcomed back running back Aaron Jones from the New Delhi Subs in exchange for Dameon Pierce and a 2025 2nd-round pick. For Subs owner Pete Shaunki, this marks another attempt to “rebuild through draft picks” after his ambitious collection of selections in 2024 led to… well, let’s just say, “less-than-desirable” results.

When asked about his game plan, Shaunki grinned. “Look, 2024 was a warm-up. You can never have too many 2nd-round picks. It’s all about having options,” he insisted, flipping through what appeared to be a very well-used guide to “Fantasy Rebuilds for Dummies.”

On the Scarecrows’ side, owner Trevor Harless welcomed Jones back with open arms and a slightly exasperated sigh. “We always knew Aaron had a way of boomeranging back to us. It’s like a family reunion every couple of years,” Harless joked. “But this time, we’ve got the playbook ready to go with his name on every other page.”

As for the players, Jones was ecstatic to return to familiar territory. “Honestly, it’s great to be back in Carolina. I can practically navigate the locker room with my eyes closed at this point,” he laughed. “Plus, it’s always good to be wanted…even if that’s again and again.”

Pierce, newly dispatched to the Subs, had a simpler outlook. “They told me it’s a rebuilding team and that draft picks are the future. All I know is, I’ll be scoring on Sundays while they’re busy collecting for 2025,” he said with a shrug.

With the divisional rivalry heating up, it seems both South Carolina and New Delhi are doubling down on their respective strategies: Harless with his “loyalty to old friends” and Shaunki with his “2nd-round stockpile philosophy.” Whether these moves pay off remains to be seen, but one thing’s for sure—the IFFL just got a little more entertaining.

Tequila Sunrise and Hartford Whalers: The Mahomes Comeback Tour Begins! - 06 Nov, 2024

In a shocking deal reminiscent of a tequila-fueled reunion tour, Tequila Sunrise has brought back their former quarterback, Patrick Mahomes, in a blockbuster trade with Hartford. In exchange, the Whalers receive Justin Herbert and a 2025 2nd round pick. And because the Whalers couldn’t resist the art of negotiation, they sweetened the deal by tossing in their 14th-round pick, which Whalers’ owner Chad Allen described as, “the real value piece here.”

When asked for comment, Allen was positively thrilled. “Look, we got them to take our 14th-round pick. I mean, that’s just next-level GM work. It might as well be highway robbery!”

Meanwhile, Tequila’s owner, Jeff Dixon, rolled his eyes and chuckled, “I didn’t even know there was a 14th round until Allen insisted on adding it. But hey, we get Mahomes back, and in Tequila Sunrise colors where he belongs. That’s worth one imaginary draft pick.”

As for the players, Mahomes is thrilled to return to Tequila after his “extended vacation” in Hartford. “They said I was part of their future in Hartford… turns out they meant for a season or two. But it’s all good; Tequila is where I get to work my magic,” Mahomes said with a grin, raising a bottle of—you guessed it—tequila.

Herbert, on the other hand, was a bit more low-key, saying, “I’ve heard a lot about the ‘Hartford way,’ like that whole scoreboard bit where they show Gilmore Girls reruns in the owner’s box. I’m more of a Breaking Bad guy, but hey, it’s a change of pace.”

This deal sets the stage for the Sunrise, who are clearly all-in on the Mahomes comeback, while Hartford is apparently building their own “revolutionary” system one over-valued pick at a time. Will the trade pay off? If nothing else, Tequila and Hartford are keeping the IFFL spicy.

Saturday News from the IFFL: Chaos, Comebacks, and a Few Hurt Feelings - Nov. 02, 2024

Pittsburgh QB Lamar Jackson Returns

Good news for Pittsburgh fans (and fantasy managers holding on by a thread): Lamar Jackson is back at practice and, in true Lamar fashion, isn't mincing words. “There’s no chance I don’t play,” he stated confidently, with the kind of assurance that makes you wonder if he’s already forgotten Pittsburgh’s WR situation.

Speculation: With only two healthy wide receivers on the roster, Jackson might need to channel his inner ironman and start throwing to himself. One concerned fan was overheard saying, “Is Lamar going to pull a Tom Brady and start catching his own passes too?”

SA’s DK Metcalf Out

The San Antonio Mexican’ts will have to make do without DK Metcalf this week. When asked about the impact, owner Tanya Harless sighed, “It’s like losing the remote right before a big game—you’ll survive, but nothing is going to feel right.”

Speculation: Without Metcalf, expect the Mexican’ts to funnel their entire game plan through CeeDee Lamb. Prepare for some epic Lamb highlights—or a lot of desperate passes to the sideline.

Taipei Drama: Tee Higgins MIA, Tyreek Hill Back

Taipei’s receiver room continues to keep fans on their toes. WR Tee Higgins missed practice on Friday, sending everyone into a mild panic. However, Tyreek Hill, the speedster himself, is expected to suit up and cause chaos on the field.

Quote from Hill: “They’ll need GPS to keep up with me. I’m ready.”

Speculation: If Higgins doesn’t make it, Hill might have to run circles around the defense for a full 60 minutes.

New Whiteland’s RB Brian Robinson Questionable

RB Brian Robinson is questionable and not expected to play. Owner Kevin Julbert mumbled something about “needing a miracle” and then promptly started scrolling through waiver wire RBs with a look of desperation usually reserved for last-minute holiday shopping.

South Carolina’s Game-Time Decision at QB

South Carolina’s QB Jordan Love is listed as questionable, with owner Trevor Harless describing him as “a true game-time decision.” Word on the street is he’s expected to start, but in the IFFL, that means anything from “he’ll play every snap” to “he’ll show up to wave at the crowd.”

Quote from Love: “It’s 50/50, but I’m leaning toward playing… unless my hamstring has other plans.”

Speculation: If Love can’t go, South Carolina’s offense might be about as reliable as a Wi-Fi connection during a thunderstorm.

Chicago’s Ezekiel Elliott Inactive Due to Disciplinary Actions

In a plot twist nobody saw coming, Chicago’s Ezekiel Elliott won’t be traveling with the team due to “disciplinary actions.” Details are sketchy, but rumors say he may have tried to organize a team-wide pizza party without permission.

Speculation: Chicago might have to rely on its backup RBs—or, given their current state, the team mascot— to generate some sort of running game.

New Delhi WR Amari Cooper Out (Hurt Feelings?)

Amari Cooper is questionable with what insiders are calling “hurt feelings.” While there’s no word on what triggered it, one source hinted it might be related to a snarky comment from a rival owner. “He’s sensitive, okay?” New Delhi’s Pete Shaunki said, trying to dodge questions.

Hartford’s Puka Nacua to Play with an Injured Knee

Hartford’s Puka Nacua is expected to play through a knee injury. “It’s fine, just a little creaky,” Nacua said, giving a thumbs up and hobbling away. Owner Chad Allen, known for his unique motivational tactics, has promised free snacks for every catch Nacua makes.

Cincinnati’s TE T.J. Hockenson Cleared to Play

The Cincinnati Bagels can breathe a little easier: TE T.J. Hockenson is cleared and ready for Week 9 action. When asked how he felt, Hockenson flexed and declared, “Like a lion in a cage. Let me out.”

Speculation: Cincinnati’s offense might get a much-needed boost if Hockenson can channel this energy into something more than a sideline dance routine.

LA’s Backup QB Drake Maye Cleared

Los Angeles backup QB Drake Maye has cleared the concussion protocol after an unfortunate incident last week where an errant Joe Burrow pass turned into a headshot. “All good now,” Maye said, eyeing Burrow suspiciously.

South Carolina’s TE Dallas Goedert and Taipei’s Tyjae Spears Out

South Carolina’s tight end woes continue as Dallas Goedert is officially out, and Taipei’s backfield won’t see Tyjae Spears this week. If you’re a fan of chaos, this week is shaping up to be one for the ages.

LA and South Carolina Swap WRs in a Bold Mid-Season Move - 31 Oct. 2024

In a surprising mid-season shake-up, the Los Angeles Lords and the South Carolina Scarecrows have agreed to a trade that has already set the IFFL rumor mill ablaze. LA is sending wide receiver George Pickens to South Carolina in exchange for wide receiver Quentin Johnston. This move has left fans scratching their heads, coaches raising their eyebrows, and fantasy football analysts frantically updating their spreadsheets.

Jason Beaver, the colorful owner of the Los Angeles Lords, took to social media to announce the trade with his signature flair. “George Pickens was a dynamic talent, but let’s be real, I needed a new project to stress over,” Beaver tweeted, followed by an ambiguous GIF of a roller coaster. When asked for a more detailed explanation, he replied, “Johnston’s got potential, and who doesn’t love a good plot twist mid-season?”

Trevor Harless, owner of the South Carolina Scarecrows, sounded optimistic yet cautious. “We’re excited to bring Pickens into the fold. I’m convinced he’ll thrive in our system—assuming we figure out what our system is. No pressure, George,” Harless joked during a press conference. He added, “This was a calculated risk. Or maybe just a coin flip. Either way, welcome aboard, George.” George Pickens, upon hearing the news, reportedly said, “Time to swap the palm trees for some cornfields. Let’s get it!” Meanwhile, Quentin Johnston expressed mild confusion, stating, “I guess I’m headed to LA? I better work on my West Coast handshakes.”

For LA, acquiring Quentin Johnston means embracing a younger, high-upside wide receiver who has shown flashes of brilliance when not busy being an enigma on the field. Beaver is known for his love of potential, so Johnston fits the bill perfectly. Johnston fans will be eager to see if he flourishes under the bright lights of LA or fades into the background like an extra in a movie.

On the flip side, South Carolina gains George Pickens, a receiver known for circus catches and the occasional sideline tantrum. Harless is hoping Pickens will bring that spark the Scarecrows need to make a push this season—assuming Pickens doesn’t burn down the locker room with his fiery attitude.

Only time will tell which team will come out on top in this swap. Will Pickens lead South Carolina’s offense to glory, or will he get lost in the shuffle like an unpaid intern? Can Johnston find his stride in Los Angeles, or will he join the long list of almost-was receivers?

Philadelphia Goes All-In (Again), Ships 1st Round Pick to Hartford for Josh Jacobs- 30 Oct. 2024

In a move that has left many IFFL owners shaking their heads, Philadelphia Dark Side owner Avan Beaver is once again ditching his first-round draft pick—this time sending it to the Hartford Whalers in exchange for the services of RB Josh Jacobs and, let’s not forget, Hartford’s prestigious 15th-round draft choice. Yes, that’s right, the Dark Side’s future has been sold…again…for immediate running back help. The "future" is a flexible concept, after all.

This is the third straight year Beaver has parted ways with his first-round pick. In what’s becoming an annual ritual, he’s proven that his approach to the draft could best be summed up as “I’d rather not.” When asked if he’s concerned about not having a first-round pick for nearly the next decade, Beaver shrugged, "First-round picks are for teams that aren’t winning now. I’ve got my sights set on this season—plus, what’s the point of a first-round pick if you don’t use it to make other people jealous?”

The deal comes at a time when Hartford owner Chad Allen seems to be embracing a future-focused approach, stacking high-value picks like he’s in a rebuilding program. “We’re talking premium tanking strategy here,” Allen chuckled. “I get their first-round pick, and only have to add  my 15th rounder. Avan must really love Jacobs—and, well, who am I to stand in the way of true love? But let's be real: next season, Philly will likely call looking to trade my 1st rounder back for a washed-up kicker."

Josh Jacobs, already looking a little shell-shocked at his sudden trade to the Dark Side, put on a brave face. "I mean, it’s a bit jarring to leave a team that’s, you know, somewhat building a future," Jacobs said. "But now I get to be part of Philly's yearly ‘all-in’ scheme. It’s a great feeling when the team gives up everything to get you… for, uh, the rest of the season, at least. Hopefully, I last until Week 10!"

Whispers around the league suggest that owners everywhere are baffled. One anonymous owner (probably from Pittsburgh, because who else) even commented, "Trading your future for a single running back who may or may not improve your playoff odds? That’s a move only Philly could pull off. I’m sure Avan thinks he’s playing chess while the rest of us are just trying to figure out if he’s even playing the same game."

With Jacobs suiting up for Philly’s Dark Side next week, all eyes will be on whether this move can take Beaver’s team to the elusive IFFL championship. And as for that 15th-round pick Hartford managed to keep? Allen plans to draft either "the backup punter from the Patriots" or a “mystery rookie kicker with a cannon of a leg.” After all, that 15th-round pick is practically a steal if you think about it.

For Immediate Release from Commissioner Jeff Dixon’s Desk – The Official IFFL 2024 Trade Deadline Announcement - 27 Oct. 2024

Ladies, Gentlemen, and Football Fanatics,

It’s that magical time of year again—no, not pumpkin spice season or Black Friday shopping marathons. It’s the IFFL 2024 Trade Deadline! Circle the date, mark it in your calendars, and, for some of you, let this be a final reminder to pay that phone bill. On November 12 at 11:59 PM sharp, all trade proposals, swap schemes, and desperate pleas will come to a halt.

In other words, Pete Shaunki, this is your LAST CHANCE to swap out every single player on the New Delhi Subs. The inboxes across the league can barely keep up with your requests for new rosters every other day. But hey, after your season so far, I understand the need for reinvention.

Speaking of Non-Communicative Owners…

Some of you are strangely quiet on the trade front (I’m looking at you, Pittsburgh, New Whiteland, Hartford, and Taipei). Let’s get real here—are you planning to actually field a competitive team or are you just ignoring Pete’s calls? Word has it these owners think leaving voicemails on “do not disturb” will keep them safe from Shaunki’s “wholesale roster replacement” packages. But guys, there’s opportunity here! Who knows, a few players from New Delhi might be the missing pieces for a playoff run (or maybe just a run out of mediocrity). So please, pay that phone bill and pick up the call.

Buyers, Sellers, and Window Shoppers

The line’s clearly been drawn this year. There are a few of you in true “buyer” mode, ready to build that dream lineup and make a push for the trophy. And then there are those “sellers” who’ve already started packing it up and looking at the draft prospects, wondering if the future holds anything other than weeks of existential dread.

Who’s actually going to make a move at the deadline? Let’s face it, some of you are dragging your feet and looking more like you're on a team yard sale than in a trade war. Yet, the right trades could propel someone to greatness—or save a season that’s already teetering on the edge. Tabbi’s Kats and Philly Dark Side, this is your time to keep ahead of the curve. And let’s be honest, San Antonio, are you really going to sit quietly and let the dream fade without a solid deadline push?

Plenty of Deals, Just Not Plenty of Courage

It’s a fantasy tradition—the trades that should happen but probably won’t. For every serious offer on the table, there’s another one lurking in the minds of owners who won’t make the leap. Don’t be shy, folks! IFFL trade history suggests that where there’s a good deal, there’s always the potential for a…let’s call it “not-so-great deal.” And if anyone needs extra encouragement, just remember that at least you aren’t in New Delhi’s position, frantically calling each team looking for anything resembling a functioning roster.

So whether you’re diving into the pool of playoff contenders or scrambling to get something, anything, for a player who’s only putting up bench numbers—now’s the time. November 12 will be here before you know it.

Yours in Trade Frenzy,

Commissioner Jeff Dixon IFFL

Saturday News from the IFFL - 26 Oct. 2024

Philly’s Rookie RB Out – Again, of Course
Philadelphia’s Jonathan Brooks is officially out for the LA game, and it couldn’t come at a worse time. The Dark Side, in case anyone forgot, has never defeated the Lords. "I don’t make the history; I just repeat it," sighed Brooks. Philly owner Avan Beaver noted, “We were really hoping to end the LA curse this week, but without Brooks, we may have to rely on our backup backs…for the fifth time this season.” LA’s Jason Beaver, already smirking, added, “As long as they remember they’re 0-forever, we’ll be just fine.”

Tabbi's RB Likely Playing – Fans Sigh with Relief
Looks like Tabbi's top RB, Derrick Henry, is set to make an appearance this weekend. "I'm ready," Henry grunted, which is the longest statement he’s given all season. Owner Tabbi Brewer is cautiously optimistic, stating, “We’d love to finally put this ‘questionable’ label to rest, but knowing Henry, he’ll probably bulldoze right through it." The Kats need all the help they can get, especially given the brutal schedule ahead.

Dalvin Cook’s Comeback or Final Bow?
Chicago’s Dalvin Cook is reportedly making his season debut this week, hoping to prove he’s not past his prime. “I’m not washed up,” Cook declared, rolling his eyes at every single age-related comment he’s heard this year. Owner Shadd Wright was quick to defend the move: “Cook is as spry as ever, and we’re ready to surprise some folks with this so-called ‘over-the-hill’ back.” We’ll see if Cook brings life to a Chicago squad badly in need of some.

Indy’s Jayden Daniels Trending Toward Playing
Indy fans, hold your breath—Jayden Daniels might be back under center in Week 8. “I’m feeling good, but it’s up to the docs,” Daniels said. Owner  Q iis “cautiously optimistic,” adding, “We’ve got plans for Daniels, but if he takes one wrong hit… well, you get it.” Rumors swirl that if Daniels isn’t 100%, the team might push Tank Bigsby into an even bigger role. Stay tuned!

Cornfield of Honor: South Carolina’s Halftime Extravaganza
South Carolina owner Trevor Harless is going forward with his much-anticipated Cornfield of Honor induction ceremony during halftime of the Domestic Violence Bowl against San Antonio. “We honor greatness and commitment to the team, and yeah, it may not mean anything to anyone else, but that’s okay,” Harless chuckled. The Scarecrows' fans are pumped, but the question remains: will they even notice if their team tanks the second half?

Travis Kelce on the Trade Block, Drama Not Included
New Delhi is reportedly shopping TE Travis Kelce, but it seems the star tight end’s value may be dampened by recent questions. “New Delhi’s been benching him half the season,” one unnamed owner scoffed. “Is he injured? Distracted by Swiftie distractions? I don’t want that stadium circus.” Kelce, however, has a different take: “I can’t help what’s going on around me. I’m here to play, but if a new team thinks they can appreciate me better—let’s go.”

South Carolina RB Jonathan Taylor Ready to Roll
After a brief hiatus, Jonathan Taylor is back in the South Carolina starting lineup, much to the relief of fans who haven’t seen his full potential since the start of the season. “Time to pick up where I left off,” Taylor smirked. With SC’s brutal run game lately, they’re hoping Taylor will be the spark they need. Coach Harless is hopeful: “This is the boost we’ve been waiting for.” Will Taylor be the missing piece in this year’s Domestic Violence Bowl?

New Whiteland WR Michael Pittman Jr. Doubtful
Michael Pittman Jr. may miss Week 8, leaving the Chicken Pluckerz scrambling for viable WR options. Pittman hasn’t commented, but owner Kevin Julbert has made it clear: “If he’s not ready, he’s not ready. Next man up, right?” With New Whiteland’s struggles so far, any setback in the passing game could spell trouble.

Lords Fully Healthy Again, Watch Out
In case anyone thought LA might be faltering, think again. Star WR Chris Olave cleared concussion protocol and is ready for game time, while TE Taysom Hill shrugged off his rib injury and will join the active roster. “I feel great, and I’m ready to show the league what we can do with a full lineup,” Olave said. LA owner Jason Beaver stated confidently, “We’re back at full strength, and that’s bad news for everyone else.”

Hartford Whalers Seek Stability Amid Struggles: Could Mahomes Be on the Move? - 22 Oct. 2024

The Hartford Whalers, once the proud champions of the 2020 IFFL season, are having a rough go of it in 2024. With owner Chad Allen needing what he jokingly calls “a safe space” after each game, the team’s struggles are starting to wear on him. The Whalers, despite having a roster with playoff potential, have found themselves falling short. The biggest culprit? Patrick Mahomes—or, as some fans have started to whisper, “The Artist Formerly Known as Reliable.”

Allen is openly mulling a major move: parting ways with his star quarterback. “Look, Mahomes has given us some amazing moments,” Allen shared, “but if the right offer comes along—a couple of players, maybe a draft pick or two—I’m open to listening.” The Whalers’ brass insists it’s not just a rash reaction to their woes but rather a pragmatic approach to build a consistent future.

Enter Bo Nix, the rookie QB making waves in his JV appearances. “Bo’s got that spark we need,” Allen stated. “He’s a kid who brings excitement to every play, and we need that kind of energy on Sundays.” With Nix showing promise, the team’s front office has to decide: Is it time to bet on youth, or will they double down on the veteran they know?

The truth is, the Whalers have the pieces to be a playoff contender. They have talent at key positions, but without consistency under center, it’s a ship that might not sail straight. “The guys are frustrated, and I don’t blame them,” Allen admitted. “We’ve got a championship-caliber team here, but we need that consistent QB play. Whether it’s Mahomes finding his form again or Bo stepping up, we’ll make it work.”

For now, the Whalers are sending out feelers. Could Mahomes be the piece to set another team’s playoff dreams ablaze? For the right compensation, Allen might just be willing to find out. As they say in the IFFL, the only certainty is that nothing is certain—except that Chad Allen will be pacing the owner’s box, wondering if his future lies in youth or if his veteran star can still steer the ship.

Saturday News From the IFFL!!! - 19 Oct. 2024

Los Angeles Lords: WR Ricky Pearsall Set to Make Debut

Fifty days after being shot, WR Ricky Pearsall is expected to make his debut for the Los Angeles Lords this week. "I’m just grateful to be alive and back on the field. I’ve worked hard to get here," Pearsall said. Coach Jason Beaver added, “We’ve been waiting for this moment. Pearsall’s return adds depth to our receiving corps, and we expect big things.” The Lords will be hoping Pearsall’s return is the spark they need to turn their season around, though some in the league are skeptical of his impact right off the bat.

New Delhi Subs: RB Kenneth Walker Downgraded to Doubtful

Kenneth Walker has been downgraded to doubtful due to an illness. "It’s frustrating, man. I want to be out there with my teammates, but this bug got me," Walker said. New Delhi owner Pete Shaunki commented, "Just another day in paradise for the Subs. We’re cursed this season, but we'll make do.” With Walker’s potential absence, the Subs will have to scramble for a replacement, likely relying more on Kyren Williams, who has had a strong start to the season.

South Carolina Scarecrows: WR Mike Evans a Game-Time Decision

Mike Evans, dealing with a hamstring injury, is a game-time decision for the South Carolina Scarecrows. “I’ll give it my best shot, but we have to be smart,” Evans remarked. Meanwhile, Jonathan Taylor and Dallas Goedert are officially out with ankle injuries. “Losing JT and Dallas hurts, but we’ve got depth,” said owner Trevor Harless. “Or so I tell myself at night when the tears come.” If Evans sits, the Scarecrows’ chances against Tabbi’s Kats look even slimmer.

Celebrity Sighting: Donald Trump to Attend Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls vs. Taipei Personality

In a surprising twist, presidential candidate Donald Trump is slated to attend the Pittsburgh vs. Taipei game as a guest of a suiteholder. “Great game, great people. I love fantasy football,” Trump reportedly said. An unnamed source revealed, “We’re expecting mixed reactions, but it’s Pittsburgh, so it should be fun.” The Peanut Butter Balls’ owner Matt Howell was unavailable for comment, likely preparing security for the crowd. Will Trump’s presence motivate Pittsburgh, or is it just another distraction?

Cincinnati Bagels: TE T.J. Hockenson Downgraded to Out

Bad news for Cincinnati as TE T.J. Hockenson has been officially ruled out. “It’s tough. We were banking on him this week,” said Cincinnati owner Les Paul Couch. Hockenson himself stated, “I hate missing time, but I have to focus on recovery.” Cincinnati will need to adjust its game plan quickly, and this could be a prime opportunity for Evan Engram to shine.

San Antonio Mexican'ts: RB Nick Chubb Activated for LA Game

Good news for San Antonio as star RB Nick Chubb has been activated and is ready to go against Los Angeles. “I’m back, and I’m hungry,” Chubb declared, looking determined. Tanya Harless, owner of the Mexican’ts, commented, “We need this win, and having Nick back is huge. LA better watch out.” Chubb’s return significantly boosts San Antonio’s chances as they try to keep pace in the competitive Western Division.

Indy Animals: WR Marvin Harrison Jr. Cleared Concussion Protocol

WR Marvin Harrison Jr. has cleared the concussion protocol and is expected to play for the Indy Animals. "Feeling good and ready to get back out there," Harrison said. Indy’s owner, Kevin ‘Q’ Ryburn, noted, “It’s a relief to have Marvin back; he’s a game-changer for us.” With Harrison healthy, Indy looks to continue its push at the top of the Central Division alongside Tabbi’s Kats.

Taipei Personality: WR Malik Nabers and RB James Cook to Play; RB Ray Davis Questionable

Taipei received a boost with WR Malik Nabers clearing concussion protocol and RB James Cook declaring his availability for this week’s game. “I’m good to go, and I’m pumped to help the team,” Nabers said. Cook echoed, “Ready to put in work.” However, RB Ray Davis remains questionable. Owner Andrew Wang commented, “We’ve had a rough few weeks with injuries, but we’re hoping these returns will give us an edge against Pittsburgh.” With key pieces back, Taipei looks poised for a competitive showdown.

New Whiteland and New Delhi Strike a Deal Amid Controversy - 18 Oct. 2024

In a blockbuster trade announcement, the New Delhi Subs and New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz have once again shaken up the IFFL landscape. The deal sends QB Daniel Jones and WR Davante Adams from New Whiteland to New Delhi in exchange for QB Kirk Cousins and the Subs’ 3rd round draft pick. This move marks a significant shakeup for both teams, but it hasn’t come without its fair share of controversy.

This isn’t the first time Adams has been involved in a trade between these two teams. In 2023, New Delhi shipped Adams to New Whiteland in a deal that had everyone talking. Now, he finds himself back in a Subs uniform, leaving many around the league questioning the legitimacy of the transactions. “I mean, is this Madden or the IFFL?” quipped one unnamed owner. “They just keep passing the same players back and forth like we’re not paying attention.”

Another anonymous IFFL owner didn’t hold back. “This is the most obvious case of collusion I’ve seen in years. Are we supposed to believe that New Whiteland suddenly needs Cousins, and Adams just ‘happens’ to be on the market again? It’s a joke. Someone needs to investigate this.”

Subs owner Pete Shaunki defended the move, claiming it was the right choice to revitalize his struggling 1-5 squad. “Look, we needed a spark. Daniel Jones offers us mobility at the QB position that Cousins just doesn’t. And bringing back a guy like Davante? He’s a playmaker, plain and simple. We’re excited.”

When asked about the optics of the trade, Shaunki shrugged. “People will talk, but we’re trying to win games here. We’re not interested in conspiracy theories.”

Davante Adams, who was just starting to settle into his role with the Chicken Pluckerz, expressed his surprise at the move. “I mean, I thought I was set with New Whiteland, but I guess it’s business as usual. At the end of the day, I just want to play and win. If New Delhi believes in me, I’m all in.”

Meanwhile, New Whiteland owner Kevin Julbert pushed back against accusations of collusion. “We’re just looking for what fits best for our team,” he said. “Kirk brings a veteran presence, and we need a steady hand at QB. The 3rd round pick helps us build for the future. It’s that simple.”

Julbert’s explanation did little to quell the outrage among some IFFL owners. “They’re either the worst GMs in the league or they’re in on something together,” one unnamed source fumed. “It’s insulting how blatant this is.”

Daniel Jones, who has struggled so far this season, seemed optimistic about the trade. “I think a fresh start will be good for me. New Delhi has a lot of talent, and I’m looking forward to working with the guys.”

Kirk Cousins, meanwhile, remained professional but seemed puzzled by the trade. “I didn’t see it coming, honestly. But I’m excited to play for New Whiteland and hopefully turn things around for them.”

The trade has already sparked rumors that the league office might look into the transaction. “We’ll be reviewing all aspects of this trade to ensure its fairness and adherence to league rules,” said a spokesperson for the IFFL.

Unnamed owners have voiced their dissatisfaction with the IFFL’s handling of these recurring trades between New Delhi and New Whiteland. “What’s it going to take for someone to step in and stop these two from bending the rules? This is starting to look like an inside job,” one owner claimed.

As the dust settles, one thing is clear: this trade, legitimate or not, has ruffled feathers around the league. Whether it will help New Delhi turn their season around remains to be seen, but with the scrutiny already mounting, the pressure is on both teams to prove this deal wasn’t just another case of “friend favors.”

New Delhi Subs Send James Conner to Pittsburgh for Amari Cooper - 18 Oct. 2024

In yet another attempt to breathe life into their ailing roster, the New Delhi Subs have shipped off RB James Conner (currently sidelined with an ankle injury) to the Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls in exchange for WR Amari Cooper. Now, on paper, this move might seem like a sensible adjustment for the 1-5 Subs, but let’s face it—does it really change anything?

Subs owner Pete Shaunki expressed some optimism despite the trade being, well, a band-aid on a broken leg. “We wish James all the best as he heads to Pittsburgh. He’s been a warrior for us, but with the injury, it was time to shake things up. We’re excited to welcome Amari and hope he can bring some stability to our receiving corps.”

Meanwhile, Pittsburgh owner Matt Howell appeared quite pleased with the swap. “James Conner is a fighter, and we’re looking forward to having him on our squad once he’s healthy. Amari was great for us, but sometimes you have to roll the dice.”

While the move adds another notable name to New Delhi’s receiving corps, one has to wonder if bringing in a WR whose inconsistency is well-documented is the answer. Cooper has his moments, but how many of those will translate into wins for a team that’s already struggling to piece together anything resembling momentum?

At the end of the day, it feels like another lateral move for the Subs, who seem to be throwing darts at the board in hopes something sticks. Whether this trade will actually help them salvage their season remains to be seen—though history suggests otherwise.

Hartford and Cincinnati's Trade "Masterclass" - 17 Oct. 2024

In a move that has the IFFL scratching their heads and raising their eyebrows, the Hartford Whalers have traded injured WR Nico Collins to the Cincinnati Bagels in exchange for RB Tony Pollard. Yes, you read that right—Hartford just shipped off a guy with a bum hamstring for one of the league’s productive backs. Who’s the real winner here? Well, it depends on who you ask.

Hartford owner Chad Allen was quick to address the media with a grin: “We’re sad to see Nico go, but, you know, injuries are a part of the game. We appreciate his service to the team—both in the games he played and the time he spent rehabbing on our dime. In exchange, we’re thrilled to welcome Tony Pollard to the team, and we promise to use him like Cincinnati should have: effectively.”

Les Paul Couch, owner of the Cincinnati Bagels, took a more optimistic tone, clearly trying to justify the transaction. “Look, Nico’s a talented player—when he’s healthy. We’re playing the long game here. Sure, he’s got a hamstring injury, but who doesn’t? We believe in his potential and expect him to make an impact as soon as he, you know, can run again.”

Hartford’s social media team posted a heartfelt farewell video for Collins, featuring slow-motion highlights of his “best” moments—which mostly included sitting on the sideline, stretching with trainers, and catching passes from the JUGS machine. The caption read: “Thank you, Nico! Good luck with your recovery...and with Cincinnati!”

Meanwhile, Pollard’s arrival in Hartford was met with enthusiasm, as Whalers fans took to Twitter, jokingly calling it “the steal of the century” and “a gift from the IFFL gods.” One fan posted, “I’m not sure who’s running the Bagels’ front office, but we should send them a fruit basket for this one!”

The only question now: will Nico Collins actually see the field this season, or has Cincinnati just traded a perfectly good running back for a future slot on the IR? Time will tell. Stay classy Hartford, stay classy.


Trevor Harless Inducts Himself into the South Carolina Scarecrows’ “Cornfield of Honor”- 26 Sep. 2024

Charleston, SC - In a truly historic, self-proclaimed moment of greatness, Trevor Harless, long-time owner of the South Carolina Scarecrows, will induct none other than himself into the prestigious “Cornfield of Honor” during Week 8 of the IFFL season. Harless will now stand proudly alongside Scarecrows’ legends like Peyton Manning, Marvin Harrison, Edgerrin James, and the esteemed Marion Barber III, all of whom were reportedly thrilled by the owner’s entry.

“It’s about time,” Harless said, adjusting a sash that read “Greatest of All Time” as he stood in a field of literal corn stalks, hoisting a golden scarecrow trophy above his head. “Look at what I’ve done. Two championships, countless trades, and absolutely no one can match my genius on draft day. I’m the Peyton Manning of owners, but better. This is the honor I deserve.”

When asked about inducting himself, Harless added, “Who else was going to do it? Certainly not these other owners. I had to take matters into my own hands — much like I do with my team every week.”

Reaction from the Cornfield Legends

Peyton Manning, who was inducted into the Cornfield of Honor years ago after winning Harless his first IFFL title, seemed unsure of how to react. “I’ve been in some awkward situations before,” Manning said, “but watching Trevor give himself a trophy in a cornfield takes the cake. Still, the guy does have a couple of rings, so maybe he’s onto something… or maybe it’s the corn talking.”

Marvin Harrison, another Scarecrows legend, was a bit more cryptic. “Trevor is… certainly something. He never dropped a pass. Mainly because he never threw one,” Harrison said, adding, “I mean, what’s a Cornfield of Honor without a little self-congratulation?”

Even the always-reliable Edgerrin James chimed in from somewhere within the rows of corn. “Look, Harless is good,” James said, visibly confused about why he was standing in a cornfield, “but I never inducted myself into anything, and I ran for 10,000 yards. But hey, whatever floats his tractor.”

League Reactions to the Self-Induction

Of course, the rest of the IFFL owners couldn’t let this go without commentary.

Pete Shaunki, owner of the New Delhi Subs, was less than impressed. “Is this real? I mean, Trevor already acts like he’s better than the rest of us. He didn’t need a whole ceremony to prove it,” Shaunki said, rolling his eyes. “I bet he’s building a corn-themed trophy case next. At this point, nothing surprises me.”

Meanwhile, Jason Beaver, owner of the Los Angeles Lords, took a more sarcastic approach. “Oh, wow, congratulations to Trevor Harless for being… Trevor Harless? I didn’t know self-induction was an option. Next thing you know, I’ll be inducting myself into the ‘Hall of Lords’ for surviving three weeks without a win.”

But perhaps the most biting critique came from Jeff Dixon, owner of the Tequila Sunrise. “Trevor loves himself more than his team loves touchdowns. I mean, inducting yourself? That’s next-level ego. Can I induct myself into the ‘Ranch of Respect’ while we’re at it?”

The Ceremony

The ceremony itself was a spectacle. A custom-built stage (made of corn, naturally) was set up on Harless’ family farm, where league owners and his Cornfield of Honor guests were invited to bask in his self-perceived glory. An “Emperor of the Scarecrows” robe, complete with corn stalk embroidery, was presented to Harless, who graciously accepted it while nodding solemnly at his reflection in the Cornfield Hall’s freshly polished mirror.

Marion Barber III, the often-overlooked but always reliable Scarecrow legend, gave Harless a heartfelt, if slightly bewildered nod. “He deserves it, I guess,” Barber mumbled. “This corn is nice, though.”

Harless on His Greatness

When asked to summarize why he thought this honor was necessary, Harless didn’t hold back. “Look at the players I’ve drafted, the trades I’ve made. I’ve inspired the next generation of owners with my greatness,” Harless said. “And now, my legacy is literally set in corn. My competitors can only dream of reaching my level.”

As the sun set over the cornfield, Harless looked out, his golden scarecrow trophy glimmering in the twilight. “This is what football is all about,” he said quietly. “Honoring the best, by the best.”

As for the rest of the IFFL owners, well, they’re just waiting to see what sort of ceremony Trevor comes up with for himself next year.

Week 3 IFFL Showdowns: Undefeated Teams Battle for Bragging Rights! - 21 Sep. 2024

As we head into Week 3 of the IFFL, two matchups have risen to the top of the power rankings, featuring the last remaining undefeated teams. The Hartford Whalers travel to face the South Carolina Scarecrows, while the Tequila Sunrise head to Indy to take on the Animals. The trash talk is heating up, injuries are lingering, and egos are flaring. This is must-watch football.

Hartford Whalers (2-0) @ South Carolina Scarecrows (2-0)

The Whalers, fresh off an impressive 2-0 start, are looking to keep their momentum rolling as they face the always dangerous South Carolina Scarecrows. Patrick Mahomes, the Whalers' golden boy, has been electric so far this season, but his love for Hartford might be growing a little too strong.

"I love playing in Hartford," Mahomes said in a mid-week press conference. "Honestly, I could see myself spending the rest of my career here. I mean, who wouldn’t want to play in front of fans who care more about Gilmore Girls reruns on the jumbotron than the game itself?"

Whalers owner Allen, never one to shy away from drama, chimed in with his own unique perspective.

“We know South Carolina's got a scary lineup,” Allen said while sending a bitmoji of him slapping a fish out of South Carolina owner Trevor Harless's hand. “But we’ve got Patrick freaking Mahomes! We’ll be binge-watching season 5 of Gilmore Girls while Mahomes is throwing TDs in between commercial breaks.”

South Carolina, meanwhile, remains confident despite dealing with an injury to star quarterback Jordan Love. Love, who’s been the heart of the Scarecrows’ offense, might miss another game, but he’s optimistic about returning sooner rather than later.

“I’m doing everything I can to get back on the field,” said Love, who appeared on Zoom with his knee in a brace while eating tofu chicken nuggets. “If Trevor can find a way to suit me up, I’ll be there. If not… well, I’ll be playing Madden and imagining I’m still out there. Either way, Hartford’s going down.”

Harless, keeping it cool, shrugged off concerns about his quarterback situation.

"I don’t need a fully healthy Love to beat Allen,” Harless quipped. “We’re the Scarecrows, not the Cuddly Bears. Our defense will handle Mahomes while our offense chews up that Whalers secondary like Gilmore Girls episodes during a Hartford timeout.

Tequila Sunrise (2-0) @ Indy Animals (2-0)

The other undefeated clash features the Tequila Sunrise traveling to face the Indy Animals, where tensions between quarterbacks are at an all-time high. Tequila has been a surprise contender this season, led by Justin Herbert, who’s been lighting up defenses like a summer block party. Meanwhile, Indy’s owner Kevin ‘Q’ Ryburn is facing some drama in his QB room as Trevor Lawrence—who’s not even starting—has been airing out his grievances.

"Jayden Daniels? Really?" Lawrence said in an impromptu Twitter rant. "I’m over here with the best hair in the league, and I’m sitting behind Jayden Daniels? No offense, Jayden, but I’m better than you and I’ll prove it soon.”

Ryburn, however, had a different take.

"Look, I get it," said Ryburn while adjusting his Bears cap. "Trevor’s got the flow, but we’re here to win games, not hair contests. Daniels is the guy right now because he’s mobile, smart, and less concerned about shampoo commercials.”

Tequila Sunrise owner Jeff Dixon is laser-focused on keeping his team rolling, but even he couldn’t resist throwing shade at Indy’s QB controversy.

“Hey, as long as Herbert’s throwing dimes, I don’t care what Indy’s doing over there,” Dixon said while sipping a margarita on his porch. “But if Lawrence wants to go full ‘Real Housewives of the IFFL’ drama, I’ll be watching.”

Predictions & Bold Claims

As the undefeated teams face off, it’s clear that these matchups are bigger than just football—they’re personal.

Harless boldly claimed: “The Whalers are just a side story, like one of those Gilmore Girls episodes where nothing really happens but everyone acts like it's a big deal. We’re the main event.”

Allen fired back, saying, “Hartford’s been running this league longer than some of these guys have been tying their shoes. South Carolina better bring their A-game—or more accurately, their A quarterback—if they want to hang with us.”

Indy’s Ryburn kept it simple when asked about the Tequila game: "We’re 2-0 for a reason. Bring on the Sunrise."

Dixon closed with a toast: "To staying undefeated and making Indy wish they’d never let Lawrence watch from the bench.”

Two matchups, four teams, and only two will keep their perfect records intact after Week 3. Grab your popcorn, folks—it’s going to be a wild ride!


CeeDee Lamb Misses Practice with Ankle Injury, Promises to Be “Good to Go” - 18 Sep. 2024

San Antonio, TX – In what can only be described as a minor “ankle-tastrophe,” San Antonio Mexican’ts star wide receiver CeeDee Lamb was absent from practice today after rolling his ankle during a team workout. The injury, while not deemed serious, has sparked mild panic among fantasy football managers and local fans alike.

Lamb, however, quickly downplayed the situation. “Look, I might have rolled it stepping off the treadmill, but I’m good. Ain’t no way I’m missing any game action,” Lamb said with a grin. “I’ll be there Sunday, doing what I do – catching passes and scoring touchdowns.”

Mexican’ts owner Tanya Harless took a more measured approach, issuing a statement that could best be described as cautiously optimistic. “We’re taking it day by day, but we expect CeeDee to be just fine. He’s tough, and if anyone can bounce back from a little ankle twist, it’s him. We’ve got plenty of ice, and he’s already got a comfy seat on the bench – for now.”

Despite the minor setback, all signs point to Lamb taking the field this weekend as the Mexican’ts look to continue their winning ways. “If I can run my mouth, I can run routes,” Lamb added with a wink before hobbling off the interview stage with a slight limp, but plenty of swagger.


Chaos in Taipei: Tyreek Hill Arrested En Route to Game, Still Makes it to Stadium Faster Than a Cab - 08 Sep. 2024

Taipei, Taiwan – In a turn of events as swift and unpredictable as Tyreek Hill himself, the Taipei Personality’s star wide receiver was arrested this morning on his way to the stadium, leaving fans, coaches, and local traffic cops equally stunned. Hill, renowned for turning defenders into bewildered spectators, took his talents to the streets in an attempt to beat rush hour traffic — and apparently, a few red lights, too.

Hill was spotted weaving through downtown Taipei at breakneck speeds, prompting a high-speed chase that played out like the world’s least efficient game of tag. Authorities reported that Hill was clocked at speeds “well beyond legal limits,” with some officers even admitting they struggled to keep up. “We’re used to chasing people on mopeds,” said one breathless officer. “But this guy? He made us look like we were standing still.”

Hill’s justification for the reckless driving? “Man, I’m just trying to get to work on time. You know what it’s like out here? These streets are more crowded than a Black Friday sale!” Hill shouted, sporting his full game gear as officers handcuffed him on the hood of his Maserati. “I was open, but I guess I wasn’t free.”

The arrest threw the Taipei Personality’s game preparations into chaos, as owner Andrew Wang scrambled to figure out how to replace Hill’s blazing speed and game-breaking ability with, well, anyone else on the roster.

“First of all, we don’t have anyone else who even knows how to run that fast, let alone evade an entire defensive unit—or in this case, the Taipei Police Department,” Wang said, visibly flustered as he shuffled through emergency plays on his tablet. “We were already down our top cornerback, and now this? I didn’t sign up for a live-action ‘Grand Theft Auto’ simulator before kickoff!”

Hill, who was released on bail with just minutes to spare before the game, strutted into the stadium still wearing the ankle monitor and a grin that said, “Yeah, I did that.” Taipei fans roared in approval, proving that even a brush with the law couldn’t slow down their Cheetah.

“It’s all good, y’all. I got my reps in dodging those cops; now I’m ready to dodge some defenders,” Hill joked to reporters while slipping on his gloves and already scanning the field like a kid eyeing the last slice of pizza. “Hey, it’s just another day in the life of Tyreek. Sometimes you gotta run from DBs, sometimes from the cops. Either way, I’m getting to the end zone.”

Heartbreak in Week One: Scarecrows Lose Love, Gain Carr, and Possibly a New QB Hunt - 08 Sep. 2024

New Whiteland, IN – It was supposed to be a triumphant season opener for the South Carolina Scarecrows, but instead, the team and its fans are nursing broken hearts after star quarterback Jordan Love suffered an apparent lower leg injury at the end of the first quarter against the New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz. What began as a hopeful march toward victory quickly turned into a limp of despair, with the Scarecrows leading 12-6 after 1 quarter.

Love was able to limp off the field with help following the controversial hit that left Scarecrows Owner Trevor Harless seething in the owners box.

“That was the dirtiest hit I’ve seen since my wife’s Mexican’ts jersey made it into the wash with my lucky socks,” Harless fumed, wiping sweat from his brow in his suite that somehow smelled faintly of rage and hot dogs. “You call that football? No, that’s WWE with helmets. I’ve already got calls out to every QB in this league. If we need to trade, we’ll trade. Hell, I’ll sign Johnny Manziel if it means we don’t have to deal with that kind of nonsense again.”

With Love out 260 yards and 2 TD’s, Derek Carr, who is expected to start going forward, is not most teams first choice even though he is the reigning IFFL Super Bowl winning QB.

“Listen, I didn’t come here to watch the fourth season of ‘Lost’ happen in real life,” Carr said, throwing his hands up in disbelief. “But here we are, and I’m ready to step up. We’ve got a lot of season left and plenty of chicken to pluck.”

Love, ever the optimist even from the back of a medical cart, was visibly emotional but offered some words of hope between bites of the game’s half-time orange slices.

“Man, I’ve been hit harder by my little sister in backyard ball,” Love said, attempting to chuckle through obvious pain. “But this one’s got me good. I just felt something pop like an overripe grape, and I knew it wasn’t gonna be good. I’ve got faith in Derek and the guys, though. We’ll bounce back from this, even if I’m bouncing on one leg for a while.”

However, if Harless’ in-game tirade is any indication, the Scarecrows won’t be staying put at the QB position for long. Harless hinted that the team is exploring options to bring in another quarterback, potentially shaking up the roster in a bid to salvage what’s left of a season that already feels like it’s hanging by a thread.

2024 Season Outlook: Los Angeles Lords - 06 Sep. 2024

2024 Outlook for the Lords: Defending Champions Eye Repeat

Los Angeles, CA - As the reigning champions of the Indiana Fantasy Football League (IFFL), the Los Angeles Lords enter the 2024 season with the weight of expectations and the excitement of building on last year's success. With a roster packed with talent, strategic trades, and a mix of proven veterans and potential breakout stars, the Lords are poised to make another deep playoff run. Here’s a closer look at what to expect from the defending champs this season.

The Lords have solidified their quarterback position with Joe Burrow, who continues to be the cornerstone of their offense. Burrow’s connection with star wideouts Justin Jefferson and Ja’Marr Chase is a nightmare for opposing defenses, and his calm demeanor under pressure makes him one of the league's top  quarterbacks.

While the Lords lack a clear-cut RB1, they boast a committee of running backs capable of producing solid fantasy points. Gus Edwards is expected to be the most reliable option, particularly in goal-line situations. Antonio Gibson, though inconsistent in the past, has the dual-threat ability to rack up yards both on the ground and through the air. Khalil Herbert showed flashes last season and could emerge as a key contributor if given the opportunity.

The Lords’ wide receiver corps is the envy of the league, headlined by the dynamic duo of Justin Jefferson and Ja’Marr Chase. Jefferson, coming off an injury plagued season, is a target magnet and the focal point of the Lords passing game. Chase, acquired via a blockbuster trade in 2023, brings elite playmaking ability and a strong rapport with Joe Burrow.

George Pickens, acquired in another strategic trade, offers a physical presence and red-zone threat, adding another layer of danger to the Lords’ passing attack. Jameson Williams, a speedster with big-play potential, and rookie Ricky Pearsall provide depth and upside, giving the Lords one of the most formidable wide receiver groups in the IFFL.

The Los Angeles Lords have all the pieces in place for another deep playoff run. While the competition will be fierce, the combination of star power, depth, and strategic foresight makes the Lords a strong favorite to hoist the Donnie Riesbeck Memorial Trophy once again in 2024.

2024 Season Outlook: Cincinnati Bagels - 05 Sep. 2024

Cincinnati Bagels Championship Run; Take 2

Cincinnati, OH - After a historic 2023 season, the Cincinnati Bagels are primed for a championship run in 2024. Finishing with a 10-4 record in 2023 and falling just short in the IFFL Super Bowl, the Bagels are now eyeing nothing less than the ultimate prize. With a roster stacked with elite talent and a proven track record, the path to the title has never been clearer—or more critical.

The Bagels have a solid foundation at quarterback with C.J. Stroud, who has shown he's a franchise cornerstone, and Sam Darnold, a capable backup. Stroud’s performance will be crucial, as his development into a top-tier QB could be the difference between victory and defeat.

The backfield is one of the strongest in the league. Christian McCaffrey, who is protected, is a game-changer with his dual-threat ability. He’s complemented by Breece Hall, another protected back who has shown great promise. David Montgomery and Tony Pollard round out a deep and versatile RB corps. This quartet provides both reliability and explosiveness, making the Bagels’ ground game formidable.

The receiving corps is brimming with talent. Jaylen Waddle, a dynamic playmaker, and Jordan Addison, a promising rookie, form a potent 1-2 punch. Veteran Adam Thielen brings experience and reliability, while Gabriel Davis and Darnell Mooney offer additional depth. Odell Beckham Jr., though recovering from injuries, could be the wildcard who adds an extra layer of unpredictability and excitement.

The Bagels’ 2023 season was a testament to their potential, with a memorable Super Bowl appearance where they ultimately fell short to the Los Angeles Lords. The team’s high-scoring offense and robust defense will be tested again this season, and any shortcomings from last year must be addressed. The primary goal for 2024 is clear: win the championship.

With a roster brimming with star power and depth, the Bagels are well-equipped for a deep playoff run. The offense, led by Stroud and McCaffrey, will be a force to be reckoned with, while the defense needs to step up to ensure that high-scoring games don’t become high-stress scenarios.

The 2024 season is set up for the Bagels to make a statement. They have the talent, the experience, and the drive to not just reach the Super Bowl but to win it. Anything less than a championship would be a disappointment for a team that has the pieces to secure its first IFFL title. It’s championship or bust for the Cincinnati Bagels in 2024, and the city is ready to celebrate a long-awaited victory.

Update on Los Angeles WR Ricky Pearsall's Shooting Incident - 04 Sep 2024

Los Angeles, CA - Ricky Pearsall, WR for the Los Angeles Lords, has been released from the hospital and is expected to make a full recovery. The bullet passed through his chest and exited out the back, fortunately missing any major organs. His status for the season remains undetermined at this time. The shooter has been arrested, and while many IFFL owners have voiced their support for Pearsall, Hartford Whalers owner Chad Allen still has not released a comment on the incident despite his previous statements on gun rights.

2024 Season Outlook: New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz - 04 Sep. 2024

Championship or Bust for the New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz

New Whiteland, IN - After a stellar 10-4 season that saw the New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz secure the IFFL Central Division title, expectations are sky-high for the 2024 campaign. With the team’s new owner, Kevin Julbert, taking the helm and relocating the franchise from Austin, the pressure is on to deliver a championship and restore the team’s legacy of excellence. Here's a comprehensive look at why this season is championship or bust for the Pluckerz.

Tua Tagovailoa (Protected) remains the cornerstone of the Pluckerz’ offense. After an impressive 2023 season, Tagovailoa’s ability to stay healthy and continue his high level of performance will be crucial. The addition of Kyler Murray provides a dynamic backup option and an intriguing potential for a dual-quarterback strategy, adding depth and versatility to the position.

The Pluckerz boast a powerful and well-rounded backfield. Isiah Pacheco (Protected) is the clear lead back, known for his explosive plays and reliability. Zach Charbonnet, Brian Robinson, and Jordan Mason provide excellent depth and flexibility. This quartet can handle various game situations, from grinding out tough yards to breaking away for long runs. With such a deep and talented group, the running game is poised to be a major strength for New Whiteland.

The receiving corps is nothing short of spectacular. Davante Adams (Protected) is a top-tier talent who can dominate any matchup, while Michael Pittman, Rome Odunze, Mike Williams, and Jerry Jeudy offer a plethora of receiving options. Each of these receivers brings unique skills to the table, creating mismatches and opportunities for Tagovailoa and Murray. The depth and talent at wide receiver ensure that the Pluckerz will be a potent aerial threat.

Kevin Julbert’s acquisition of the Pluckerz from the highly successful Derek Hamilton, in 2010, signifies a fresh chapter for the franchise. The move from Austin hasn’t dampened the team’s competitive spirit, but it has placed a huge responsibility on Julbert’s shoulders. A team with a rich history, including five IFFL championships, with the last one coming back in 2008. The Pluckerz have consistently been a formidable force, and Julbert’s challenge is to return them to their former glory.

The Pluckerz’ 2023 season ended in disappointment with a semi-final loss to division rivals the Cincinnati Bagels. This year, anything short of a championship will be considered a letdown. The team’s roster is built for success, with top-tier talent at every position and a roster that can compete at the highest level.

The combination of a well-rounded offense, a stable of talented running backs, an elite receiving corps, and a solid defense sets the stage for a championship run. With the weight of historical success and the pressure to deliver under new ownership, the 2024 season is all about living up to expectations. For the New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz, it’s simple: win the championship or face a season of unmet potential.

2024 Season Outlook: South Carolina Scarecrows - 03 Sep. 2024

Scarecrows Get Back to Work, Searching for Number 3

Charleston, SC - The South Carolina Scarecrows are primed and ready for a stellar 2024 season, uoyed by a solid roster and a burning desire to secure their third IFFL championship. After finishing the 2023 season with an impressive 8-6 record and claiming the IFFL East Division title, the Scarecrows are set to build on their success and push for the ultimate prize.

The quarterback position is stacked with talent. Jordan Love, Derek Carr, and Michael Penix Jr. offer a versatile and dynamic trio. Love and Carr bring experience and leadership, while Penix Jr. adds a high-upside option. This depth ensures that the Scarecrows have a quarterback to match any game situation, increasing their chances of making deep playoff runs.

The wide receiver corps is nothing short of stellar. With Stefon Diggs, Mike Evans, and DeAndre Hopkins leading the charge, the Scarecrows boast one of the most formidable receiving units in the league. Rashid Shaheed, Josh Downs, and Quentin Johnston add youthful energy and playmaking ability, creating a well-rounded and explosive receiving group that can strike fear into any defense. Dallas Goedert and Luke Musgrave give the Scarecrows a strong tight end duo.

A unique and personal highlight of the season is the annual Domestic Violence Bowl, where the Scarecrows face off against the San Antonio Mexican'ts, managed by Harless’s wife, Tanya. This matchup is always a thrilling and emotional contest, adding an extra layer of excitement and motivation for the Scarecrows.

As the 2024 season kicks off, the South Carolina Scarecrows are a team to watch. With a potent roster, excellent management, and a clear goal of achieving their third IFFL championship, the Scarecrows are poised for a successful and memorable season. Fans should buckle up for a thrilling ride as South Carolina looks to cement its legacy in the IFFL.


2024 Season Outlook: Tabbi's Kats - 02 Sep. 2024

Tabbi's Kats Season Full of "Promise"

Tiskiwa, IL - Well, well, well, if it isn’t Tabbi Brewer’s Kats, poised for yet another season of what will undoubtedly be a whirlwind of emotional highs and lows. After finishing with a respectable 8-6 record last year, claiming 3rd place in the IFFL Central Division, the Kats are ready to take another swing at the playoffs. And if history is any guide, we can expect them to be as consistent as ever—just not necessarily in the ways they might hope.

Tabbi's QB room features a blend of reliability and nostalgia. Josh Allen, her protected star, is coming off another stellar season. No surprises there—Allen’s consistency is as dependable as it is predictable. Matthew Stafford is the backup, proving that even if you’re a one-time champion, there’s always room for some vintage flair. Stafford might be the seasoned vet with a Super Bowl ring, but it remains to be seen if he’ll be anything more than a backup with a few good stories from the good old days.

In the backfield, Derrick Henry and D'Andre Swift are the protected stars. Henry’s monstrous presence is well-known, though one wonders if his age might start to show this season—after all, even Titans eventually wear down. Swift, meanwhile, is hoping for more stability than his injury-ridden past has provided. Chuba Hubbard and Bucky Irving fill out the depth chart, and while they offer potential, their ability to deliver when needed most is still a question mark.

The Kats’ receiving corps is a mix of promising and somewhat unproven talent. Deebo Samuel is a solid asset—when he’s not injured, of course. Rashee Rice and Keenan Allen provide some intriguing potential. Allen’s experience is admirable, but age and injuries might start to be a factor. Rice’s promise is evident, but let’s be honest, he’s still in the proving phase.

So, as the Kats embark on this new season, there’s a lot of hope mixed with cautious optimism. Brewer’s knack for playoff appearances is admirable, but repeating past success is never a given. She and Tanya Harless will once again clash in the Fine Lady Game—an annual tradition that, let’s face it, adds a bit of extra spice to an otherwise routine season.

With a tendency to taunt the Los Angeles Lords with Hello Kitty paraphernalia—perhaps in an attempt to distract from their own inconsistencies—the Kats are sure to be entertaining. But whether they can translate that entertainment into meaningful wins remains to be seen. Here's to another season of watching and waiting—because in the world of fantasy football, it’s not just about the players, but how they manage to surprise or disappoint us.

Los Angeles WR Ricky Pearsall Shot, Expected to Make Full Recovery - 01 Sep. 2024

Los Angeles, CA - Los Angeles Lords wide receiver Ricky Pearsall was shot today (Saturday) but is expected to make a full recovery. The shooter has been arrested. Lords owner Jason Beaver condemned the cowardly act, while other IFFL owners have expressed support for Pearsall. Notably, Hartford Whalers owner Chad Allen, who previously commented on gun rights, has yet to make a statement about the incident. Pearsall’s status for Week 1 is currently undetermined, and the league is monitoring the situation closely.  This story is developing and will more than likely be updated.

2024 Season Outlook: Taipei Personality - 01 Sep. 2024

Taipei Personality Locked, Loaded, and Ready for War

Taipei City, TAIWAN - The Taipei Personality, led by the enigmatic Andrew Wang, is entering the 2024 IFFL season with a chip on their shoulder and a roster built for pure domination. After finishing 8-6 last year and securing 2nd place in the ultra-competitive IFFL West Division, the Personality are not just aiming for the playoffs—they’re gunning for their second IFFL championship, a feat they last achieved in 2019.

Owner Andrew Wang has always been a wildcard in the IFFL, and this year was no different. In an unexpected turn of events, Wang's flight to the 2024 IFFL Draft was diverted to an undisclosed remote location by the U.S. Air Force leaving him stranded in the middle of nowhere, but in true Andrew Wang fashion, this wasn’t going to stop him. The military allowed him to draft remotely, and Wang executed what could go down as one of the most aggressive draft strategies in IFFL history.

The Personality’s quarterback room is a battlefield. Dak Prescott and Deshaun Watson are two elite talents with everything to prove. Prescott, ever the leader, will be looking to silence his critics, while Watson, a polarizing figure, will be on a mission to remind the league of his raw talent. The competition between these two could ignite the Personality’s offense to levels unseen since their 2019 championship run.

Saquon Barkley, the Personality’s protected gem, is set to terrorize defenses in 2024. Barkley is a player who runs angry, and this season, he’ll be running with vengeance in his heart. Backing him up is James Cook, another protected asset who has shown flashes of brilliance. Tyjae Spears and Ray Davis add depth and dynamism to a backfield that’s as explosive as it is versatile.

When you have Tyreek Hill, one of the most electrifying players in the league, you’re always in the game. Hill is poised to torch defenses week after week, leaving defenders gasping for air as he turns on the jets. The addition of Malik Nabers, Wang’s first-round pick, injects fresh blood into an already lethal unit. Tee Higgins provides a physical presence on the outside, and Josh Palmer, the dark horse, is ready to make his mark.

Andrew Wang is no ordinary owner. From his bold draft moves to his unapologetic attitude, Wang embodies the Taipei Personality’s aggressive, never-back-down ethos. He’s not afraid to take risks, and this year, those risks are primed to pay off in a big way.

The Taipei Personality are locked and loaded for 2024. Anything less than a championship will be considered a failure by Wang and his loyal fanbase. This team is built to win, and with a roster full of talent, grit, and swagger, the rest of the IFFL better be ready. The Personality are coming—and they’re not taking any prisoners.

2024 Season Outlook: Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls - 31 Aug. 2024

Pittsburgh Loaded with Firepower

Pittsburgh, PA - The Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls are gearing up for the 2024 season with high hopes after finishing 7-7 in 2023, their best record ever, securing 2nd place in the IFFL East Division. This year the Peanut Butter Balls, led by Owner Matt Howell, are ready to take the next step and make a strong push in the playoffs.

The Peanut Butter Balls' offense is anchored by the dynamic duo of Lamar Jackson and Geno Smith at quarterback. Jackson, the team’s protected star, is set to lead the charge with his electrifying playmaking ability, while Smith provides a solid backup option capable of stepping up when needed.

In the backfield Joe Mixon, another protected player, will spearhead the rushing attack. Mixon's combination of power and agility makes him a threat to opposing defenses every week. He’ll be supported by a deep stable of running backs including Miles Sanders, who is looking to bounce back after a less than solid season, Zack Moss, Rico Dowdle, and Jaylen Wright each bringing their own unique style to the mix.

The wide receiver corps is just as formidable. D.J. Moore, who returns after a strong 2023 season, is ready to take on a leading role. He’s joined by the ever-reliable Amari Cooper and the versatile Diontae Johnson. Marquise Brown rounds out the group with his game-breaking speed, making this unit one of the most well-rounded in the league. George Kittle, the team's protected tight end, is set to continue his dominance as one of the top players at his position. His combination of blocking prowess and receiving skills makes him a key piece in both the passing and running games.

While the Peanut Butter Balls are looking to make a name for themselves on the field, it’s worth noting that Owner Matt Howell has already made his mark off the field. For 17 years running, the Peanut Butter Balls have boasted the best helmets in the league, a testament to Howell's commitment to excellence in every aspect of the team.

As the 2024 season approaches, the Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls are ready to build on their success from last year. With a roster full of talent and a strong sense of identity, this team has all the ingredients to make a deep playoff run. Get ready, IFFL—the Peanut Butter Balls are coming to play!

2024 Season Outlook: Tequila Sunrise - 30 Aug. 2024

 A New Dawn for IFFL Giants Sunrise Looming

Tequila, NM - As the 2024 Indiana Fantasy Football League (IFFL) season dawns, the Tequila Sunrise are poised to make a triumphant return to the top of the standings. After a promising finish in 2023, where they won 6 of their last 7 games and narrowly missing the playoffs, the Sunrise are reloaded and ready to chase another championship.

The most significant boost for the Sunrise comes in the form of Justin Herbert, acquired in the 4th round 2024. Herbert's return has already made waves, injecting the team with elite quarterback play and a new level of optimism. With the talented signal-caller back under center, the Sunrise are primed to exploit defenses and put up big numbers.

The running back corps is a powerhouse of talent. De'Von Achane and Bijan Robinson, both keepers, headline a group that promises explosive performances and reliable production. Achane's speed and Robinson's all-around skills make them a dynamic duo that can control the pace of the game. Complementing them are Zamir White, Chase Brown, Blake Corum, and J.K. Dobbins. This deep and versatile group offers a range of styles and strategies, ensuring the Sunrise can adapt to any defensive scheme and keep their opponents guessing.

The wide receiver group is equally impressive. Amon-Ra St. Brown, a keeper, continues to be a focal point of the offense, bringing exceptional route-running and playmaking ability. Romeo Doubs, Khalil Shakir, Brandin Cooks, and Jakobi Meyers round out a talented receiving corps. Doubs and Cooks offer deep-threat capabilities, while Shakir and Meyers provide reliable options in the intermediate game. This balanced receiving group ensures that Justin Herbert has a wealth of targets at his disposal.

With the most championships in IFFL history—six and counting—the Tequila Sunrise are no strangers to success. The team’s recent trades and draft strategies, including selecting players like Zamir White, Blake Corum, Chase Brown, and Romeo Doubs—targets also pursued by their rivals—demonstrate their commitment to staying ahead of the curve.

As the 2024 season unfolds, the Tequila Sunrise are not just aiming for the playoffs—they are setting their sights on another championship. With a balanced roster, elite talent at key positions, and a winning mentality, the Sunrise are ready to light up the league and add another title to their storied history. Keep an eye on this team, as they embark on what promises to be an exciting and successful season!

2024 Season Outlook: Hartford Whalers - 29 Aug. 2024

Hartford Whalers Ready to Ride the Wave to Glory

Hartford, CT - As the 2024 IFFL season kicks off the Hartford Whalers are gearing up to make a strong push for their second championship, building on their success from the 2020 COVID season. While some might question the legitimacy of that title, this year’s Whalers squad is determined to leave no doubt about their place in league history.

At the heart of the Whalers' offense is the indomitable Patrick Mahomes, a quarterback who needs no introduction. As the team’s protected player, Mahomes is the engine that powers the Whalers' high-octane offense. His ability to extend plays and make jaw-dropping throws is unmatched, and with Mahomes at the helm the Whalers always have a chance to win.


In the backfield, Josh Jacobs returns as the team’s workhorse running back. Jacobs is coming off a solid season and looks poised to once again be the focal point of the Whalers' ground game. Complementing Jacobs is Jaylen Warren, a dynamic runner with the ability to break big plays, and Javonte Williams, who brings a bruising style to the running game. Marshawn Lloyd rounds out the running back corps adding depth and versatility.

The receiving corps is led by Puka Nacua, another protected player who emerged as a reliable target last season. Nacua's ability to find open spaces and make tough catches will be crucial to the Whalers' success. Nico Collins and Jayden Reed provide size and speed on the outside, while Chris Godwin brings veteran savvy and route-running precision to the group. Curtis Samuel is a versatile weapon who can make plays both as a receiver and a runner.

The Whalers' schedule is highlighted by their annual Honey Mustard rivalry games against the New Delhi Subs, a fierce competition that has been ongoing for 24 years. Owner Allen’s disdain for the IFFL's two female owners, Tabbi Brewer and Tanya Harless, only adds fuel to the fire, as he is determined to prove that the Whalers are still the team to beat.

Off the field, Allen remains as colorful as ever, indulging in his love for the Gilmore Girls TV show, which he famously broadcasts from his owner’s box. His penchant for sending humorous Snapchat bitmojis of himself and rival owners in silly predicaments keeps the league’s group chat lively and entertaining.

The 2024 season promises to be an exciting one for the Hartford Whalers. With a balanced roster led by one of the best quarterbacks in the game, a strong running attack, and a capable defense, the Whalers are poised to make a deep playoff run. The question is will this be the year they silence the doubters and add another undisputed championship to their name? If Mahomes and company have anything to say about it, the Whalers could very well be riding the wave to glory once again.


2024 Season Outlook: San Antonio Mexican'ts - 28 Aug. 2024

Gloomy 2024 Season Incoming for the San Antonio Mexican'ts

San Antonio, TX - The San Antonio Mexican'ts enter the 2024 season with a heavy burden of unfulfilled expectations and an ominous cloud of uncertainty looming over their campaign. Finishing last in the IFFL West Division with a 6-8 record in 2023, Tanya Harless's team has never made the playoffs, and the same old narrative of injuries and misfortune seems poised to repeat itself.

Anthony Richardson, the team’s protected quarterback, is a beacon of potential, but he remains unproven at this level. While his athleticism and dual-threat capabilities are undeniable, the growing pains of a young quarterback could limit his consistency leaving Jared Goff as the safer yet uninspiring fallback option. Goff may be serviceable, but he's not the kind of player who can carry a team that’s destined to face adversity.

The heart and soul of the Mexican'ts' offense, Nick Chubb, is already dealing with injury concerns before the season kicks off. Slated to miss at least four games, Chubb’s absence is a crushing blow. Najee Harris, while capable, has yet to prove he can be the focal point of an offense, and his efficiency has been questionable. Devin Singletary and Jerome Ford round out a backfield that lacks depth and explosiveness, leaving the running game in a precarious position.

CeeDee Lamb, another protected asset, held out during training camp, raising questions about his readiness and chemistry with the quarterbacks. While Lamb is an elite talent, the missed time could impact his early-season performance. D.K. Metcalf is a physical specimen but is often prone to disappearing in games and second year reciever Zay Flowers is an untested commodity. Christian Kirk, the fourth receiver, has been reliable but is not the game-changer this offense desperately needs.

For Tanya Harless, this season feels like a replay of so many others. Injuries have already begun to take their toll, and the lack of depth and star power in key positions suggests that the Mexican'ts will once again be battling uphill. The Domestic Violence Bowl against Trevor Harless's South Carolina Scarecrows might bring some small consolation, as the Mexican'ts have typically had the upper hand in that contest, but outside of that the outlook is grim.

With no playoff appearances to date and a roster that already seems to be unraveling before the season begins, it’s hard to see how 2024 will be any different for the San Antonio Mexican'ts. Unless some unexpected heroics emerge from this beleaguered squad, it looks like another year of heartbreak is on the horizon.


2024 Season Outlook: New Delhi Subs - 27 Aug. 2024

Subs On the Rise, 2024 Crucial Year for Team

New Delhi, INDIA - The turning point for the Subs happened during Week 3 of the 2023 season when they traded WR Ja'Marr Chase to the Los Angeles Lords in exchange for a 1st and 3rd round pick, as well as WR Jaylen Waddle. Waddle was subsequently flipped in week 6, setting up the Subs for an unprecedented 12 draft picks in the first three rounds of the 2024 draft. The centerpiece of their draft haul was Kyren Williams, selected 4th overall, cementing him as the foundation for the Subs running back group.

The New Delhi Subs enter the 2024 IFFL season with a renewed sense of optimism following a flurry of strategic moves during the 2023 season and a strong showing in the 2024 draft. After finishing 6-8 and 4th in the IFFL East Division last season, the Subs have transformed into a potential title contender—if they can navigate some critical uncertainties.

Purdy returns as the protected quarterback, aiming to build on his surprising 2023 season. With Cousins as a reliable backup, the Subs have solid depth at the most critical position. Purdy's continued development will be key, as his consistency will set the tone for the offense.

The wide receiver group is the most intriguing—and perhaps the most volatile—part of the Subs' roster. Brandon Aiyuk, the star, remains in a holdout situation. His return is crucial; without him, the Subs' WR corps, while still talented, lacks the elite firepower needed to dominate. Chris Olave and DeVonta Smith are strong WR2 options, and Calvin Ridley adds a high-upside wildcard. However, the success of this group hinges heavily on Aiyuk's status. Kelce, the cornerstone of the Subs' passing attack, continues to defy age and remains a top-tier tight end. Trey McBride provides depth but will likely see limited opportunities unless Kelce misses time.

The New Delhi Subs have built a very strong team for the 2024 season. The depth at running back, coupled with the potential firepower at wide receiver and the stability provided by Travis Kelce, makes them a legitimate title contender. However, the key to their success will hinge on the weekly decisions made regarding the starting lineup. With so many talented players, ensuring the right combination of starters will be crucial.

2024 Season Outlook: Chicago Fightin' Ditkas - 26 Aug. 2024

Chicago Fightin' Ditkas - A Desperate Bid for Glory

Chicago, IL - After a disappointing 5-9 finish in the 2023 season, the Chicago Fightin' Ditkas find themselves at a crossroads. With their storied history and two IFFL championships under the leadership of the always controversial owner Shadd Wright, the Ditkas are desperate to reclaim their place atop the league. The 2024 season isn't just about bouncing back; it's about making a statement.

In a bold and somewhat controversial move, Wright traded away the 3rd overall pick and next year's first-rounder to secure the top overall pick. The prize? Caleb Williams, the dynamic quarterback out of USC, hailed as the future face of the franchise. With Aaron Rodgers nearing the twilight of his career the Ditkas needed to think long-term and Williams was the answer. The only problem? According to an unnamed rival owner, Wright didn’t need to make that trade, as Williams likely would have been available at #3. The comment stung, but the decision is now in the past and Williams is the present and future of the Ditkas.

Williams steps into an offense brimming with potential. The wide receiver corps, headlined by keepers Drake London, Christian Watson, and Courtland Sutton, is poised to wreak havoc on opposing secondaries. Each receiver offers a unique skill set: London’s size and physicality, Watson’s speed, and Sutton’s reliable hands. Add in explosive young talents like Xavier Worthy, Keon Coleman and Brian Thomas Jr., and Williams has no shortage of weapons.

The running back room is a mix of seasoned veterans and rising stars. Austin Ekeler remains the workhorse, but Alexander Mattison, Rachaad White and Ezekiel Elliott provide depth and experience. Rookie Braelon Allen adds a power element to the mix, giving the Ditkas a versatile backfield capable of adapting to any situation.

For the Ditkas, the 2024 season is about more than just wins and losses; it’s about validating the risky decisions made in the offseason. If Caleb Williams can live up to the hype, if the veteran running backs can hold up, and if the receiving corps can deliver as expected, the Ditkas could be primed for a deep playoff run. However with their draft capital depleted, failure is not an option.

Owner Shadd Wright is no stranger to controversy, but this season the stakes are higher than ever. The Ditkas are all-in and the pressure is on. Success isn’t just desired; it’s demanded. The only question is can they deliver?

2024 Season Outlook: Philadelphia Dark Side - 25 Aug. 2024

From Dark Side to Playoffs, Philly looks to return to Glory

Philadelphia, PA - The Philadelphia Dark Side enters the 2024 IFFL season with a lot to prove after a disappointing 5-9 finish in 2023. Despite a talented core, the team struggled to find consistency, leading to a last-place finish in the East Division. This season, however, there’s cautious optimism in Philadelphia largely due to a high-risk, high-reward offseason strategy that could either lead to a deep playoff run or another year of frustration.

The most significant move of the offseason was the acquisition of quarterback Jalen Hurts from the South Carolina Scarecrows in exchange for the 2nd overall pick in the 2024 draft. Hurts, known for his dual-threat capabilities, brings a dynamic element to the Dark Side offense. Pairing him with A.J. Brown, whom Philadelphia protected, creates a formidable QB-WR duo that could be one of the league's most explosive.

However, this bold move didn’t come without sacrifices. Philadelphia traded away their 2nd and 3rd round picks in 2024, leaving them with limited draft capital and a roster that lacks depth in several key areas. They did manage to regain their 3rd round pick in a trade with the New Delhi Subs, sending Aaron Jones in return. While this trade provided some relief it also underscored the precarious position the team finds itself in.

The Dark Side's roster is headlined by a trio of stars: Jalen Hurts, Alvin Kamara and A.J. Brown. If these three can stay healthy and perform at their peak, Philadelphia could be a dark horse contender in the IFFL. Kamara, despite concerns about his health and age, remains one of the most versatile running backs in the league. His ability to contribute both as a rusher and receiver out of the backfield will be crucial in helping Hurts and the offense find balance.

The receiving corps, led by A.J. Brown, is a mix of proven veterans and high-upside young talent. Terry McLaurin and Tyler Lockett provide steady production, while Jaxon Smith-Njigba and Jahan Dotson bring youth and potential breakout ability. If Smith-Njigba can develop into a reliable target, it could take this unit from good to great.

The running back depth is a concern, however. Beyond Kamara, the Dark Side will rely on a committee approach with Jonathon Brooks, Trey Benson, Audric Estime and Kenneth Gainwell. None of these backs have proven themselves as consistent performers, and if Kamara misses time the Dark Side could struggle to find a reliable rushing attack.

If everything goes right, Philadelphia has the potential to not only make the playoffs but contend for their second IFFL title and the first under Owner Avan Beaver. However, if injuries strike or the depth fails to deliver, it could be another long season for the Dark Side. Ultimately, the Dark Side is a team with a high ceiling but a low floor. A playoff berth is within reach, but so is the #1 overall pick. For Avan Beaver, the 2024 season will be a true test of his managerial acumen as he seeks to navigate the team through the challenges of a highly competitive league.


2024 Season Outlook: Indy Animals - 24 Aug. 2024

Indy Animals, A New Dawn

Indianapolis, IN – The 2023 season was a tough pill to swallow for the Indy Animals who ended the year with a 2-12 record, finishing last in the IFFL Central Division. However, as the 2024 season approaches there is a renewed sense of hope and excitement in the locker room. Owner Kevin "Q" Ryburn has strategically positioned his team for both immediate improvement and long-term success and fans have reasons to believe that the tide is turning.

One of the most exciting aspects of the 2024 Indy Animals is their young and dynamic offense. The quarterback room is stocked with potential, featuring Jayden Daniels, Will Levis, and the ever-promising Trevor Lawrence. Lawrence, coming off a solid, if unspectacular year, will likely lead the charge, but the presence of Daniels and Levis gives the team flexibility and depth at the most critical position.

At wide receiver the Animals boast one of the most exciting groups in the league. Garrett Wilson and Cooper Kupp return as protected stars, bringing a combination of youth and experience that few teams can match. The addition of rookie sensation Marvin Harrison Jr. through the draft has injected even more excitement into the offense. Harrison, who was the top prospect on the Animals’ board, has the potential to make an immediate impact and become a game-changer. Tank Dell, Ladd McConkey and Adonai Mitchell round out a deep and talented receiving corps that will give opposing defenses nightmares.

Owner Kevin "Q" Ryburn understands that the path to the playoffs won’t be easy, but he is cautiously optimistic about the team’s chances. “We’ve got a lot of young talent and we’re building something special here,” Ryburn said. “The goal is to make the playoffs, but we’re also realistic about the challenges ahead. If we need to make some moves to set ourselves up for the future we’ve got the pieces to do that.”

The trade of the 1st overall pick to Chicago for the 3rd overall pick and a 2025 first-rounder was a bold move, but it allowed the Animals to still land their top target, Marvin Harrison Jr., while adding valuable assets for the future. This strategic maneuvering has given the team flexibility, whether they push for a playoff run this year or look to further build for the coming seasons.

As the 2024 season kicks off the Indy Animals are a team on the rise. With a mix of young stars, seasoned veterans and a front office willing to make bold moves, there is every reason to believe that the Animals will be much more competitive this year. Whether they make a surprising run to the playoffs or set themselves up for sustained success in the future, one thing is certain: the Indy Animals are a team to watch in 2024.

IFFL Draft 2024 is Complete, In Draft Trades Make a Comeback - 25 Aug. 2024

Bloomfield, IN - The IFFL draft is in the books! It was a great day of drafting, trading, laughing and a little bit of cussing and threats being made. All is said and done, now we wait on the season to start.  Kickoff of the Cincinnati Bagels @ Los Angeles Lords is just 10 days away.

The draft this year saw Aaron Jones get traded from Philadelphia to New Delhi for his original 3rd round pick (3.02) and then George Pickens was traded from New Delhi to Los Angeles for a 5th round choice  (5.14).

There was some controversy to the draft as Andrew Wang and Pete Shaunki had their planes diverted by the US Air Force, as reported before the draft. New information has been uncovered pointing to an inside job. There are some rumblings that the delegation from San Antonio might have been to blame, causing Shaunki and Wang to have to draft from an undisclosed, secret location.

Back to the draft, fun and laughter took the day by storm. Picks came early and often in the first round, including Chicago kicking the draft off a few minutes early with the first overall selection and the prematureipickulation heard round the world.  New Delhi  ended with 11 picks in the first 3 rounds starting with RB Kyren Williams (1.03) and K Harrison Butker (3.14).  The biggest surprise was probably at first overall when Chicago traded up 2 spots (including their 1st round pick next year) drafting Caleb Williams, who they more than likely could’ve gotten in the 2nd round. After this reporter called around to the rest of the league, one anonymous team owner said “ I wish I could see his face when he realizes he didnt have to make that trade to get his guy.” So does this reporter.

Here is a look at the draft from a collection and average of draft grades and roster analysis 12 hours after the draft ended.

Rank

Team

Grade

1

New Delhi Subs

A

2

Taipei Personality

B +

3

Tequila Sunrise

B

3

Tabbi's Kats

B

5

South Carolina Scarecrows

B -

6

Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls

C +

7

Hartford Whalers

C

7

Chicago Fightin' Ditkas

C

7

San Antonio Mexicants

C

10

Indy Animals

C -

11

New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz

D

12

Cincinnati Bagels

D -

13

Philadelphia Dark Side

F

14

Los Angeles Lords

F


Ditka's Trade 2 Picks to Animals for #1 Overall Pick!! - 24 Aug. 2024

Bloomfield, IN- In a rare draft day trade, the Animals have traded the #1 pick to Chicago for the #3 overall pick and 2025's first round pick. Chicago is now on the clock.

The Fightin' Ditka's reached out to Animal's owner Kevin Ryburn to inquire about the trade after talking through different scenario's the teams went back to the original offer. Sources in the room tell us that Indy wanted a 1 and 2 this year and Chicago countered with an offer that was straight off of an algebra 101 final, that was declined because it was "just too complicated".

In other news from the IFFL draft, Philadelphia has sent the 2nd overall pick to South Carolna for Jalen Hurts. This trade was proposed at the league meeting in June 2024 and was finally accepted today.

Also in the news, the flights for New Dlehi and Taipei were diverted by the US Air Force and owners Andrew Wang and Pete Shaunki were not allowed into the country so they will not be at the draft. However, fans they will be drafting from an undisclosed remote location.

Lords Win!!! LA Wins 4th IFFL Championship! - 07 Jan. 2024

Tequila, NM - The Los Angeles Lords went to Tequila for IFFL Bowl XXVIII as the decided underdog. The Cincinnati Bagels were looking for their first Championship and were feeling confident after dismantling The Chicken Pluckerz the week prior in the semi finals.  

Joe Flacco and Breece Hall came out and were on fire leading the Badels to a 26 -10 1st quarter lead. They had a 27-18 lead at the half.  The Bagels were loving it and making plans to go to Disney World.  The Lords, whose loss to the Kats in last year's Championship was still fresh, took the field and warmed up with a purpose. The ball was kicked in the 3rd quarter and the Lords went down the field getting a quick TD from 3rd string QB Derek Carr to LA MVP, Kyren Williams. Carr would go on to run in another score and Williams would get 2 more in the quarter and put the Lords in the lead 49-38 at the end of 3, the fourth quarter featured no scoring and the Lords held on for  the 49-38 victory.  The Bagels lost Christion McCafferey early in the 3rd quarter to a pulled calf muscle and Amari Cooper wasn't able to go due to a heel injury.

The Bagels didn't finish the season on the note they wanted to but they have a very bright future with rookie QB CJ Stroud and RB’s Christian McCaffrey and Breece Hall almost certain to return next season and if they want they could keep LaPorta or Deebo Samuel instead.  Owner LP Couch is certainly looking strong for the future was asked about the season in the locker room, “It was a dream season, for 2 years we have lost to this team. We are looking forward to September in LA so we can get some revenge.  CJ and Trevor both performed admirably this season and Christian, Deebo, Breece and Sam carried us all season. We finally made the Super Bowl which longtime fans of this franchise probably didn't think would ever happen. Let’s see what next season brings, and we will be prepared and ready to win for the fans."

For the victorious Lords, Jason Beaver has now won his 4th Championship to move him into sole possession of 3rd place for the most titles just 2 behind Tequila and Jeff Dixon.  The Lords will have a bright future as well. QB Joe Burrow, WR’s Jamarr Chase and Justin Jefferson will certainly return, leaving the future of Kyren Williams and Austin Ekeler up in the air.  “Austin Ekeler is a pro’s pro. He comes to work, does not cause problems, and gives it his all. This off season we will review production, value, perceived value, and coachability then make our decision on who will return,” Beaver said after the game about his roster. The week 5 trade for Jamarr Chase certainly helped this team to the title, as Chase provided stability and leadership when Burrow and Jefferson went down with injuries this season.

“We have had a hell of a season, never did I think with the holes we had in the roster early would we start the season 5-1, and to win this title after a 4-4 finish to the season, it's a dream come true, an amazing feeling.  There is nothing like saying you are IFFL Champions.” summed up Beaver.

Until August Thank you for enjoying IFFL season 28 with us.

Trade Deadline Approaching! - 07 Nov, 2023

Bedford, IN - The 2023 trade deadline is upon us. All trades must be in to the league offices by noon Thursday, Nov. 9th.

The trade deadline has been extended until noon on Thursday. This is a result of a snafu in the league offices and the planned announcement wasn't sent out as intended. Due to this it was decided that another 48 hours was appropriate.

Sorry for the confusion. We are trying to figure out how to improve our efficiency while still working our employees to death, unfortunately it is still a work in progress.

L.A. Lords Issue Formal Apology - 28 Oct, 2023
New Delhi Trades TE to Philly - 04 Oct, 2023

Philadelphia, PA - New Delhi makes the first trade of the season with Philadelphia (is anyone shocked by this?) as the division rivals flip back up TE’s and the Dark Side part with a 3rd round pick as well. Hayden Hurst and Donald Parham are trading spots in the East division as Parham goes to the basement and Hurst collects his belongings and heads to the 3rd floor.

Said Philadelphia Owner Avan Beaver, “This is all about the targets, Hurst is a target monster.” It was quickly pointed out to Mr. Beaver that targets do not equal points. The team has now parted with their 3rd round pick which is a sweet spot pick which will surely cripple them in 2024.

Pete Shaunki of New Delhi fame said, “I will not take my fourth straight loss and a loss in the Honey Mustard Incident game lightly, we must rebuild this team,  ½ a TD at a time. Parham is averaging that this season."

This reporter has heard that New Delhi was offered at least 3 deals involving Hurst, artificially inflating his value and he chose this one. I guess the Subs are really trying to lose out this season. Well the Subs and Pete Shaunki are dead to me at this point in time and we will not waste our time reporting on them any more this season.

 

Chase Gets Wish, Moves Stateside While LA Mortgages Future Again - 04 Oct, 2023

Los Angeles, CA - In a strange twist of fate, after the deal appeared dead and the players were told to stand down, Ja'marr Chase will be reunited with Joe Burrow on the LA Lords. A week ago tonight this deal appeared dead as the teams could not agree on compensation for Chase and the talks had pivoted to other players on the rosters. The teams both thought the deal was dead.

So what changed? Ja'marr Chase started complaining about an ankle injury and how he would probably need to miss a few weeks while at the same time starting to make arrangements to go back to the US to “rehab the injury”. That seemed to be enough for Subs owner Pete Shaunki to pull the trigger on a deal, he just needed to find someone to overpay.  Patsy found. With a quick text Jaylen Waddle, a 1st round pick and 3rd round pick were moved to New Delhi for Ja'marr Chase.

The teams came together on the deal quickly with Beaver agreeing to the trade even though he knew what was at stake, knowing if this goes south that he just gave up a s**t ton of draft capital that will cripple his franchise next season. “In my mind this is an easy choice, and besides we are all in this to for one thing  and one thing only, the Riesbeck Trophy. It's been 12 years since I held that trophy, far, far too long.” 

For Shaunki and his Subs this brings to an end their last championship winning team and all of the work that went into assembling that team is finished.  “If there is one thing I’ve realized you have to be willing to make the hard decisions and move on from players that are no longer willing to put in the work.” 

Chase and Waddle will arrive at their new destinations and prepare to play this week. For Chase he gets a chance to face Hartford’s defense again this weekend and has another chance to prove he still has it in front of his new fans. Still, we are left to wonder why Beaver made this mind-bogglingly stupid move. He danced around the questions at the press conference to announce the move and there is no logical reason why you make this trade. Is Chase a generational talent? Yes. is Chase better than Waddle? Yes. Do you cripple your franchise and make the following year a pain in the ass? No, you don’t and that is what's so mind-boggling. Everyone in Lords Park better pray that this works out or someone other than Beaver will pay the price.

 

Blockbuster Deal Between Tequila and Indy Sees Herbert, Kupp Shange Teams - 04 Oct, 2023

Tequila, NM - Tequila has made a move! After spending too much time in the cellar over the past 2 seasons the team has made a move to get Justin Herbert from the Animals for a package highlighted by WR’s 'lil Cooper Kupp and George Pickens.

The Animals owner, who was sitting pretty with his QB depth, has swung for the fences and bet his season on the fact that Cooper Kupp can return to preinjury form soon. Kupp will join up with Pickens and Calvin Ridley to form an action packed WR core to go along with, well just Kirk Cousins or Jordan Love. I mean neither of those guys are going to sell a ticket but they might put up some points if they can stay upright.

Tequila had to do something after drafting Dak Prescott this season and watching him s**t himself the first 3 weeks, turning to Love in their week 4 blowout to the Kats. Really what else is new a team got blown out by the Kats, but that is going off topic. The Sunrise have set themselves up for excellence at QB and rebuilt their roster so they can fight to get out of the cellar.

Indy also didn't hurt themselves too much, especially if Kupp can return and play up to his potential. This might go down as a trade that helps both teams in the now. Other owners should take notice of this and not go out to solely trade-rape everyone Every. Single. Time a trade is offered.

 

New Beginnings and Old Friends: The IFFL 2023 Player Selection Meeting - 26 Aug, 2023

BEDFORD, IN - The day started as so many others for commissioner Dixon with the sun blaring thru the windows and Chloe the dog waiting to go outside. Although this day is astonishingly different as he will have the 1st overall selection in the draft later that afternoon. The fans will be looking to make sure he's bringing them back to the top of the league and not sending the franchise further down the hole.

Fast forward a few hours and the draft is minutes from starting. The front office in Tequila is making last minute updates to the teams impending pick; which will be very anticlimactic, as we found out in April that the team would be drafting RB Bijan Robinson #1 overall. The thinking is Robinson will bring back the team's run first mentality and take pressure off the starting quarterback, whoever that might be. We found out it will be Dak Prescott, opening up another option in the passing game. As the other owners started to show up: Kevin Ryburn, Chad Allen, Tabbi Brewer and Pete Shaunki in person; with Avan Beaver, Jason Beaver and the Harless’s, Trevor and Tanya, by remote. The time draws ever closer and the nerves break free.

The draft officially started with the announcement from Pete that New Delhi and New Whiteland had consummated the first trade of the year. Davante Adams for Travis Kelce, trying to help both teams with their worst positions on each team respectively. Maybe this will tell us if the script of Pete top/Kevin bottom will be flipped this year or if it stays the same.

Finally the time came for Commissioner Dixon to start the draft and turn into Owner Dixon, drafting Robinson. The rest of the first round went smoothly and quickly with Los Angeles and Tabbi’s Kats ending the first round. After 4.5 hours the draft was complete and the league was back in full swing. We are all waiting patiently for the league to update the rosters and the free agent list. The schedule will then be released, which is expected to follow the pattern of the last few years and kick off on Thursday Sept 7 with Tabbi’s Kats visiting the site of their championship victory in Los Angeles to take on the Lords, which they should have an easy time starting 1-0.

Lords Lose to Kats in Historic Championship Game - 08 Jan, 2023

Los Angeles, CA - It was a historic championship Sunday in the IFFL. As we were all witnessing the inevitable crowning of Tabbi’s Kat’s as IFFL champions, their first in the team’s history, a literal hurricane suddenly hit the LA coast last Sunday during the middle of the championship game. The league came together and voted to run the championship game back yesterday, at least that was the plan. Spurred on by their near death experiences, QB’s Joe Burrow and Josh Allen informed the league they would not play without another week off to prepare. The league capitulated but honestly it didn’t matter as Burrow, Justin Jefferson, and Jaylen Waddle left recently acquired Austin Ekeler to try to win the game by himself as they watched Allen and company dominate the game 91-53. LA owner Jason Beaver was overheard maniacally telling anyone that would listen, and some that would’ve rather not, that he was firing the “whole damn team” after embarrassing him like that for no apparent reason. Later he did the respectable thing at the podium and publicly congratulated Tabbi Brewer on her teams win.

The Kat’s have been one of the most luck struck teams in the IFFL. Every year it seems that they are either so close to a championship or they are the worst team in the league. It’s got to be the draft strategy of the owner preferring players who went to college at schools with Kat mascots; think Lions, Bengals, Panthers or Jaguars. QB Josh Allen got over the hump in convincing fashion this season and turned in a Super Bowl MVP performance. Questions immediately went to can you repeat? Brewer, who was not having any of it, stepped up to the microphone to admonish this reporter and make sure the media handled her team with the respect they deserve. “We are the champions of the world and we are not going to discuss repeats at this time. We are going to bask in the glory of continuing to dominate the Lords, or whatever they call themselves now,” she stated with a dismissive wave of her hand.

Kickoff to next season starts in September. We can't wait for it to begin.

 

Tequila Finishes Up Terrible Season, Will Draft #1 in August - 15 Dec, 2022

Tequila, NM – The Sunrise capped the worst season in franchise history Sunday in a loss to Hartford.  Owner Jeff Dixon at his end of season press conference had no real idea as to what happened to the team this season.  They made 2 minor trades, trading David Montgomery to New Delhi and Amon Ra St Brown and Pat Freiermuth to Los Angeles, and just ended up losing a lot this season.

The top of the IFFL draft order is set:

  1. Tequila 1-13 - QB was a big issue as Derek Carr just never performed this season. Injuries were big part of the season as well.
  2. Pittsburgh 3-11 – Lamar Jackson never got comfortable in Pittsburgh after having been in Hartford his whole career.
  3. Chicago 4-10 – Traded away most of the roster this season so it will be a fresh team come August.
  4. San Antonio 5-9 – Losing Dak early was a terrible thing to try, when one is trying to win a championship.
  5. New Whiteland 6-8 – Just got a lot of teams best efforts this season.
  6. South Carolina 6-8 – The gift of trading away Justin Jefferson just kept giving them losses most of the season.
  7. Indy 8-6 – Had injury issues most of the season, made a late push and just came up short on points.
  8. Chicago (via Philly) 4-10 (from Philadelphia 8-6) – Week 14 ACL injury to Kyler Murray cost Philadelphia a chance to make the playoffs. Chicago traded the aforementioned Murray to Philly for this pick.

Each of these teams are locked into this draft position before trades are added into the equation. It just so happens that I remember the Philly/Chicago trade and went ahead and added it in here.

Keep your eyes peeled here for updates throughout the offseason, as we will be posting a few fun tidbits during the offseason this year.

Los Angeles Strikes Again, Makes Deal With Chicago On Blockbuster Deal - 06 Nov, 2022

Los Angeles, CA – League and team sources in Los Angeles have confirmed that the Figthin’ Ditkas and the Lords have struck a deal to send RB Austin Ekeler to LA for RB Ezekiel Elliott and a 4th round pick.

Ekeler has been the bell cow back in Chicago for years and was a key cog in the 2017 run to the Riesbeck trophy for owner Shadd Wright.  Sources on both sides of the deal said it came together very fast and was not hard to make a deal.  The offer came in with what was felt was the Lords best offer and we made a minor adjustment to the deal, and it was accepted.  The teams have always worked well together, going back years now.

The trade from the Los Angeles side of things sets them up for a stretch run that will include games against Taipei, Cincinnati, Indy, and Philadelphia amongst others. This is when the best teams look for players that will push them over the top in the playoffs.  Did the Lords just get that player? Have they done enough or too much?

The best part about all this is that the trade deadline is on Tuesday November 8, 2022 at 11:59:59 PM est so there is still plenty of time for more deals to change the leagues balance of power.

Los Angeles Continues Making Roster Moves, New Delhi Makes Interdivision Trade - 06 Nov, 2022

Los Angeles, CA – Team officials from Los Angeles announced today a trade that sends Robert Tonyan and their 2nd round pick to Tequila for Amon Ra St. Brown and Pat Freiermuth. This is a move to improve the TE position, and add depth in the WR room.

“It’s kind of frustrating honestly. You have 14 owners in this league, most teams really try to keep it easy and make trades that make sense for both teams. You have a group that is trying to win every trade without trying. Sometimes you have to give up talent to get talent back in a trade, not just try to take a player that has performed in literally 2 games out of 9 and trade for a top 3 scorer in the league. Lastly there is that group of owners that you send an offer too and they don’t respond, I mean please tell me no, send me a counter offer or tell me the player is untouchable. Like literally you are 1-6 I know you have no desire to continue playing this season, but the rest of us may be trying to improve our teams so we can make a run at the title.  Injuries happen in this sport and if you are in a position of strength then help someone else out, who knows you may get a player back that costs the original team a playoff spot. Its 2022, technology is all around us. It takes what a minute or less to read, and reply to an email and say at the least yes or no. Really that is all we ask,” said Jason Beaver, in the first real tirade that he has gone on this season.

For Tequila this deal makes sense, as it gives two fan favorites a chance to go to LA and compete for a playoff spot. This is an organization that is usually around the top of the league in player friendly organiztions, and this is one of the reasons why.  They are not afraid to let talent go and if the situation calls for it to bring in players to make the team better.

In other news out of the IFFL today, New Delhi trades their 5th round pick to Pittsburgh for oft injured WR Keenan Allen, it was announced earlier this week that Allen would miss the game this week, and possibly multiple weeks, again after only playing 2 games all season this year. Will this be a wasted trade by New Delhi or will Allen come back late for a playoff run this season?  Guess we will just have to wait and see.

Philadelphia, Chicago Strike 6 Player Blockbuster! Murray and Stafford Involved - 30 Oct, 2022

Los Angeles, CA – League sources tell us that the Dark Side and Fightin Ditka’s have come to agreement on a mega trade, involving 6 players and a draft pick, the trade will send WR’s Chris Olave and Courtland Sutton to Chicago for WR Terry McLaurin and RB Mark Ingram.  We have recently learned that Kyler Murray is also going to Philadelphia.  Philadelphia is sending a first round pick and starting QB Matt Stafford to Chicago.

This marks a return to Philadelphia for Mark Ingram who was very productive in his last stint. It’s a good culture there, they have fun and winning is expected, but its punitive if we don’t win.
Chicago is one of the hottest teams in the league and they just got a Rookie WR they can keep and build around for the future. We wonder if there is something additional that we have not heard about with the overall roster overhaul.

In his press release Philly Owner Avan Beaver said it is more about pushing for the division and league titles this season, than anything else. I’ve been here 5 years had some success but looking to reach the top of the mountain, hopefully these changes will make it possible to lift the trophy, finally.  The young Beaver is not really known for his patience.

Currently there has been no update from the Chicago front office with comment on the trade. Wright must be thinking that there is no real reason to keep the status quo with Murray this season, he has only recently been playing as well as he did last year but for the first 5 weeks of the season, he was disappointing.



Division Rivals Make Deal, Future Looks Brights - 30 Oct, 2022

Los Angeles, CA – Los Angeles Owner and GM Jason Beaver announced this morning a trade between Los Angeles and San Antonio.  The Lords have agreed to send WR CeeDee Lamb and a 3rd round pick in the 2023 IFFL draft to the Mexican’ts for RB Devin Singletary and WR Jaylen Waddle.

The trade will reunite Lamb and QB Dak Prescott and keep San Antonio’s receiving corps near the best in the league while the team is searching for their first win this season.  The team so far has had no comment about the deal or their thoughts on the future. A team officia,l who would like to remain anonymous, stated that the temperature is running a little hot right now as the team searches for that elusive first win in 2022.

For the Lords, this roster no longer resembles the initial roster from August.  They have made deals with Indy, South Carolina, and now San Antonio.  The Lords have been able to move players to other teams and not trade away any 2023 draft capital, until this 3rd round pick.

“We are excited to be able to bring in Jaylen and Devin to the team. We feel they will be very key members of the squad going forward. CeeDee will be missed, he is one hell of an athlete and teammate, but we will get by without him,” said Beaver.

The Lords are in win now mode and are seizing every opportunity to win their 4th Riesbeck trophy and first in Los Angeles.

IFFL Trade Deadline Announced!! - 28 Oct, 2022

Tequila, NM – Commissioner Jeff Dixon today announced that the 2022 IFFL Trade Deadline is set for 11.8.22 at 11:59:59 PM. All potential deals have to be submitted to the league before that time by both parties involved.

"This year we have moved the trade deadline out by 1 week due to unforeseen circumstances," stated the commisioner. "Along with a desire from the players association to move it back by a week to encourage more moves from the leagues owners."

Happy Trading Ladies and Gentlemen!

Montgomery Shipped Off To New Delhi!! - 22 Oct, 2022

Tequila, NM – The Sunrise have traded RB David Montgomery to the New Delhi Subs in exchange for a 4th round 2023 draft pick. It was a trade that had to happen as Montgomery was starting to have issues with the Tequila coaching staff and ownership.

“Today we traded David to New Delhi. We would like to say that we wish David the best, however we are unable to say that. We don’t think he has enough left in the tank to be in the running for a starting spot for long, we believe it will be a matter of weeks,” said Tequila owner and commissioner Jeff Dixon. 

For the Subs Montgomery joins and leads a backfield with no one really in front of him other than street Free Agent D’Onta Foreman. 

Now is the time for New Delhi to make smart moves and improve their team.

Metcalf, Mattison to San Antonio!! - 30 Sep, 2022

Indianapolis, IN – The Mexican’ts and Animals struck a deal late Thursday evening, sending WR DK Metcalf and RB Alexander Mattison to San Antonio for WR Mike Evans and TE Dallas Goedert.  This mutually beneficial trade should help both teams, although it leaves San Antonio thin at TE.

Mike Evans, who was really loving the Riverwalk in town, was notably upset. We spoke to him after news of the deal broke.  “I was thinking that this would be a great place to play until I retired, now I am on the move again.  I have spoken to Mrs. Harless and although she was very straight forward and candid with me about the deal, I feel like what she really saw was the washboard abs on DK. Some people just like that, I guess.  Thank you, San Antonio, I will remember my 3 weeks here very fondly.”

As Alexander Mattison was leaving the west side facility of the Animals he quipped, “I’m really about to go from the penthouse to the outhouse," referring to the Mexicant’s 0-3 start.  Mattison should be more worried about getting his new team back into playoff contention.

It really makes you wonder if Indy owner Kevin Ryburn has seen all the player movement so far this year and decided he needed to make some moves if he was to compete, not only in his division but overall for the team’s 3rd Riesbeck Memorial Trophy.

The week 7 matchup between these 2 teams should be a good old fashioned slobber knocker that is for sure as there will be no love lost between any of these 4 players. 

Jones, Jefferson Trading Places; Los Angeles Makes Another Move!! - 30 Sep, 2022

Los Angeles, CA – In another shocking move, the Los Angeles Lords have gotten another WR for a fair price.  RB Aaron Jones, who is in his first season with the Lords, is being traded to South Carolina for WR Justin Jefferson. 

Said Scarecrows owner & GM Trevor Harless, “I want to say yes, but my WR corps sucks so bad already, talk me into the deal.”  Immediately after, the message of “Screw it lets do this” was sent.

Lords ownership has confirmed that they proposed the trade, hoping to negotiate a deal.  “I never thought when we proposed this deal would it get done as proposed.”  The team is excited for the next chapter and the ability to pair Justin Jefferson, Michael Thomas, and CeeDee Lamb together with Joe Burrow.  “The thing coming out of the draft this year was we knew we were going to have to be aggressive in the free agent and trade markets. We had a great corps of RB’,s actually way too many, so making deals this year we felt would be easier than in years past,” said Jason Beaver, Lords owner. 

“We are excited for Aaron to go to SC and prove that he was a worthy 3rd overall pick and we are sorry that his stay was so short in LA; however, the chance to get JJ was just too good to pass up.”

The Scarecrows and Lords meet in Week 8 in Columbia.

Los Angeles, Indy Make Moves and Help Each Other Out With Deal - 30 Sep, 2022

Los Angeles, CA – Team officials from Los Angeles today announced a trade that sent James Robinson and Curtis Samuel to Indy for CeeDee Lamb.  The teams came to the agreement on Saturday morning and made it official before lunch. 

“This trade will make us players in the hunt for the Riesbeck trophy this season. We are looking for a 4th championship in 2022,” said owner Jason Beaver.

For Indy, this move will help to close the gap between between the Animals and the Kats.  “We know we have to make moves to succeed.  CeeDee is a hell of a player, but we had to ship him to Los Angeles to get back a player in Robinson that we think will be able to get us into the playoffs and help us make noise,” said a confidential Animals source.

This move is the best thing for both teams and they both cleaned up and made their respective position groups stronger.

The 2022 IFFL Draft is just weeks away!! - 05 Aug, 2022

Bedford, IN - The 2022 IFFL draft is set for the 27th of August, 2022. Once again taking place at scenic Dogwood Springs in southern Indiana, the start time for the draft is scheduled for 1:30(ish) PM. If anyone can't make it then get in touch with the league offices (me), and we can make arrangements.

The site is updated, and draft ready with the only portions left to do being the schedule. We will be continuing the roster minimums of 2 QB, 2 TE, 2 K and 2 DEF's this season.

I'd like to have protected players in by the 17th of August so they can get posted with plenty of time before the draft.

New Delhi Takes Their Third Championship!!! - Feb. 06, 2022

Hartford, CT - The New Delhi Subs have seized their 3rd IFFL championship with a win over Tabbi's Kats. Owner Pete Shaunki doubled down on this season, trading numerous picks over the next two drafts in order to bring in big name talent. The gambles have paid off in spades.

The usual suspects showed up for the Subs. QB Aaron Rodgers had his normal stellar outing and RB Damien Harris found the endzone twice. However, the Kats came to play as well, with the Subs only leading by 3 at the half. Then WR Ja'Marr Chase made his presence felt. Chase, acquired earlier in the season for a 2nd round pick, dominated the third quarter on his way to a 266 yd, 3 TD game to cap off an amazing rookie campaign. The Kats just weren't able to overcome the third quarter onslaught and ended up falling to the Subs.

The 2021 IFFL Draft fast approaching!! - Jul. 28, 2021

Bedford, IN - The 2021 IFFL draft will be held at 1:30 PM on the 28th of August. The price guide is done and the draft section of the site will be up to date this weekend with the schedule coming after. As usual, online drafting is available for any who cannot make the draft in person and if that isn't a possiblilty then get ahold of me and we'll figure something out.

The same roster requirements will be carried over from last season. Each team will be required to carry 2 each of QB's, TE's and K's. Due to this requirement the roster size will be increased to 18 roster spots and the cap will be raised to $23.00. This worked well last season although it was hard to find a backup QB in a pinch.

I'll be sending an e-mail out when the site is up and ready, should be no later than Sunday the 1st of August.

Good luck everyone!!!

Congratulations to the Newest IFFL Champion! - Feb. 07, 2021

Bedford, IN - The IFFL has a new champion! The Hartford Whalers have claimed their first Super Bowl title. After 22 seasons and four Super Bowl losses owner Chad Allen can finally hoist the Donnie Riesbeck Memorial trophy.

"With all the accusations of mismanagement and cheating, which was never proven. The Whalers have finally claimed their rightful place among the elite franchises of the IFFL," stated Chad Allen during the teams victory parade in the snowy streets of Hartford.

"And all thanks to God almighty, who's not a woman, that we were able win before the Kats and Mexican'ts... 'cause you know, they''re women," finished Chad Allen with his normal tactfulness. Ms. Brewer and Mrs. Harless each gave statements, but those cannot be quoted here.

And the Playoffs Are Here!!! - Dec. 09, 2020

Bedford, IN - The 2020 IFFL regular season is over! It came down to the wire with six teams vying for the last three playoff spots. Unfortunately Chicago, Pittsburgh and San Antonio came up short, losing must-win games (although I can hardly fault Chicago given what the Chicken Pluckerz did).

The Indy Animals and South Carolina Scarecrows earned bye weeks. So this week will be Tequila versus Taipei and Hartford at New Whiteland.

Congratulations and good luck to everyone in the playoffs!

T-Minus 2 days 6 hours and 15 minutes until kickoff!!! - Sep. 08, 2020

Bedford, IN - In just a couple of days the 25th season of the IFFL will kick off, Covid be damned!

There are a mutitude of storylines heading into the season. Will the Taipei Personality come anywhere close the dominance they displayed last season? Can the Philadelphia Dark Side back up the constant trash talk of the offseason? Will the Indy Animal's 4 year run as one of the dominant teams come to the end after a seemingly disastrous draft? All of this under the cloud of the pandemic possibly causing a premature end of the season.

The answers to these questions and others will begin to be answered on Thursday when the season kicks off at 8:30pm.

The 2020 IFFL Season is a Go!! - Aug. 04, 2020

Bedford, IN -  It is draft time once again. The Taipei Personality are hopefully over their collective hangover from their title celebration and the rest of the league is anxious to move ahead to the 2020 season.

Well that time comes on August 29th. That's right, in a mere 27 days the IFFL will be holding its 25th draft. Here's hoping that real world stuff won't intrude on another great, competitive season!

And the 2019 IFFL Champion is... - Dec. 24, 2019

Taipei City, Taiwan - Congratulations to the Taipei Personality on their first IFFL Championship! Taipei has been searching for the title since entering the league in 2002. They've shown well over the years with solid regular season, but playoff success has eluded them.

Until this season. The Personality were in control all season long, capping it off with another dominant performance in Super Bowl XXIV. The Philadelphia Dark Side showed strong all season long, but injuries during the playoffs ultimately hurt them as they fell to more talented and healthy team.

26 Nov. 2024
  • Sources in Los Angeles say there is “real optimism” that the Lords can complete their playoff push despite being on the edge of elimination. Owner Jason Beaver was overheard boasting, “The rest of these teams don’t have a championship pedigree like the Lords. They’re just window shopping while we’re crafting rings.” Bold words for a team that needs everything to go right in Weeks 13 and 14.

  • Rumor has it in Indy that “nothing is wrong” with Jayden Daniels’ ribs, despite the QB’s lackluster performances of late. Skeptics, however, point to his recent hesitation on scrambles and deep throws as evidence otherwise. “His ribs are fine,” claimed an insider. “His confidence, though? That’s another story.”

  • Our source in Chicago confirms that RB Austin Ekeler will likely miss Week 13 after sustaining a concussion. This is another blow to the Ditkas, who have had as much success this season as a broken slot machine.

  • New Whiteland’s QB Gardner Minshew has suffered a season-ending broken collarbone. Team management released a statement saying, “We’re devastated for Gardner, but at least he’ll have plenty of time to perfect his mustache for 2025.” With Minshew out, the Chicken Pluckerz’ playoff hopes have been plucked clean.

  • Tequila’s injury report is overflowing: WR Romeo Doubs has been ruled out for Week 13 with a concussion, and RB J.K. Dobbins is being evaluated for a knee injury sustained in the fourth quarter of Week 12. “It’s like we’re being sabotaged by the fantasy gods,” said one frustrated fan.

  • Making matters worse for New Whiteland, RB Brian Robinson Jr. is reportedly dealing with an ankle injury and may either miss or be severely limited in Week 13. “We’re one injury away from recruiting from the local high school,” joked one source close to the team.

  • South Carolina’s WR woes continue as yet another wide receiver is down: George Pickens is expected to miss 2-3 weeks with a shoulder injury. Owner Trevor Harless was seen pacing the sidelines muttering, “This WR curse has got to end. Can we field a team of just RBs and tight ends?”

  • New Delhi QB Brock Purdy is projected to return in Week 13 after recovering from a shoulder injury. Fans are cautiously optimistic, with one saying, “Purdy’s comeback is like putting a new engine in a car with no wheels—it’s great, but where are we going?”
Nov. 13, 2024
  • Sources in New Delhi report that a serious, late push for RB Kenneth Walker was politely — or not-so-politely — rebuffed. The would-be buyers were ready to cough up three draft choices, but New Delhi clung to their backfield star. Maybe they're holding out hope for a miracle or just hoarding running backs for fun.

  • Rumor has it that South Carolina is pacing anxiously, waiting for WR Mike Evans’ hamstring to cooperate. “We just need one wide receiver who can run without wincing,” quipped an unnamed source within the Scarecrows’ organization.

  • Our source in Chicago hints that the Ditkas may be experiencing a little buyer’s remorse over their shiny acquisition, QB Caleb Williams. “Flashes of potential” have been followed by periods of, well, flashes of questionable decision-making. And to rub salt in the wound, they’re now down a 2025 first-round pick. Perhaps not the grand slam they envisioned.

  • Sources in Philly say the Dark Side was burning up the phone lines right before the deadline, trying to land a workhorse RB from both Hartford and New Whiteland. But they struck out twice — both teams held firm, and now Philly’s playoff dreams rest on their current backfield. "It wasn’t for lack of trying," an insider remarked, "they were persistent."

  • Christian McCaffrey was apparently the hot target for one desperate team before the deadline, but the late-breaking negotiations ran out of time. Our source couldn’t get the details since this deal was super last-minute, but whoever it was can keep dreaming of CMC while he suits up for Cincinnati instead.

  • Indy staffers tell us that RB Tyrone Tracy is officially on the "hot seat" after two goal-line fumbles in Week 10 that could have — should have — been touchdowns. “We need these wins, Tracy,” said a visibly annoyed coach. Let’s hope Tracy has been practicing his grip this week.

  • Our source in Tequila reveals that TE Sam LaPorta is undergoing further tests after his shoulder took a hit at the three-yard line late in Sunday’s game. “He’ll be back — eventually,” said a member of Tequila’s medical staff, who seems to be taking the “we’ll see” approach.

  • Word from Tabbi’s is that RB Chuba Hubbard’s left knee took a hit in the first quarter Sunday, and he’ll be sitting out Week 11. The Kats are scrambling for replacements, and fans are praying that Hubbard’s knee heals up for the playoff stretch.

  • Sources in South Carolina report that RB Aaron Jones, who took a nasty rib shot in the third quarter on Monday, will be playing through the pain. The Scarecrows insist that Jones is tough enough to handle it, and rumor has it he’ll be padding up to keep his ribs intact.
Nov. 09, 2024
  • Sources in Philly report that the Dark Side are actively working the phones to bolster their ground game and maybe snag a WR before the playoffs. “We’re building a galactic empire here,” says one source close to the team. But insiders wonder if there’s anyone left in New Delhi willing to pick up the call.

  • Rumor has it, Chicago WR Drake London took a victory lap a little too enthusiastically after his second-quarter touchdown, tweaking his hip in the process. While it looks like he’ll be back in Week 10, he had to sit out the rest of Week 9's game to “conserve energy,” according to the Ditkas' ever-optimistic trainer.

  • Our source in LA confirms that WR Chris Olave has entered concussion protocol following Week 9's face-off with Tequila. He’s slated to return in Week 13, giving him some extended R&R. Word is the LA locker room will be a lot quieter for a few weeks, as Olave recovers in peace.

  • Breaking news from San Antonio: WR CeeDee Lamb injured his right shoulder, sidelining him for at least two weeks. The Mexican’ts were just getting a taste of playoff hopes for the first time. “This shoulder blow hurts...in more ways than one,” an anonymous source close to the team lamented.

  • From the New Delhi rumor mill: I’d be shocked if the so-called “Trio of Trade Bait”—Rhamondre Stevenson, Travis Kelce, and Aaron Jones—are still Subs by the end of next week. One rival GM noted, “If Pete Shaunki’s goal is to make the world his trading partner, he’s definitely got that down.”

  • Philadelphia WR A.J. Brown suffered what’s believed to be an MCL injury during Week 9. While no official statement has been released, insiders suggest his return isn’t likely until Week 13. This puts a dent in Philly’s playoff drive, but sources say the Dark Side is used to playing the long game.
Oct. 30, 2024
  • Sources in Hartford report that Patrick Mahomes was overheard in the locker room muttering, "Doesn't anyone love me?" after weeks of being on the trade block with no serious suitors. Hartford owner Chad Allen was later seen trying to reassure him with a heartfelt PowerPoint titled "Why You’re Still My QB1 (For Now)."

  • Rumor has it that the recent trade between Philadelphia and Hartford involving Josh Jacobs was born out of desperation—specifically, Philadelphia’s panic to cling to the division lead. "We needed a boost, even if it meant giving away our 2025 first-round pick," said Philly's owner Avan Beaver, adding, "It's only the future; what could go wrong?"

  • Our source in New Delhi claims owner Pete Shaunki is still trying to trade away his entire team before the November 12 trade deadline. One anonymous owner said, "If I get one more offer that includes 12 players for my backup kicker, I’m blocking him."

  • Insiders in Los Angeles reveal that owner Jason Beaver has put Joe Burrow and any of his wide receivers on the trading block. "No one is safe," said Beaver, dramatically adding, "If my grandmother played fantasy football, she'd be up for trade too."

  • Sources close to Taipei and New Whiteland suggest that either team could play kingmaker in this year’s IFFL championship by trading away key assets. "We're not making the playoffs, so why not stir the pot?" said an unnamed owner with a twinkle in their eye.

  • Our source in South Carolina reports WR Stefon Diggs is out for the season with a torn ACL. Owner Trevor Harless was seen furiously googling "unbreakable wide receivers" and muttering, "Just once, can I have nice things?"

  • Whispers from South Carolina indicate QB Jordan Love's hamstring injury shouldn’t keep him sidelined for long. "Minimal game action missed," said Harless. "Which means maximum stress for me, thanks."

  • Reports from New Whiteland confirm that RB Jordan Mason has a shoulder injury and is expected to be out for 3-5 weeks. Owner Kevin Julbert commented, "He’s going on my ever-growing list of 'Things I Pretend Aren't Real' right next to playoff hopes."

  • Rumors out of Cincinnati suggest RB Christian McCaffrey could make his return in two weeks following his calf muscle strain. "The calf is looking good," said McCaffrey, "and so am I, just in case anyone was wondering."
Oct. 22, 2024
  • Sources in Hartford report that QB Patrick Mahomes is on the trade block. After a rough start to the season, Hartford is apparently shopping their star quarterback for the right package. An unnamed source said, "When your best player isn’t getting it done, you throw him on the market and hope someone bites. Also, maybe toss in a WR because Mahomes can’t throw it to himself.”

  • Rumor has it that New Delhi WR Brandon Aiyuk has suffered a torn ACL and is out for the season. The Subs can’t catch a break—well, unless it’s breaking news that another player is done for the year. Owner Pete Shaunki commented, "We knew this year was cursed, but it’s starting to feel personal now.”

  • Our source at the massage parlor (yes, the same one you’re thinking) confirms that free agent QB Deshaun Watson tore his Achilles during a visit. Reports say he’s out for the season. "You can’t make this stuff up," one insider said. "But, at least now he has all the time he needs for... recovery."

  • Sources close to Tabbi's Kats reveal that WR Deebo Samuel has come down with a pneumonia-like illness. “Just when we thought our season couldn’t get more unpredictable, Deebo decides to go all Victorian era on us with pneumonia,” said a league insider.

  • Word from South Carolina is that WR Stefon Diggs has been placed on the trade block due to inconsistent play. Owner Trevor Harless was overheard saying, "If he’s not going to show up on game day, maybe he can show up on someone else’s roster.”

  • Indy insiders whisper that QB Jayden Daniels has a rib injury, but he’s not expected to miss any time. “The testing is just a precaution,” one source said. “But knowing Indy’s luck, expect them to pick up a backup kicker just in case.”

  • Reports out of San Antonio suggest that WR DK Metcalf has an MCL sprain and is expected to miss 4-5 weeks. “It’s a blow to their offense,” said an anonymous team insider. “But, considering it’s San Antonio, they’ll probably turn it into motivation for a 5-game winning streak.”

  • South Carolina sources confirm that WR Rashid Shaheed has been placed on IR after knee surgery, ending his season. Owner Trevor Harless lamented, "We’ve lost enough players to form a decent roster in their own right. Maybe they’ll win more games.”

  • Whispers from Hartford reveal that WR Curtis Samuel has a shoulder injury, and the timeline for his return is TBD. "He didn’t return to the game this week, and when you’re trying to trade for Patrick Mahomes, adding a WR to the deal sounds like a solid plan,” said an insider.
Oct. 18, 2024
  • Sources in New Delhi report that Rhamondre Stevenson’s role may be in jeopardy. The buzz is that the Subs are considering a demotion after a string of underwhelming performances. One source even hinted, "Stevenson might want to brush up on his special teams skills."

  • Rumor has it that South Carolina’s WR Rashid Shaheed is dealing with a knee injury that could sideline him for 4-8 weeks. Scarecrows fans might want to start getting comfortable with the phrase “next man up.”

  • Our source in Taipei reveals that Tyjae Spears is nursing a hamstring injury and is expected to be out for 2-3 weeks. With the Personality’s backfield already stretched thin, this news hits harder than a truck-stick on Madden.

  • Speculation is swirling in San Antonio about whether Anthony Richardson will finally be cleared to play in Week 7. However, whether he actually gets the start is still up for debate. As one insider noted, “The medical staff is optimistic, but the coaches? Not so much.”

  • South Carolina’s backfield woes continue, with RB Travis Etienne listed as week-to-week due to a hamstring injury. For a team already struggling, this feels like the fantasy football gods adding insult to injury.

  • Sources within Indy have confirmed that star WR Marvin Harrison Jr. is in concussion protocol and will miss at least Week 7. With their WR corps thinning out, the Animals might be searching the practice squad for a solution—or a miracle.

  • The latest out of LA suggests that WR Ricky Pearsall is preparing to return to practice after recovering from a gunshot wound. Miraculously, there’s talk he could make his debut as early as Week 9. An LA insider noted, “This guy’s tougher than our playoff odds.”

  • New Whiteland insiders reveal that RB Jordan Mason is likely to miss Week 7 due to an AC Joint sprain. Without him, the Chicken Pluckerz are left scrambling to find a dependable RB option in a backfield that’s starting to resemble a M.A.S.H. unit.

  • Word from New Delhi is that James Conner has suffered an ankle injury and will miss multiple weeks. This could be a big blow for the Subs, who are already thin at the RB position. “Let’s just say it’s not the ideal situation for a team already struggling to put points on the board,” one insider commented.
Oct. 12, 2024
  • Sources in New Delhi are buzzing that Aaron Jones will be sidelined for 2-3 weeks with a hip injury. This leaves the Subs scrambling to keep their playoff hopes alive, especially since they might also be without Rhamondre Stevenson.

  • Rumor has it that Tequila Sunrise RB De'Von Achane is out for 1-2 weeks after suffering a concussion. Tequila's playoff push may have hit a speed bump without their speedy back.

  • Our source in Tabbi's suggests that QB Josh Allen might be dealing with a possible concussion. His status is TBD, but the Kats are sweating bullets over whether he’ll be cleared to play.

  • New Delhi is reportedly shopping RB Kyren Williams to multiple teams across the league. Pete Shaunki is looking for WR help and might package Williams in a trade to bolster his receiving corps.

  • Inside Hartford, whispers are that WR Nico Collins will be sidelined for 3-6 weeks with a hamstring injury. Losing Collins is a major blow for the Whalers' already struggling offense.

  • Rumor has it in Pittsburgh that RB Zack Moss is out for 3-6 weeks due to an ankle injury. Moss was just getting into a rhythm, and now the Peanut Butter Balls will need to lean on backups to fill the void.

  • Sources inside New Whiteland are reporting that star WR Davante Adams has asked for a trade. Will the Chicken Pluckerz grant his wish, or will they try to mend fences with their disgruntled star?

  • Our insider in San Antonio tells us that QB Anthony Richardson is expected to start once medically cleared from his hip injury, but rumors suggest the Mexican'ts are still considering a backup option just in case.

  • Sources in Los Angeles confirm that the Lords have signed Drake Maye and released Gardner Minshew. The Lords are making some bold moves as they try to maintain their momentum in the West.

  • Word from South Carolina is that RB Jonathan Taylor is likely to miss the upcoming game against Los Angeles. This could be a huge blow for the Scarecrows as they try to avoid a third straight loss.
Oct. 02, 2024
  • Whispers out of San Antonio, QB Anthony Richardson injured his hip this weekend while bending down to pick up his cat. According to our source Richardson’s cat spilled some milk and Richardson stepped in it and lost his footing falling on his hip. It didn't help that Richardson then got up, took a step and the cat was under his feet and tripped him again; he now has a hip pointer bruise that might just keep him out of the week 5 matchup vs New Delhi. Expect SA to sign journeyman Joe Flacco soon.

  • Rumor has it that another team has made a run for LA WR Justin Jefferson. Sources tell us that the Lords are still not ready to make any moves thinking the team can get itself right and make the playoffs.

  • Sources in Tiskawa, tell us that WR Rashee Rice’s knee is still too swollen to make a determination on whether or not the ACL is torn the hope is that the swelling goes down this week and they can get him an MRI however, the bigger question has to be about the mental stability of Josh Allen who was the cause of Rice’s injury.

  • Sources tell us that Personality WR Malik Nabers will miss this week's return matchup with LA due to a concussion, the same goes for RB Saquon Barkley who was concussed during the game last week as well.

  • Our source in South Carolina tells us that RB Johnathan Taylor will miss the week 5 game with a high ankle sprain. No word on where his ankle got the pot that got him that high.

  • Talk in LA says that swiss army knife Taysom Hill will miss a few additional games with a Rib injury. Hill, who made his season debut in week 4 sparked the Lords to an insurmountable lead before leaving the game in the second quarter.

  • Sources in Tequila tell us that QB Justin Herbert re-injured his ankle this weekend when he was inadvertently hit on the sideline during the Sunrise win against Taipei.  Justin will be fine but he may stay home during this week's game so he doesnt injure himself further.
Sep. 26, 2024
  • Rumor has it that there are 2 viable options sitting on LA Lords Owners desk for Justin Jefferson.  The first is a trade that should in theory help the Lords out this season, the second would help set the team up for the future.  Now all that is needed is for Jason Beaver to make a decision and pull the trigger.

  • Sources in Tequila tell us that TE Sam LaPorta is scheduled to miss 2 -3 games with an Ankle Injury, the injury happened at halftime Sunday when he was standing up from the toilet.

  • Staying in Tequila rumor has it that QB Justin Herbert is questionable this week with a high ankle sprain. With the start of the season going as well as it is, we expect Tequila to shut down Herbert for a few weeks until he is healthy again.

  • Whispers out of New Delhi tell us that WR Devonta Smith did infact suffer a severe concussion. Smith will be out 2  weeks at the least.

  • Sources in New Delhi tell us that TE Trey McBride suffered a concussion in practice and is in doubt for the week 4 game against LA.

  • Sources tell us that there is a chance that CIncinnati RB Christian McCaffrey will be shut down for the season after meeting with a specialist in Germany.  McCaffrey has been heard saying that “He longer wants to be in Cincinnati” and this is a ploy to get him traded to a bigger team within the IFFL.

  • Rumors are running rampant that Chicago ownership is going to stay the course and keep starting Aaron Rodgers at QB over future of the franchise Caleb Williams.  “Caleb is going to be great, but Aaron is the veteran presence that we need right now” said owner Shadd Wright.
Sep. 18, 2024
  • Sources tell us that the New Delhi Subs a popular team in the trade rumor category is making the rounds looking for a bonafide #1 WR, they feel that is what they are missing and they have enough complementary pieces they can make it happen.  The question is how long will it take? Rumors have it that they have reached out about CeeDee Lamb and Justin Jefferson, amongst others.

  • Our team insiders in New Whiteland tell us that QB Tua Tagovaiola will be put on the injured reserve.  Tua’s extensive concussion history is well documented and highlighted by a few scary moments.

  • The same sources in New Whiteland tell us that there is talk about IR for Isiah Pacheco who broke his fibula on Sunday while leaving in a walking boot on crutches.  Pacheco was a key piece to the puzzle for the Chicken Pluckerz last year and will be sorely missed this season. The 1-1 Chicken Pluckerz will be looking to Zach Charbonnet, and Jordan Mason to fill the void.

  • Sources in Indianapolis tell us that WR Cooper Kupp will miss the next 5-6 weeks with a high ankle injury, the team is reportedly bringing in free agents to attempt to fill the void left by Kupp, the good thing is heralded rookie WR Marvin Harrison Jr went off in week 2 with 2 scores and 130 yards.

  • Whispers out of Philadelphia tell us WR AJ Brown who injured his hamstring on Friday in practice will probably miss the week 3 game against San Antonio as well.  Brown was heard telling reporters that he will more than likely miss the week 3 matchup as well.

  • Our sources in Tequila tell us that WR Amon-Ra St Brown has an undiagnosed Knee injury and there is no timeline yet for his return.  Owner Jeff Dixon has placed him at about 40% to play in week 3.  Not good, not good at all, that tackle made my knee act up, I felt like I had just tore my ACL for the 3rd time.

  • Our Pittsburgh sources tell us that RB Joe Mixon will miss 3 weeks after injuring his ankle in week 2.  It's a high ankle sprain, our source tells us and we know that only 15% of players with this injury miss no time.
Sep. 09, 2024
  • Insiders tell us that South Carolina QB Jordan Love  has an MCL sprain and will likely miss 3-6 weeks with his return slated for a Week 4 return against Los Angeles.

  • Our sources close to the Kats, tell us there is no reason to worry about Josh Allen’s non throwing hand the QB was seen leaving the X-Ray room yesterday after the game but they are adamant that he will not miss any time.

  • Our sources tell us that WR Puka Nacua who left the Hartford game in week 1 with a reaggravation of his knee injury from training camp, will most likely miss 4 weeks as the team contemplates whether or not he should go on IR.

  • An unnamed source in Philadelphia, has told us that TE Jake Ferguson will miss 5-6 weeks with an MCL injury with a bone bruise. It was feared during the game yesterday in which Indy stormed back to win after the Ferguson injury that it was an ACL tear and he would be gone for the season.

  • We hear that RB Kenneth Walker III has an undisclosed Abdomen injury that will likely force him to miss 2 weeks.  New Delhi team doctors are being very tight lipped about the injury so we will have to wait until the injury reports come out for week 2.

  • Our source in New Whiteland tells us that WR Rome Odunze is scheduled to get an MRI on his left knee.  It is feared that he has torn an ACL but our experts tell us that it’s likely an MCL injury.

  • League sources tell us that Cincinnati WR Jordan Addison has suffered a high ankle sprain in the win against LA in week 1 and his return is undetermined at this time.  The injury was feared to be much worse than what it was; however, he was able to walk into the training rooms today in Cincinnati.
Sep. 04, 2024
  • Sources tell us that Hartford Whalers QB Patrick Mahomes is the apple of at least one team’s eye.  The record setting QB has been the talk of being traded in a blockbuster deal with New Delhi who after less than a week is already looking to sell on their season.

  • We are hearing rumblings out of Scarecrow offices that the team is looking to update and modernize their logo while nothing is confirmed, we should hear something official very shortly.

  • Sources tell us that LA WR Ricky Pearsall should make a full recovery; he is out of the hospital and healing no major organs were injured in the shooting.

  • From multiple league sources, be weary of Indy K Tyler Bass, his time may have come he has been erratic this preseason and during camp and the team is growing frustrated, this after his season last year and how he cost the Scarecrows home field advantage in the playoffs.

  • Sources tell us that Ja’Marr Chase and the Los Angeles front office has intensified talks to get the dynamic playmaker a new deal before the season kicks off on Thursday at home v Cincinnati.  Our sources indicate that Chase would like to be paid 1 penny more than teammate and highest paid receiver Justin Jefferson.

  • Our sources say that MarShawn Lloyd is back practicing after missing some time with a hamstring injury; he will be ready for week 1 if the team so desires to use him.

  • Our man on the inside in Chicago tells us that QB Caleb Williams has absorbed the playbook and is ready to make history for the Ditka’s this year, of course if Williams falters the team has Aaron Rodgers, part owner, waiting on the sidelines to rescue the team.
Nov. 08, 2023
  • Sources close to Tequila tell us that the team is still getting  offers for Amon-Ra St. Brown. The offers are being immediately rejected as the team is now back into the thick of the wildcard fight. The team is hoping they can get into the playoffs after having a terrible year last year and a rough start to this season.

  • Sources tell us that the New Delhi Subs might be regretting the early season fire sale or they are flummoxed by how a fire sale can actually make the team better.  Being one game out of 1st place in the East has to make the question their draft strategy.

  • A little birdie tells us that an offer has been made to New Whiteland for Mark Andrews.

  • We’re hearing from our sources in San Antonio that the team is glad they stood firm and did not trade Pat Friermuth earlier this season. With Dallas Goedert going down for 4 weeks with a broken forearm he will certainly be needed at a high level.

  • Sources close to the LA Lords tell us that there is a 75% chance that Justin Jefferson returns this weekend from his hamstring injury.

  • We hear that South Carolina is going to stand pat and not make any more deals. This is the team that is either going to take them to the playoffs or die trying.

  • We hear that Cincinnati had an amazing offer for Christian McCaffery and it was seriously thought about taking it. The team would have gotten 3 players/picks for CMC and they were all premium returns.  It's unclear whether or not the trade was accepted then rescinded or if they declined straight away.
Oct. 29, 2023
  • Sources close to Tequila tell us that the team was offered Jaxon Smith Njigba and a draft pick for Amon-Ra St. Brown, the offer was immediately rejected, no counter offer nor should there have been just straight rejection.

  • Sources tell us that things are heating up on the Austin Ekeler front, LA made an offer to Cincinnati for Breece Hall and Jahan Dotson but they were rejected and now we are getting reports that the Dark Side might be involved in something for Ekeler.

  • A little birdie tells us that conversations between South Carolina and San Antonio are taking place in the hopes that San Antonio will get rid of Dallas Goedert.

  • We’re hearing that Tequila feels they can still play spoiler this season and crush some teams hopes and dreams. That should start this week against LA who they face again in Week 10.

  • Sources close to the Chicken Pluckerz tell us that the team is staying focused and not looking ahead to their week 11 matchup with LA. They are taking it the proverbial one game at a time and that has been the case all year, in fact we hear that none of the players have the full schedule they only get the team they play that week.

  • We hear that the decision to have surgery was easy for Anthony Richardson however the Mexicant’s tried their best to persuade him to rehab and come back this season, but to no avail. The team was not looking forward to signing the likes of Desmond Ridder to replace him on the roster.

  • We hear the Kats are not looking to make any moves and will stand pat this season, they feel they have the team that can repeat but they just have to play up to their potential, which they are not doing at this time.
Oct. 19, 2023
  • Sources close to New Whiteland tell us that the team is aware they are one Tua Tagovailoa concussion away from relative obscurity. This team goes as Tua goes, now they just have to make sure no one hits Tua too hard.

  • Sources tell us that Philadelphia is looking for a deal to keep them relevant this season. They could be looking for a new WR.

  • A little birdie tells us that Pittsburgh is not taking anything for granted; they started 0-3 and have since won 3 straight. They play South Carolina this week and feel like they could make it 4 in a row and widen their lead in the East.

  • We wonder if the Tequila Sunrise and Chicago Fightin’ Ditka’s will follow New Delhi’s lead and start selling off all assets not nailed down. While we wouldn't think that a full fledged fire sell is in order, they might still be helpful to some teams in their quest to win the Riesbeck trophy this season.

  • Could we see Austin Ekeler be traded? Our sources in LA tell us that might be the case as the team is looking to strengthen their RB/WR situation.

  • We hear that there is some talk in Cincinnati of making a move and bringing in a WR upgrade for Jahan Dotson.

  • We understand that Taipei QB Deshaun Watson was ruled out during pregame warmups when a bottle of massage oil was knocked on the floor.  Watson came in and slipped on it causing a slight dislocation of his throwing shoulder. Back up QB Kenny Pickett was previously ruled out while undergoing a hand transplant to increase the size of his comically small hands.
Oct. 12, 2023
  • Sources close to New Whiteland tell us that Davante Adams may be more injured than previously stated by the team. In week 5 Adams was mostly a decoy against the Sunrise, although he did have a few big drive sustaining drives, which might have all but sunk the Tequila playoff hopes for 2023.

  • Word out of Los Angeles is that WR Justin Jefferson has pulled his hamstring and will not play in the week 6 match up against his former club South Carolina. No word on any possible funny business going on between Jefferson and the Scarecrows, however this has to be looked at as one of the reasons LA went out and secured Ja’Marr Chase’s services at a kings ransom.

  • We hear that QB Anthony Richardson left the Domestic Violence Bowl Sunday out of mad respect for the Scarecrows Organization. Our source close to Richardson said, “Anthony grew up a Scarecrow fan and as such he didnt feel right going out and slicing up the Scarecrows in this game. He will probably make this injury look good and take week 6 off and be back in week 7."

  • Sources close to the Hartford Whalers tell us that there may be trouble brewing with Rhamondre Stevenson and his ineffectiveness. Owner Chad Allen is not the type of owner you want to keep disappointing as he will not hesitate to sit you on the bench for performance issues, see Alvin Kamara in 2022.

  • Medical sources in Tequila tell us that De’Von Achane is being evaluated for a possible serious knee injury which would really hamper the revamped rushing attack from the team, which would hurt the Tequila chances at returning to the playoffs in 2023.

  • We’re told team officials in Chicago are especially excited about Justin Fields and what he is doing in Chicago this season. The team feels he is a dynamic talent and all around good guy, the type you want in the locker room. The question now becomes can they win games with Fields at QB.

  • League sources are all asking the same question, which is "What is wrong with Derrick Henry?” Henry has played more like a Queen rather than a King this year and its starting to show for the Kats. With their 3-2 record they need King Henry to start showing up on a consistent basis.

Oct. 05, 2023
  • A source close to the New Delhi Subs tells us that the Subs have gotten at least 1 offer for Jamar Chase.  A deal is not imminent as the source tells us he is untouchable at this point in time.

  • Sticking with New Delhi we’re hearing that something is in the works for the Subs as the team leaders have been behind closed doors for the past week and this is usually when the trade offers start to fly for the Subs.

  • Sources from the rumor mill tell us that some major happenings may be in the works for Joe Burrow, he hasn't played up to par this year and he could be dealt at any time. We will have to see if any tentative agreements are finalized in the coming days.

  • We hear a few teams that are looking for QB help have already reached out to Indy Animals to see if they are interested in making any deals for one of their 2 QB’s (Justin Herbert and Kirk Cousins). Knowing the team leadership in Indy, I would expect 1 of them to move very soon.

  • We hear that SA is not about to move any players that they feel will help them win their first championship this year, especially if it is for a player that is at the end of the line or a back up who will not contribute anything.

  • Rumor has it that Tequila has made a few inquiries in the QB market.  The team feels they need to upgrade from Dak Prescott and Jordan Love to make a big splash this season.

  • Were told Aaron Jones has gone to Chicago owner Shadd Wright and asked to be trade. The team is currently looking for the best offer and worst situation for Jones who the team feels like has just given up on them after a very slow 0-4 start.
Sep. 28, 2023
  • Sources tell us that Jalen Hurts was suffering from flu like symptoms in the week 3 matchup against the New Delhi Subs; however he was still able to go out and throw 2 TD’s, put WR Mike Williams in position to tear his ACL, and lead the Scarecrows to the victory. All in all doesn't sound like too bad of a week to me, minus the whole injury thing.

  • Sources in Philly tell us that the Dark Side have no patience and they are already looking for an upgrade at RB. We have offered a few trades and got nothing back yet.

  • We’re hearing word out of New Delhi that average at best WR Jamar Chase is telling anyone that will listen that he is done with the franchise and can't wait for his contract to expire if not sooner so he can leave on the first jet back to the USA. Curry and Rice, more like hurry for the flight.

  • A little birdie from San Antonio tells us the team was excited for Jerome Ford this week as he filled in for Nick Chubb who is out for the season. Although some experts think he could make a late season return the team finally put him on IR, ending his season.

  • Sources in New Whiteland tell us that the team expects the week 3 performance each week from their players, the same source tells us that conversations have started with New Delhi on a trade package that would help the Chicken Pluckerz reach the playoffs and make a deep run in said playoffs.  Let the collusion watch begin again.

  • Sources tell us that Lamar Jackson is having  second thoughts about his allegiance to the Peanut Butter Balls, there is only so much a helmet can do for a player no matter how awesome it is.

  • There are rumblings that the trade market is about to start churning this year. Last year it was in week 4 that the trades started flying and the league was set on its ear with player movement. Let the silly season begin.
Sep. 21, 2023
  • Sources tell us that the Mexican’ts are kicking the tires on RB Jerome Ford after the gruesome season ending injury to Nick Chubb.  The question now becomes is Chubb young enough, and dedicated enough to comeback from the second career threatening injury to his left knee in 5 years.

  • Our source in Hartford tells us the team is shopping Cam Akers for not much more than a bag of footballs and a $50 dollar Waffle House gift card. Let’s see if anyone bites on this deal.

  • Word out of New Delhi is that the team might be looking to stop the bleeding and shop Jamar Chase. It will not be cheap but the team has to do everything they can to avoid going 0-3. Their week 3 opponent South Carolina is not the push over they were last year, so changes must be made and honestly outside of an injured Travis Kelce and Chase the Subs don't have much to offer.

  • Our sources in Pittsburgh all say the same thing, the team is really at a loss as to why they are 0-2.  Said owner Matt Howell, sometimes the good times don't roll and you have to keep on truckin’.

  • Staying in Pittsburgh, the team might be willing to move DJ Moore, Keenan Allen, or Michael Pittman to free up some additional playing time. I think most would consider TE George Kittle as the most precious commodity on the team.

  • Sources out of the league office tell us that the league is considering some monumental changes to the league for the 30th Anniversary season in 3 years. Among the changes being considered are changes to scoring along with changes to the divisional alignment and what they are named.

  • Little birdies in Philadelphia tell us that the team is looking for help at RB. Could a move for the versatile Aaron Jones or Jonathan Taylor be in the works for the 2-0 Dark Side.
Sep. 14, 2023
  • Sources told us on Monday afternoon that the Dark Side were about to tell Jared Goff, that he was being released, however all of that changed 4:04 into the Monday night game when prized QB Aaron Rodgers tore his Achilles Tendon and is out for the season, this is 2 straight games Philadelphia has lost their starting QB.

  • Our source in Indy tells us the team is excited they were able to squeeze out a win against South Carolina, even though it was seemingly easier than they could’ve expected.

  • Word out of Tequila is that the team is not 100% convinced they have corrected all the mistakes from last year, Cooper Kupp will be missing the 1st 4 games of the season, and Javonte Williams didn't seem to be back to normal, but again it's only week 1.

  • Sources in South Carolina tell us that Jonathan Taylor will be back on the field in Week 5. Lets see if this actually happens and it's not guaranteed as the relationship is still fractured, it will be nothing short of a miracle. Harless has to pony up the cash for his best player.

  • Word out of Pittsburgh is that there is nothing wrong with Lamar Jackson, he just had a bad game and was out played by the Taipei Defense.

  • Hartford lost to Philadelphia and their backup QB in week 1 but Patrick Mahomes looked like a player who was not ready to play and it probably had something to do with the fact that he didn't play at all in the preseason.

  • Chicago might be in trouble after JK Dobbins tore his Achilles before Aaron Rodgers did but this leaves a massive hole on the Ditka’s roster and significantly weakens their team for the long haul.
Aug. 30, 2023
  • Sources tell us that the Dark Side have already made contact with QB Kyler Murray. They are very eager to have the star QB back in Philadelphia, but no word on whether the QB wants to be back in Philadelphia though.

  • Contrary to popular belief, New Delhi owner Pete Shaunki wants everyone to know there was nothing underhanded about the Travis Kelce for Davante Adams deal. In fact Shaunki told reporters this week that anyone could have had Kelce had they just made an offer. An audible sigh of BS was collectively let out by the group of owners in the room.

  • Our sources tell us that Pittsburgh was very happy with their draft haul this year, saying something to the effect of, "Nothing could make me happier than to have this team that I have."

  • A little birdie told us that Los Angeles is bracing for their worst season ever. The clubs thinking about going all in last year really affected the draft this season. Trading away their 2nd, 3rd, and 4th round selections and falling just short of their 4th title was not in the plans.

  • Word coming out of San Antonio has the team also making contact with QB Kyler Murray. He has to be looking at the team with some optimism now after the draft but their history has to be holding him back from going all in, or does it?

  • A little birdie told us that Taipei is very excited to get the season underway. After having completely fallen apart last year down the stretch they feel like they have something to prove and want another shot at the Riesbeck Trophy.

  • Sources tell us that South Carolina may be looking to go with more 2 TE sets this season and really punish the defense by running the ball right up the middle of the field. We will see how this 1940’s style offensive attack works.

  • Lastly, the Bagels are making some noise this year for having the quietest offseason in a long time. The team tasted success last year, but had a solid if unspectacular draft and now might have to be very active on the Waiver Wire and trade markets to keep success going after last year's dream season.
Dec. 29, 2022
  • Whispers out of New Delhi tell us that owner Pete Shaunki is wondering what happened to RB Joe Mixon. He came out of the gate with 5 TD’s and didn’t do anything after the 1st week. "He just kind of disappeared," said Shaunki.

  • Sources in Philadelphia have been very silent about the story that we broke last week. The official change of power will occur on the first minute of the new league year or the 1st of August. The new owners will then be responsible for getting their people in place and the draft strategy under control. It is yet to be seen if the Marleigh will want the team after Avan has gutted the draft picks this year in a failed attempt to win the Super Bowl.

  • Sources at Animals HQ say the team is very happy with the progress Jameson Williams made this season in returning from his torn ACL he received in college during the national championship game. He will be a force next season.

  • Sources in New Whiteland have said that owner Kevin Julbert intends to return to the team next season. "There are no truth to the rumors that I intend to sell or move the team in 2023."

  • Sources tell us that rumors that San Antonio was looking for someone to sell the team to were patently false. They were started by Tanya Harless to get Chad Allen to say something stupid and sexist. We believe that she was trying to stoke the war between Allen and the Kats to make the Super Bowl more exciting for her.

  • Whispers out of Los Angeles tell us that there is a hyper secretive meeting between the owners scheduled for Friday when they are all in town for the game. Anyone not available to be there will be required to be on video call and be an active participant. There is no information about what the commissioner wants to discuss with the owners, but we are sure its important to take this step.

  • Sources tell us I have ran out of things to say in this column, until 2023 I bid you adieu.
Dec. 22, 2022
  • Whispers in Hartford say that Chad Allen has taken up residence in his suite waiting for the game against Los Angeles this weekend.  "This is East division football at its finest," stated one staffer referring back to when Los Angeles was in Maryland and a part of the East division landscape for years.

  • Speaking of the Salisbury Snappers, sources in LA tell us that the team is working with Nike to design a throwback Snappers uniform to wear next season in week 13 and 14, in honor of the last back to back champions in the IFFL. The 2010 and 2011 Snappers.

  • Sources within the Cincinnati organization are telling us that the team is looking to make some changes to the stadium next year, the big new change is to fly in New York City Bagels for every home game and a giant cream cheese dispenser.

  • Sources in Pittsburgh laughed at the above statement as team owner Matt Howell knows that no one will ever be able to hold a candle to their uniforms.  "Our uniforms will forever be the best of the IFFL."

  • Sources tell us that South Carolina owner is in San Antonio this week however there is no truth to the rumor that he is attempting to negotiate a win in the domestic violence bowl in 2023.

  • Whispers out of Philadelphia will not confirm nor deny that owner Avan Beaver made a bet with his younger sister, Marleigh Beaver, to take over his team if he had a worse season than his dad’s team, the Los Angeles Lords. Looking over the free agent list the other night Marleigh decided that Davis Mills will be her QB1 next year when she takes over the team from her brother.

  • Sources tell us the deal between the siblings is unprecedented in the history of the league.
Dec. 15, 2022
  • Whispers in the building around Tabbi’s Kats say they are stressing about the fact that they still have unfinished business from last year, as they made and lost the Superbowl. This year the goal remains to win the Superbowl.  There is no truth to the rumor that Tabbi stated , “I’ll be damned in hell if Chad Allen and the Hartford Whalers beat me this season in the Superbowl.” Well folks, there you have it , the gauntlet has been thrown down for the Whalers and honestly the rest of the IFFL as well.

  • The greatest fears of Philadelphia's Front office became a reality today as QB Kyler Murray has torn his ACL. He will have surgery on the injury this week then have until August to rehab the knee.  The good thing is that he will have about 6 weeks straight to play Call of Duty before starting rehab after surgery.  What will young Avan Beaver do at QB going forward?

  • Sources within the Cincinnati organization tell us that the team is very disappointed that they had the 2nd best record in the league this year and yet they will have to settle for the wild card game against Taipei this weekend.  The good news is the game is in Cincinnati, the bad news this is a rematch of the Week 14 drubbing that the Bagels handed the Personality to boot them from the Division Champion to the #5 seed.

  • Sources in New Delhi tell us that the team is on their way to Los Angeles for their wild card game against the Lords. New Delhi is not taking anything for granted this week after having lost to the Lords earlier this season in Los Angeles. One of the reasons cited was fatigue after the team didn’t leave until Friday morning to head to Los Angeles, they are taking it more seriously this time around.

  • Sources tell us Sunrise staffers are taking the playoffs off and then they will come back together to start draft prep on all the players that could be in this upcoming draft, as the team will have the #1 overall pick for just the second time in team history.

  • Whispers out of South Carolina state that owner Trevor Harless is pretty disappointed, as his team had the 5th highest amount of points in the league this year but are missing out on the playoffs.  There is no confirmation as to whether Harless is kicking his own ass after trading Justin Jefferson to Los Angeles for Aaron Jones way back in week 3.

  • Whispers out of the league office tell us that there will be some rules changes on the books to take affect next year if they can pass through the competition committee and other rules committee’s.
Dec. 08, 2022
  • Sources out of Hartford tell us that owner Chad Allen has once again doubled down on his anti- female ownership stance. Starting way back in the early ‘00s, Allen has always been steadfastly against female owners in the IFFL and has made his feelings known to anyone that will listen to his misguided feelings for over two decades.

  • Whispers out of Los Angeles indicate that the team is preparing as if this will be the last game of the season for them. They have a show of unity and the team is ready to play this week against Philadelphia.  They are there for their owner.

  • Sources tell us that it is not guaranteed that RB Joe Mixon will play this weekend for New Delhi. The subs will need Mixon if they are to make the playoffs so maybe it is right for them to let him rest this week to be ready if they make the playoffs.

  • Sources tell us Kyler Murray will play for the Philadelphia Dark Side this week. He was unable to stand last week or he would have played then as well.

  • Sources claim that Johnathan Taylor will not play this week, nor will Aaron Jones, as they are both taking a mental health day this week which was afforded to the players in the CBA.

  • Whispers out of Chicago say the team is very happy they will not have the 1st pick in the draft.

  • Word out of New Whiteland telsl us that the team, which has been eliminated from the playoffs, is looking to play spoiler this week against New Delhi.
Nov. 27, 2022
  • Sources tell us that Philadelphia and New Delhi have traded insults about their week 11 game. It has all been in good fun, but the league has been made aware and they are tracking the situation.

  • Whispers out of Los Angeles tell us that JK Dobbins is close to returning from his knee injury and ready to reinsert himself in the lineup, as a starting running back, on a playoff team.

  • Sources also tell us that Ja'marr Chase is back on the practice field and ready to come back to the team.

  • Sources tell us Kyler Murray should be back for the Philadelphia Dark Side this week. He has made tremendous strides with his hamstring injury.

  • Sources tell us that Kyle Pitts injury is going to be season ending unless the Animals make the Superbowl this season. With Pitts and Goedert both out the team has some serious injuries right now.

  • Whispers out of Chicago say the team is very happy with the win this week. The win shows that they are following the blueprint owner Shadd Wright has laid out for the team to get them back in the playoffs next year. Even cutting Melvin Gordon III is part of the plan for Wright, who additional sources tell us grew weary of the running backs fumble issues in critical situations this season.

  • Word out of New Whiteland claim that the team is still feeling very confident that they will be in the thick of it come the end of the season.  "We are going to just keep playing our game and win out, finish 8-6 and let the rest work itself out." Hartford, Philly, and New Delhi better watch out as it sounds like New Whiteland is ready to make a real push for the playoffs this season.
Nov. 17, 2022
  • Sources tell us that there was a trade offered 48 hours after the trade deadline last week. Our source told us that “its ok, the offer sucked and we just laughed at it.”

  • Whispers out of Tequila are saying that WR Cooper Kupp’s ankle may require surgery and that is why the team has put the player on the IR for the rest of the season.  He has stated he will be back next season and ready to go.

  • Sources claim that Tequila will also make a move to put RB Khalil Herbert on the IR, or give him an injury settlement and release him outright. Herbert injured his hand in last week’s loss.

  • Sources tell us that the Scarecrows have changed their focus to playing the spoiler over the last few weeks of the season. The problem is they keep winning, which gives them hope, which is the worst thing you can give the Scarecrows. Keep your eyes peeled on the East Division.

  • Sources tell us that Philadelphia is feeling very confident going into this week’s game against the Subs.  "Really, we aren’t worried about who they have playing, we know that if we play to our game plan the results will take care of itself."

  • Whispers out of San Antonio tell us that the focus for the team right now is to right the ship and finish 7-7 which is a very real possibility.

  • Sources indicate that Los Angeles QB Joe Burrow will return this week against the Bagels in Los Angeles. Burrow who took a mental health day last week against the Personality is feeling refreshed and ready to go for the final 4 weeks and playoff run.  We really need to make some changes to the way we play this sport.
Nov. 09, 2022
  • Sources tell us that there is a proposal to keep the IFFL trade deadline at the current week 9 while there is a competing proposal to move it back to its usual Tuesday night post week 8.  There is still a 3rd proposal that would see the trade deadline go into effect in week 5. That will surely lose.

  • Whispers out of Los Angeles tell us that Joe Burrow will not play this week citing mental fatigue. The decision has been made to allow Burrow to take the week off this week to prepare for the rest of the season.  Sources tell us there is nothing but confidence in back up Russell Wilson this week.

  • Sources tell us that there was a last-minute, last-ditch effort to pry RB Dalvin Cook out of the hands of Pittsburgh.  That effort was rebuffed though.

  • Sources have told us that there were 2 unanswered attempts to get TE Travis Kelce from the New Whiteland ChickenPluckerz this season.  There was no comment from New Whiteland, this reporter is shocked!

  • Sources tell us that Philadelphia is feeling very confident with this weeks game against the Kats. "They don’t have their QB so why shouldn’t they win this game," an unabashadly cocky Avan Beaver said.

  • Whispers out of South Carolina say the team has resigned itself to the way this season is going to end.  "We gave it our all, and that is the most important thing at this point, now to prepare for this upcoming offseason," stated owner Trevor Harless.

  • Sources within the Hartford Whalers claim that owner Chad Allen has found his Gilmore Girls DVD’s that IT had hidden from him and is again sitting in his owner's box at night watching Rory and Loralei deal with their issues of 20 years ago.
Nov. 02, 2022
  • Sources tell us that the San Antonio owner, when asked about the teams first win over noted he-man woman hater Chad Allen’s Whalers, was quoted as yelling "Suck It!" might’ve been taken out of context by those who didn’t hear the whole thing.  We will hold our breath on this one as" Suck It!" seems perfectly appropriate from Mrs. Harless.

  • Whispers coming out of the league offices say that there are still multiple teams very interested in being buyers at this point in the season. Philadelphia, New Delhi, Los Angeles, and Indy must be four of the teams looking to keep making upgrades and add players for depth.

  • Wow! I think we were totally hood winked with the Chicago being buyers not sellers at the trade deadline this season. In the last 48 hours Chicago traded McLaurin, Murray, and Ingram. They got and traded Chris Olave during that time, and have made it known that Joe Mixon, Austin Ekeler, and Darren Waller are the only ones that will not be traded.

  • We hear that Los Angeles are still trying to improve the TE room. We hear there is a premium offer out there to be accepted or declined. However, they may want to make a bigger and splashier attempt at the position.

  • We hear that New Delhi is sniffing around CeeDee Lamb. The well-traveled Lamb is back in a position to team up with Dak Prescott. The problem is that the Subs are offering a player for player deal that would net the Mexican’ts a low-end RB who is in a battle for playing time at his position. Could it be that New Delhi ownership is regretting turning down the Jefferson for Chase deal with South Carolina earlier this season?

  • We hear that South Carolina is still looking to make some moves and buy players. They have looked at their schedule and just said it looks like a rainbow of cupcakes until the end of the season.

  • We hear that the league is looking into what may be belligerent behavior by one of it's owners towards Whalers owner Chad Allen. Our source, who was supposedly in the room at the time, said there was a string of expletives thrown at the Whale's beloved leader during an alleged phone call Sunday afternoon.  It was not good, they told Chad to go find some Gilmore Girls episodes to watch. More to come on this story.
Oct. 28, 2022
  • Sources tell us that the news out of New Delhi about WR Jamar Chase might be more serious than the predicted 4-6 weeks. It appears that Chase is suffering from Butt Hurt syndrome, the cause being that the team is actively trying to get Davante Adams more targets.

  • Whispers coming out of Philadelphia say the team may be looking to trade Amari Cooper. The same sources say that one team is very interested in adding depth to the WR room.

  • We’re hearing that Chicago still believes they have a chance to make the playoffs this year and instead of being sellers, they are actually looking to bring in a few key pieces. Lets see if they can swing a few deals to improve the team.

  • Los Angeles certainly has some great players in their midst this season, too bad the injury bug has followed them. In back-to-back weeks RB’s JK Dobbins and Ezekiel Elliott have gone down with knee injuries, add in the toe injury to Michael Thomas and one has to wonder how they continue to survive week after week.

  • Leaked documents from the league office, show that there was no wrong doing by Tanya Harless when she asked for WR Mike Evan’s autograph during halftime of last weeks game. It was simply a previous employer needing him to sign an NDA about the inner workings of the Mexican’ts organization.

  • Indy Animals TE Kyle Pitts is likely out this weekend v San Antonio and will not travel with the team due to an undisclosed injury.

  • The IFFL trade deadline is bound to be a flurry of activity this season. It is fast approaching make sure to get your offers and counter offers in before they deadline passes.
Oct. 05, 2022
  • Sources tell us that San Antonio WR DK Metcalf took the cart to the locker room on Sunday to go to the bathroom.  This has since been confirmed by Metcalf tweeting “That Clinch Walk wouldn’t have made it.” There has been no comment from the team about Metcalf being fined.

  • Sources in Philadelphia confirm the team is looking for a partner so that they can deal starting QB Matt Stafford. The team is looking to solidify the QB position and make a move for another WR.

  • Insiders from Tequila say the team is not in a panic to replace Javonte Williams who went down with an ACL injury Sunday.  The team plans to look at all their options and decide what to do later this week.

  • Team sources in Chicago tell us the fire sale is on hold for right now.  Winning changes a lot of perspectives and the win this week has changed the mind of Shadd Wright.  Murray and Ekler are still on the hot seat; it's just cooled off temporarily.

  • Whispers out of Hartford say that the team is happy with the defense and how they are playing as a unit this season.  The problem is that the offense has been very erratic. Some wonder if letting Lamar Jackson walk was the smartest decision, even if they got Patrick Mahomes out of the deal.

  • Sources inside the Kats tell us that the team is staying positive, understanding it’s a long season and teams like Los Angeles and Cincinnati are just flashes in the pan.

  • Sources from New Whiteland tell us that there has been a flurry of activity surrounding Travis Kelce but at this time nothing has been simply irresistible.
Sep. 28, 2022
  • Sources in Los Angeles tell us the team is still evaluating WR’s and may make an additional move or 2 and soon before the trade deadline.

  • Our South Carolina sources tell us that the team is ready to pull the plug and fire sell everyone they have, to try to build for the future.  What a difference a week makes as Jefferson may now be available for the right price.

  • Team insiders in Cincinnati, tell us that Christian McCaffery came out of the game against the Kats as a precaution, they do not expect him to miss time, however, with his history it should not be overlooked that he is hurt again.

  • Sources in Harford tell us that owner Chad Allen commended the reaction to the loss to the Subs from OC Ken Dorsey this week.  “He should have been pissed! Did you see how terrible we played this weekend; it is completely unacceptable to lose to those sandwiches,” said a clearly frustrated Allen.

  • Whispers in Pittsburgh tell us the team is about to make an offer for TE Travis Kelce and New Whiteland is going to be on the clock. Will they accept? Or will they reject the offer and keep one of the best TE’s in football on a team not going anywhere this season.

  • Our sources tell us that New Delhi has fielded offers both for Jamarr Chase and Davonte Adams this week.  One of the offers was a mega 5 player offer that would’ve netted the team 2 RB’s, 2 WR’s to help replace the losses and a 1st round draft pick. To say it would have been a blockbuster is an understatement, it would have changed the face of the league.

  • Insiders in Philadelphia say the team is looking to make an upgrade but they understand that the team chemistry is very tenuous and they are trying to make the right moves, not just a move to get a new better player.

  • Staying in Philadelphia, the team's RB corps is now a position group of strength for the team and not a weakness.  With the emergence of Chris Olave the team is looking very good for the rest of the season.
Sep. 22, 2022
  • Sources in Los Angeles still say the team is evaluating the WR corps each day. They are watching the waiver wire and this space looking to make a deal. “We have draft capital. We have running backs (young or old), take your pick and we have the will to make a deal.” However, we still hear that nothing is in the works currently.

    • Our sources in South Carolina tell us that the team is ready to pull the plug and fire sell everyone they have to try to build for the future. Jefferson is just about the only player on the team that is untouchable.

    • Staying with the Scarecrows for a moment, Irv Smith Jr actually caught a pass last week. He is still a mighty fine blocker though.

    • Sources in New Whiteland, imply that the team maybe willing to part with TE Travis Kelce for the right price, but they aren’t talking about that price.

    • Little birdies in Cincinnati tell us the team is looking to fortify their roster in hopes of making a playoff run this year. After this week we will know if they are buyers or potential buyers in the near future.

    • We hear that Russell Wilson’s job as QB1 might not be too safe in New Whiteland and that Tua Tagovailoa is nipping at his heels for the starting job. Tua has been excellent in practice and “B” Team games, posting 469 yards and TD’s in week 2’s scrimmage.

    • We hear that trader Pete is getting up to speed after week 2. Sources saythere was a deal in play for Jamar Chase to move to Philadelphia for Najee Harris and a 1st round pick. While Philly front office personnel were getting the #1 jersey ready for him to arrive, the Subs pulled the old bait and switch and updated the deal to Davante Adams, which Philadelphia was not ok with under these terms. Can these 2 work it out and come to an agreement? Only time will tell.
Sep. 18, 2022
  • Sources tell us that San Antonio is content to move forward with Jameis Winston and bring in a Street FA QB to back him up until Dak returns.  Our source also indicates that Colin Kaepernick might finally make his return to the league after many, many years.

  • Our sources in Los Angeles say that Owner Jason Beaver is not happy with the play of the teams WR group last week. He is looking to make a deal to bring in a talent laden receiver who can make the team a threat.

  • Tequila was not happy with their TE’s and today signed OJ Howard to beef up the position.  I can think of a few other positions that need to be improved as well.

  • Sources tell us that there is nothing wrong with Cincinnati WR Devonta Smith. Reports that Smith is unhappy with the team and the city are patently false.  If you watch the tape from Sunday, CB Jaylon Johnson smothered Smith so Lawrence really had no chance to get him the ball.

  • Another nugget of information out of Tequila says, the team has not considered demoting Cam Akers after his week 1 performance of 0 yards.  The team is just chalking it up to coming back from a knee injury and knocking the rust off. Confident team officials ended the email with “Cam will be back and better than ever.”

  • Philadelphia sources tell us there is nothing wrong with Najee Harris and that he is completely recovered from the broken foot from this season. The team usually plays injuries close to the vest, so we will see if anything else develops out of this story.

  • We’re told that nothing has changed with the South Carolina philosophy of the TE being a bonus position. For years they have built up strong receiver and runner position groups, while they have largely forgotten the TE. With Irv Smith, Jr. it looks like the tradition will continue, but at least he is a good blocker.

  • Let’s see how long it takes for Trader Pete to get underway this season. Sources confirmed that he has already started to call around to see if he can get a younger, better, arguably upgradable version of Aaron Rodgers. For a man that made all his money in IT, upgradable seems like a very fitting term.
Sep. 10, 2022
  • Sources are telling us that there was almost a blockbuster trade before the IFFL draft this year. New Delhi and Los Angeles officials were very close to a deal that would have sent QB Joe Burrow to New Delhi for 2 picks and a player, rumored to be Davante Adams but the teams could not finalize the deal before New Delhi got cold feet.

  • Sources from Tabbi’s Kats are downplaying the revenge factor in their week 1 game against New Delhi. “There is not any truth to the rumors circulating that the coaching staff will be fired if they lose the game. We absolutely will not have the replacement staff in the owner’s box for the game.” Take that for what you will but we stand by the story that they are gone if the Kats lose Thursday night.

  • News out of Taipei says Andrew Wang Chung is reportedly not happy with his clubs early season schedule. “We keep flying to the States, then Taipei, then the States. Can’t we just get 4 games at home, 4 on the road, something along those lines?”

  • Coming straight out of Philadelphia (who?), the team is looking to improve at TE and has had 4 or 5 FA players in for tryouts this week. Our source tells us that they have been using TE Zach Ertz at slot receiver.

  • Sources in Chicago tell us that they are looking to move on from Austin Ekeler. Publicly though, the team is stating that they are immensely happy with his attitude and fitness level this season. Lets hope he stays healthy and the team doesn’t do anything drastic.

  • Sources at the league office tell us that the league is looking into expanding the playoffs to 7 teams, only giving a bye to the top team. There will be no changes this year, but the change may be implemented in 2023. Also the change of making sure each team carries 2 QB’s, 2 TE’s, 2 K’s, and 2 Def’s will be made official at next year’s draft.

  • Sources close to Peanut Butter Balls owner Matt Howell tell us that the team is looking at insuring all their players after the attempted carjacking of Rookie RB Brian Robinson. The carjacking has left him unable to play for an undisclosed amount of time. Robinson was highly sought after from the pre-draft camps.

  • Lastly, our team spies in Philadelphia (who?) are still bitter that they are not able to bring back the award for best uniform and helmets, as they feel they would finally take the crown from cross state rival, Pittsburgh. I guess we will just have to see in week 1 if the Dark Side can smash the Balls.
26 Nov. 2024
  1. I think congratulations are in order for Philadelphia.
    Winning the East Division is no small feat, and they’ve done it in dominating fashion. The Dark Side truly embraced their Sith tendencies, force-choking their competition into submission. The Force is strong with this team.

  2. I think Los Angeles is a very dangerous team right now.
    Sure, the Lords’ playoff hopes are slimmer than a piece of floss, but Jason Beaver’s squad has turned into a Terminator-like force. They’ll need a lot of help to sneak in, but if they do, beware—they’re playing like they’ve got nothing to lose. Spoiler alert: they don’t.

  3. I think South Carolina must be allergic to the playoffs.
    Early in the season, the Scarecrows looked like a lock to be a postseason contender. Fast forward to now, and it’s like they’ve developed a sudden rash whenever the word "playoffs" is mentioned. If they’re trying to avoid postseason football, they’re doing an excellent job of it.

  4. I think Indy Owner Q is a lock for GM of the Year.
    Let’s give credit where credit is due—Kevin "Q" Ryburn has made all the right moves, and his confidence in starting rookie Jayden Daniels has paid off. Indy’s rise has been nothing short of meteoric. From the depths of despair to Central Division dominance, it’s like a Cinderella story but with fewer pumpkins.

  5. I think Joe Burrow (LA), Ja'Marr Chase (LA), and Saquon Barkley (Taipei) are the MVP frontrunners.
    All three have been electric this season, carrying their respective teams on their backs. Burrow and Chase have been a deadly duo, while Barkley has been the one-man army Taipei desperately needed. If this were a beauty contest for stats, these guys would be the cover models.

  6. I think the funniest thing from Week 12 was New Delhi accidentally winning.
    The Subs had one job—lose to keep their draft position pristine. Instead, they took the Honey Mustard Game from Hartford in what can only be described as the clumsiest attempt to tank in IFFL history. Somewhere, Owner Pete Shaunki is muttering, “We can’t even lose properly.”

  7. I think the Central Division will be decided this weekend.
    Tabbi's Kats and Indy Animals square off in what’s essentially a title fight for the division. If Indy wins, they’ll go from worst to first—a rise that would make even Rocky Balboa jealous. The pressure is on, and the Central is about to get spicy.
Nov. 15, 2024
  1. I think we should all be thankful the trade deadline has finally passed, forcing New Delhi to stop trading players for picks. Look, Pete, we tried this strategy last season, and you’ve got a 2-8 record to show for it. Maybe next year it’s less "trade-everyone-and-draft-everything" and more "better scouting, fewer picks."

  2. I think this is the best season for Pittsburgh in ages. Honestly, I can’t think of a time when they’ve been this relevant this late in the season. The Peanut Butter Balls are spreading themselves all over the playoff race, and it’s... surprisingly tasty.

  3. I think both New Whiteland and Los Angeles have to be feeling the pain of high expectations. Coming off strong seasons, the Lords and Chicken Pluckerz both look like they’ll need every miracle in the book to make the playoffs. And yes, the book on miracles is overdue.

  4. I think I’m liking the Indy Animals for a potential championship. They’re sneaking under the radar while everyone’s watching the flashy contenders, and they’re poised to make a solid run when it counts.

  5. I think Philadelphia is looking pretty unstoppable in the East. With a little help this week, the Dark Side could clinch a playoff spot, leaving the rest of the division in... well, the dark.

  6. I think the trade of the season goes to Philadelphia’s move for Josh Jacobs or Tequila’s surprise deal for Patrick Mahomes. Both came out of nowhere, both boosted their new teams, and both have left rival GMs wondering why they didn’t think of it first.

  7. I think it would be a mistake to take your eyes off the South Carolina Scarecrows. They’re flying just under the radar, keeping a sharp eye on what could be their third IFFL title. Trevor Harless is surely envisioning his next trophy... and hoping it won’t be the only “domestic victory” this season.
Nov. 09, 2024
  1. I think the upcoming trade deadline on Tuesday, Nov 12, at 11:59 PM EST will tell us who’s about to panic and who’s doubling down on their playoff dreams. Get ready for some last-minute trading chaos – nothing says “calculated strategy” like frantic, 11th-hour swaps.

  2. I think Pittsburgh’s surprise push for a playoff berth this season is nothing short of miraculous. It’s like finding a fully loaded fantasy roster hiding behind a wall of peanut butter. Can they keep it together, or is this the classic Pittsburgh setup for a thrilling crash and burn?

  3. I think New Delhi’s journey from “most talented roster” to “fire sale central” has been the most underwhelming storyline this season. Shaunki is hoarding draft picks like they’re Pokémon cards, but will this just mean another year of stockpiling players who ultimately disappoint? Or, as some are speculating, will he change his approach in 2025, or is this just another setup for déjà vu?

  4. I think Los Angeles has decided to go down with the ship this season, setting them up for what could be the worst season in the franchise’s 28-year history. It’s like they’re accepting defeat before halftime – maybe they’re already thinking about the 2025 draft? LA needs more than a miracle at this point, but hey, stranger things have happened.

  5. I think San Antonio is looking at its best season yet, and they’re eyeing the Western Division title like they’ve finally found the secret sauce. But let’s be real – do they have what it takes to go all the way? Sure, they’re leading the West, but the playoff pressure has a way of reminding you that being “pretty good” doesn’t always cut it.

  6. I think Philadelphia is inching closer to taking over the “league favorite” status. At 7-2, they’re likely still on the hunt for a last-minute deal that could turn them from playoff hopefuls to flat-out title contenders. If Philly can pull off one big move, they might just solidify their spot as the team everyone’s rooting against.

  7. I think Cincinnati might be the team to worry about if McCaffrey is indeed back this week. With their roster getting healthier at the perfect time, they’re looking primed for a late-season surge. Rested and ready, Cincinnati’s not the team to underestimate – they might be lurking now, but they could be the playoff wrecking ball no one saw coming.
Oct. 31, 2024
  1. I Think We’re Two Weeks Away from the Trade Deadline, and the Air Smells Like Panic. The trade deadline is approaching, and you can almost hear the sound of panicked button-mashing from owners trying to squeeze out last-minute deals. Will the trades make sense? Unlikely. But that’s what makes this league great. Get your popcorn ready, folks.

  2. I Think We’re About to See Some Fire Sales That Make Yard Sales Look Like Sotheby’s. You know that moment when a team owner realizes their playoff hopes are more imaginary than a unicorn riding a rainbow? That’s when the fire sales begin. I won’t name names, but cough New Delhi and Los Angeles cough are looking mighty suspicious.

  3. I Think Philly, Tequila, and Pittsburgh Are Eyeing the Trade Market Like It’s Black Friday. These teams smell blood in the water and are getting ready to shop like it’s 5 a.m. and the doors just opened. Philly’s already shown they’ll trade their grandma for a chance at the playoffs, and Tequila will throw in a salt rim and lime just to sweeten the deal. Pittsburgh? Well, Matt Howell might need a wake-up call first (more on that in a second).

  4. I Think Matt Howell Is Asleep at the Controls of Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh owner Matt Howell has exactly one active wide receiver on his roster. I’m not saying he’s fallen asleep on the job, but if he’s making trades, it’s probably in his dreams. Howell, if you’re reading this, it’s time to set that alarm clock and hit the waiver wire—or at least remember that your team exists.

  5. I Think Chicago for all they do might just be willing to trade their players. As long as they are not named Williams, Allen, or Thomas you might just have a good chance at grabbing a very productive player.

  6. I Think Los Angeles Is About to Host a Yard Sale That Includes Joe Burrow. There are a few teams sniffing around Burrow and I believe Beaver, will ultimately sell on his once franchise QB to give him another shot at a title.

  7. I Think New Whiteland, Taipei, and Cincinnati have to decide if they are going to buy or sell, these teams are on the cusp of a playoff berth these teams specifically are looking at 1 or 2 players from being real contenders to take the trophy this year.
Oct. 26, 2024
  1. I think South Carolina might actually believe they can win the Domestic Violence Bowl. Look, I get it, the Scarecrows have a winning record and are feeling good, but history—and the Harless household—aren’t on their side. Despite their record, they still have a knack for dropping the ball (literally and figuratively) whenever San Antonio shows up. Something about losing to your wife just hits different, huh?

  2. I think Avan Beaver needs this Father-Son Bowl win like his fantasy football credibility depends on it. And it might. Philadelphia is up against the Los Angeles Lords, managed by his dad, Jason Beaver. With LA’s miserable season, this should be Avan’s chance to finally get one over on his old man. But if he doesn’t, he may never hear the end of it. LA has been everyone’s punching bag this year—if Philly can't take advantage, they might as well pack it up.

  3. I think the New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz and New Delhi Subs matchup is the "Nobody’s That Bad... Right?" Bowl. Both teams have been scraping the bottom of the standings, but here’s the fun twist—one of them could start a winning streak! Imagine that, a two-game run for either team, and suddenly we’re talking about playoff contention... okay, not really, but a guy can dream.

  4. I think Patrick Mahomes might be packing his bags mid-game against Tequila Sunrise. Hartford’s star QB has been the center of trade rumors all week. I wouldn’t be surprised if Chad Allen pulls a mid-game "business decision" and benches him to keep him healthy for any last-minute deals. Hey, a franchise QB for sale doesn’t come around often, even if it’s for a team that broadcasts Gilmore Girls on their jumbotron.

  5. I think Tequila Sunrise should send a bouquet of flowers to the Hartford defense. With Bijan Robinson primed to run wild and JK Dobbins looking for a comeback performance, it’s hard not to feel like Tequila’s offense is about to have a field day. It’s nice when you have an opponent that’s so generous with their yards—makes the victory all the sweeter!

  6. I think we need to appreciate the San Antonio Mexican’ts and their quietly good start. At 5-2, they’re flying under the radar, but you know what they say: every team looks good until they play someone they actually respect. South Carolina’s Trevor Harless hasn’t figured out the formula to beat his wife, and honestly, why start now?

  7. I think New Whiteland’s recent trades are proof they’ve already given up on the season. Trading away Davante Adams to New Delhi just smells like waving the white flag. And honestly, I can’t blame them; when you’re already 2-5, you might as well start planning for 2025... or 2030.
Oct. 18, 2024
  1.  I think New Whiteland is officially considering a fire sale after their 1-5 start. If you’re looking for bargain-bin deals, Kevin Julbert has opened shop. Rumor has it, he’s even willing to throw in a complimentary chicken dinner with every trade—because if you can’t win, you might as well eat well.

  2. I think New Delhi’s Rhamondre Stevenson might want to clear out his locker space a bit. Being demoted from the starting lineup is rough, but when your coach tells you, “Just try not to fumble during warm-ups,” you know it’s serious.

  3. I think San Antonio’s 4-2 start is starting to make people wonder if this is their year. Sure, they’ve had hot starts before, but this time the team claims they’ve “done the math” and are “90% sure” they can avoid collapsing in the second half of the season. Honestly, if they don’t blow it, it’ll be the biggest upset of the year.

  4. I think South Carolina might be regretting their choice to sign Jonathan Taylor. It’s like getting a shiny new sports car that spends more time in the shop than on the road. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if Taylor ends up becoming a full-time cheerleader for the Scarecrows’ sideline.

  5. I think Tequila Sunrise needs to change their team name to Tequila Hangover. The highs of their wins are quickly followed by the headaches of their injuries. De’Von Achane’s concussion is the latest blow, and they might need more than lime and salt to get through the next few weeks.

  6. I think Philadelphia Dark Side’s locker room must be one of the most zen places in the league. Jalen Hurts is casually throwing dimes, A.J. Brown is doing A.J. Brown things, and the team is 4-2 without a single dramatic headline. It’s almost unsettling—where’s the chaos we all crave?

  7. I think Taipei might want to rename their backfield the "Hamstring Express." With Tyjae Spears out, they’re running out of bodies to put in at RB. Andrew Wang has reportedly been seen in local parks scouting amateur flag football players. At this rate, a “Help Wanted” sign isn’t far off.
Oct. 13, 2024
  1. I think New Delhi Subs’ owner is the IFFL equivalent of a late-night infomercial — “But wait, there’s more!” Rumor has it they’ve sent trade offers to at least 4 or 5 teams trying to land a wide receiver who can actually catch passes and isn’t just out there for cardio. Brandon Aiyuk’s one-handed heroics are getting lonely. When asked about the trade frenzy, one rival owner joked, "At this point, New Delhi is offering more trade proposals than Amazon offers delivery options." Someone, for the love of football, throw them a lifeline.

  2. I think South Carolina is spiraling out of control, and by "spiraling," I mean they’ve reached that level of free fall where even Tom Petty would say, “Wow, that's a long drop.” After two straight losses, Jordan Love seems to be doing his best impression of a quarterback who’s lost both his Wi-Fi connection and the playbook. Owner Trevor Harless insists, "We're not panicking," but the fact that he said it while fidgeting nervously and eyeing the exit door tells a different story.

  3. I think congratulations are in order for the entire league — we made it out of  Week 5 with no winless teams! It’s the little victories, people. Chicago Fightin’ Ditkas and New Delhi Subs both managed to find the win column, which is like discovering a $20 bill in your jeans pocket. It’s technically yours, but you’re still a little surprised it’s there.

  4. I think Tequila Sunrise might be the most dangerous 3-2 team in the league. With Justin Fields and Alec Pierce getting their groove on, this squad feels like that unpredictable friend who shows up to poker night and somehow wins big without ever knowing the rules. Word is that Tequila Sunrise owner Jeff Dixon has been sipping on actual tequila during games, which might explain both the high-risk trades and the recent winning streak. “It’s my secret sauce,” he slurred in victory.

  5. I think Pittsburgh Peanut Butter Balls owner Matt Howell deserves a medal for managing to score 69 points last week. Not only did they completely dismantle South Carolina, but they also found time to make fantasy football slightly immature again. The only downside is that no one can ever take that team seriously for the rest of the season.

  6. I think the Los Angeles Lords are rolling, and it’s starting to feel inevitable. Three weeks ago, this team was fumbling and stumbling, and now Joe Burrow is throwing darts and Ja’Marr Chase is catching anything within a mile radius. If they win their third straight game next week, Jason Beaver might just throw a parade in L.A. — and who are we kidding, it’s L.A., they’ll throw a parade for anything.

  7. I think the biggest surprise of Week 5 was that Tabbi's Kats managed to squeak by Cincinnati Bagels by a single point. The Kats, led by the power duo of Josh Allen and Derrick Henry, somehow escaped what could have been a catastrophe, with Henry later commenting, “We had no business winning, but hey, a win is a win.” Ain’t that the truth.
Oct. 02, 2024
    1. I think Justin Jefferson is getting packed into a very fancy suitcase and shipped out of LA soon.
      Look, the Los Angeles Lords are 1-3, and Jefferson’s hamstring is hanging on by a thread. Rumor has it, they’re shopping him around the league like he’s a rare collectible that just might fund their retirement. Will they get three first-rounders, or just a sad collection of backup RBs and some regret? Either way, I think Jason Beaver is already scouting for bubble wrap to send with him.

    2. I think the New Delhi Subs are holding a clearance sale.

      Everything must go, folks! Pete Shaunki has tried fire sales before, but this time it feels like he’s really ready to put a match to it all. At 0-4, Kyren Williams and Brock Purdy are giving him just enough hope to stay competitive, but we all know he’s eyeing a complete rebuild. I hear there’s a coupon code for 50% off Rhamondre Stevenson—act fast!

    3. I think Indy Animals are one good trade away from running the league, but I think they don’t know it yet.

      They’ve got Jayden Daniels, Jahmyr Gibbs, and the ghost of Cooper Kupp haunting the sidelines, but something tells me they’re going to panic and bring in a kicker like it’s the missing piece to their championship puzzle. Don’t be surprised if Kevin Ryburn announces, "We just traded for Justin Tucker; this is the move that’ll take us to the promised land!"

    4. I think Tequila Sunrise is acting like the cool kid who just found out they can be invited to the playoffs.

      At 3-1, Jeff Dixon is cruising with his Amon-Ra St. Brown knee updates ("He’s at 40%! No, 30%! Wait, 45%?") like a guy who’s not sure if his car has gas but keeps driving anyway. They’ll either ride Justin Herbert into playoff glory, or Dixon will be taking up knitting by Week 10.

    5. I think South Carolina is about to hand out an owner's manual for managing chaos.
      The Scarecrows are 3-1 and rolling, but with Jordan Love on the mend and Jonathan Taylor trying to carry the team, Trevor Harless is going to need a playbook straight from the “How to Survive a Meltdown” manual. And let’s be honest, he’s probably already engraved his name on the league trophy and placed a small offering in the cornfield for good luck.

    6. I think New Whiteland Chicken Pluckerz are trying to figure out how to un-injure half their roster.
      Rome Odunze, Isiah Pacheco, and now Kyler Murray seem to be on some sort of IR rotation system. By Week 6, they’ll be holding open tryouts in the local park just to field a complete team. But hey, they’ve got Zach Charbonnet, who’s a great piece if you’re building a future instead of winning games right now.

    7. I think it's time to say a prayer for the undefeated teams in the IFFL as South Carolina and Indy both lost this week.  Have no fear though Chicago and New Delhi both lost so there are still winless teams in the league.

Sep. 21, 2024
    1. I think it would be reckless for South Carolina to play Jordan Love this week after being injured 2 weeks ago. The question is, is it a smart thing for the club to bring him back so quickly?

    2. I think Indy is a very surprising 2-0 team. Can they keep it up? Cooper Kupp going down with an ankle injury is an issue.

    3. I think that Isiah Pacheco’s injury might be the best thing for New Whiteland it clears out some space for the others to play, where as I think the Deebo Smauel injury for Tabbi’s is the worst thing to happen to them as there is no real backup plan at this time.

    4. I think the Kat's Cole Kmet will slide into that spot left open by the Samuel injury.

    5. I think New Delhi and Los Angeles could make a deal soon to get some much needed help for their teams.  "This is our moment to turn the season around. We’ve got the talent, and it’s time to put it all together." says New Delhi Owner Pete Shaunki.

    6. I think New Whiteland having to put Tua on the IR and sign Daniel Jones is heartbreaking for a fanbase that has been looking for a 6th championship since 2011. However this might be a good thing now the Chicken Pluckerz can get Kyler Murray on the field more going forward which could be a good thing as Murray is a much better runner and his head is not made of play-doh.

    7. I think I have a good shot at getting 3 of 4 semi final teams right this season, what was I thinking with the Los Angeles pick. 

Sep. 12, 2024
    1. I think Taipei is going to be much better based on week 1 than what I gave them credit for. A balanced and deep the only thing that can stop then is Tyreek Hill’s driving.

    2. I think I might’ve been sleeping on the Scarecrows and their championship chances week 1 shows just how good they can be if Jordan Love stays upright and healthy.

    3. I think LA has to protect the football, Joe Burrow, and home field advantage better that was an abysmal showing against the Bagels in week 1.

    4. I think Josh Allen is really, really, really good at football.

    5. I think if not for Taipei, Tequila would be the runaway winner of the West, hell Justin Herbert played like Joe Burrow but the Sunrise still won the game convincingly.

    6. I think after week 1 I am hoping this is not the year of the kicker. 8 Kickers had more than 10 points lead by Jake Moody with 20 against the Subs.

    7. I think the CMC injury has to be investigated by the league. How did Cincy not communicate to the league that he would not play, something fishy is afoot and commissioner Dixon must do something about the subterfuge.

Sep. 01, 2024
    1. I think that was an epic 2023 season, Los Angeles repeated their appearance in the Super Bowl, overcame a 16 point first quarter deficit to hand Cincinnati a 0-1 Super Bowl record. The Lords won their 4th title moving them into sole possession of 3rd place all time in the IFFL behind Tequila and Austin/New Whiteland.

    2. I think this season the East Divison looks like this: South Carolina,  New Delhi, Philadelphia all battle for a playoff spot. I would say Hartford with some good play outside of Mahomes will be able to make a run, but for Pittsburgh this looks like a long season.

    3. I think the Central Division will play out something like this: Chicago, New Whiteland, Tabbi’s all battle for a playoff spot.  CIncinnatii and Indy will need to make some moves as they have glaring holes on the roster.

    4. I think the West could be a shootout this season: Los Angeles, Taipei, Tequila could all fight for a playoff spot and if Nick CHubb comes back healthy San Antonio will not be a pushover either.

    5. I think ultimately that these 6 teams make the playoffs in 2024: Los Angeles and South Carolina should receive the bye’s, both teams are deep and talented. WIld card weekend will feature Tabbi’si at Chicago and New Delhi at Tequila.

    6. I think The Semi FInals feature Tequila at South Carolina and Tabbi’s at Los Angeles. South Carolina gets some revenge  and The Kats come up just short once again in a loss to Los Angeles.

    7. I think that the battle between South Carolina and Los Angeles for the Super Bowl 29 title will be a battle for the ages, ultimately based on the rosters I like Los Angeles to get their 5th title over and go back to back..

Jan. 07, 2024
  1. I think that was a truly dominant postseason performance by Los Angeles culminating in their 4th IFFL Championship. The team has a great core looking ahead.

  2. I think the Tank-a-thon that New Delhi showed this year almost backfired and got them into the playoffs, however they are sitting very pretty in the draft with 9 picks in the first 3 rounds.  They pick 4th in the first round this August.

  3. I think New Whiteland needs to go back to the drawing board. They had an amazing regular season and finished with the best record in the league only to fall flat on their faces in the playoffs and get taken out by the eventual runners up, Cincinnati, a team they matched up with very well. Back to the drawing board Julbert goes.

  4. I think South Carolina, Tabbi’s, and Taipei should all be congratulated for an amazing regular season. They all have pieces to build upon and return to the playoffs next season.

  5. I think speaking of South Carolina, they have one of the most difficult decisions this offseason. With only 3 guaranteed contracts a question has to be asked if the team keeps QB Jalen Hurts, WR Jaylen Waddle or WR Rashee Rice along with RB’s Travis Etienne and Jonathan Taylor.  Rice made huge strides through the season and is very much a candidate for the return next season.

  6. I think of the teams that didn't make the playoffs, San Antonio has to feel the most disappointed. They always have so much potential and talent on the team but they somehow always tend to miss out on the playoffs, although they did improve by one game this season to finish 6-8.

  7. I think the first pick in the draft has already been decided upon by Indy owner Ryburn, however we have to wait until August to have it made official... unless he throws us a curveball and trades out of the selection.

 

Nov. 08, 2023
    1. I think if the right offer was made then New Delhi Owner Pete Shaunki would probably trade one or both of his children.

    2. I think that the East is probably the most interesting division in the IFFL, but the West is trying to get on their level and if the Central doesnt watch it they will become predictable.

    3. I think speaking of Los Angeles they snapped out of their funk and got a win, now they just have to keep building on that momentum. This week the team plays the resurgent Sunrise but have a chance to send them home with a loss.

    4. Pete top Kevin bottom note of the week: I think this team can't even lose properly, since playing the Lords the Subs have done nothing but win and now the team might be regretting making some of the trades they have made. Good deals but could they be wishing they had the players back?

    5. I think the best GM this season has been LP Couch of the Bagels. Not only have the starters been out of this world, this weekend Rookie QB CJ Stroud steps in the the starters role and just annihilates the ChickenPluckerz out scoring the team by himself throwing for 480 yards. A rival owner says, “He really has the midas touch this year.”

    6. I think this week is the week Kyler Murray will return and put on his Dark Side Jersey once again, leaving the Xbox controller at home and playing real football instead of Madden. The Dark Side needs him now more than ever too as they are in a midseason slump and need to be pulled out of it.

    7. I think the Scarecrows were able to exorcise some demons this week and beat the Kats. Josh Allen is really not fairing all that well this season and now he has a bum right shoulder which makes it worse.
Oct. 29, 2023
  1. I think WOW, did I call the New Delhi upset over Los Angeles. Even without Brock Purdy for the Subs they were able to handle the Lords, I mean it was kind of easy with all the open space Kelce had to run. A career high 179 yds receiving will make everything right in your world.

  2. I think I know Joe Burrow better look like the Joe Burrow of old and quick if the Lords are going to stay on top of the West.

  3. I think San Antonio has a good chance to take out the Personality this weekend and claim sole possession of 2nd place or move into a tie with LA for the division lead.

  4. Pete top Kevin bottom note of the week: I think if they keep winning the note of the week might need to be changed to something like “How the LA Lords suck this season.

  5. I think the story of this season for the Sunrise is about not being good enough. First the QB was not good enough and they made the move to improve it now, the run game is not good enough, but that is more about injuries than lack of talent.

  6. I think the question is now will Kyler or won't Kyler. The Dark Side have said he is healthy, but they are not saying if he will play or not. Jared Goff is a talented player but he is not as talented as Kyler, I guess it will be a true game time decision.

  7. I think South Carolina is looking good, after bitching about the schedule early in week 7, they were able to defeat the Peanut Butter Balls this week.
Oct. 19, 2023
  1. I think looking at the schedule LA has a hard road ahead in the next 8 weeks, with Joe Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase not playing this week against New Delhi. This game is no gimmie. Looking ahead to week 11 New Whiteland comes to town which looks like the game of the year.

  2. I think this season is hanging by a thread for teams like Tequila, Chicago, and New Delhi sitting at 1-5. These teams need to start winning now and for a few weeks in a row. Chicago and Tequila probably have the best chance but bad things happen when you count out the Subs.

  3. I think Bagel RB Christian McCaffrey will be out this week against the Ditka’s but there is a chance he plays on Monday night, the entire city of Cincinnati is praying that his ribs don't get smoked.

  4. Pete top Kevin bottom note of the week: I think we have a ‘Love/Hate’ relationship with these teams; we love when they love, hate when they win, love when they make trades, hate when they trade amongst themselves. The trade between ND and NW this past week of Jaylen Waddle for Brandon Aiyuk is a little much seeing as how Davante Adams already went East from New Delhi.

  5. I think Cincinnati QB Trevor Lawrence plays this week from the sounds of it, he is really rehabbing his knee so that he doesn't miss the game this week.

  6. I think Kyren Williams will only miss a week with his injury, if he misses more then the Lords will have to make some moves as they arent deep enough to handle this injury situation.

  7. I think Kyler Murray is the dynamic piece that Philadelphia is missing and they are looking to have him back sooner rather than later. Jared Goff is a good QB but he is in the wrong situation in Philly.
Oct. 12, 2023
  1. I think New Whiteland sneaking past Tequila this week says a lot about the character of both teams. For New Whiteland it says, "We normally suck but we are changing the culture," and for Tequila it says, "Can we please stop playing Dak Prescott at QB."

  2. I think you will see yet more trades from New Delhi. The team is not very deep and has less talent than most years but if they can make a few more trades, maybe move Kelce and Purdy, the team might have a chance to be set up for the future.

  3. I think the moves by LA for Ja’Marr Chase and South Carolina for Nico Collins are just what the doctor ordered. The teams got the skill sets they needed to make a deep run. Could we see these teams finish the season in San Antonio for the championship? There will be a sneak preview this weekend in LA to warm us up to the idea.

  4. Pete top, Kevin bottom note of the week: I think after all is said and done this season we will have one team that has dismantled from top to bottom, and others who will stay the course. I think in life such as sports, there are always the teams that are humorous and those that always desire to win.

  5. I think the Animals have to be feeling good about where the team is after trading Justin Herbert to the Sunrise. They just need Jordan Love to get a little more self control on those deep shots so that they can get some wins and score more points.

  6. I think it’s an overreaction to count out the Dark Side just yet. Owner Avan Beaver will make the moves needed to get this team back into the thick of things. Starting by welcoming Hartford to Philadelphia this weekend, the team has to overcome their demons quickly to make it happen.

  7. I think new Delhi and Chicago have a good chance to make it 2 wins in a row this week. San Antonio, coming off a poor loss to South Carolina, has to right the ship and get back in the win column.
Oct. 05, 2023
  1. I think LA winning again is totally in spite of Joe Burrow instead of because of him.  Burrow has put up 3 games of 0 points out of 4 so far this season. But they have won 2 of those 3, showing that this is a really scrappy team.

  2. I think San Antonio going to New Whiteland and taking care of the Chicken Pluckerz should be the standard that this franchise strives for and not just a once in a Blue Moon occasion.

  3. At first glance, I think Indy got the better of the Justin Herbert to Tequila deal. While I like the way the deal works for both teams, Tequila got a major upgrade over Prescott and Love but I think Indy got the better pieces to the puzzle. It just depends on how Herbert handles the move.

  4. Pete top Kevin bottom note of the week: I think when looking for a partner, you should always remember that sometimes the person you are eyeing is not a top or a bottom they are a middle who likes to be stuffed from both the top and bottom. Kinda like an Oreo.

  5. I think Los Angeles needs to make a big move ASAP as they are falling behind in the only game they are going to win this year, the rumor mill game.

  6. I think it will be hard for Chicago to win many games this year with their schedule. They just need to start thinking about next year.

  7. I think the Kats and Mexican’ts are back at the top of my power rankings, bringing Girl Power back to the top since 1996. If you ask them its right where they belong.  This will hopefully be a short stay.
Sep. 28, 2023
  1. I think Los Angeles might be in real trouble. QB Joe Burrow is not the same player he was last year; right now, he needs to get right and lead the team the way he did last year so they can stay relevant this season.

  2. I think South Carolina might just be for real this season and they may be a threat come December and the Super Bowl. I mean they beat New Delhii for the first time in like 6 attempts.

  3. I think New Whiteland better hope Raheem Mostert stays healthy and keeps producing like he did in week 3. So far in 2023 he has been the difference between a win and, well, they haven't lost yet.

  4. Pete top Kevin bottom note of the week: I think Davante Adams for Travis Kelce straight up is the reason that Kevin tops Petes bottom this season. I mean the 3rd best fantasy WR for a TE straight up, I wonder if he gave a reach around too.

  5. I think the league should be on high alert after last weeks showing by the Kats, this team is just consistent and they know how to win and with momentum anything is possible.

  6. I think Taipei and SA will fight to the death for the West title while Tequila and LA take a minute to breathe and relax on the beach as they are not going to be a factor.

  7. I think, or hope really, that some owners who never really partake in the trade market start to engage with the league for the sake of improving their teams to make the team a real threat to win a title.
Sep. 21, 2023
  1. I think the story of the week is what will San Antonio do after losing Nick Chubb for the year? There has been speculation that the team will walk out on Tanya Harless unless she ponies up the cash to replace the field turf with natural grass.

  2. I think LA starting 2-0 is almost as amazing as the Nick Chubb story.  The Lords have come together and the team has a new attitude after inserting Kyren Williams into the starting lineup.

  3. I think Pittsburgh, Chicago, Hartford, and New Delhi might want to start thinking about making some lineup changes; they are all 0-2, and moving to 0-3 gives you less than a 30% chance of making the playoffs in that season.

  4. Pete top Kevin bottom note of the week: I think that we might have the name wrong, while Pete was railed this weekend, Kevin was doing the railing so maybe the phrase should be Kevin top Pete bottom.

  5. I think that you will see a lot of teams playing Tyreek Hill and the Personality offense the same way that LA did this past week, the Lords held Hill to 40 yards receiving but they did give up a TD to the Cheetah.

  6. I think that the Kats are in perfect position to pounce on the Central again. The Kats (1-1) take on Chicago at home while the leaders fight for survival in Cincy. I know I can’t wait to get into Cincinnati this week to talk to QB Trevor Lawrence and RB Christian McCaffrey about the changes in the locker room.

  7. I think no one, and I mean no one, predicted that the West after 2 weeks would be the best division in the IFFL.
Sep. 14, 2023
  1. I think that the most amazing thing is that LA was able to pull off the upset of Tabbi’s Kats they just made plays when they needed them and forced Josh Allen into poor decisions all night Thursday night.

  2. I think that Philadelphia might be where QB’s go to die or at the very least suffer season ending leg injuries.  Last year Kyler Murray went down in week 14 to a torn ACL early in the game and Last night in the first qtr Aaron Rodgers tore his Achilles Tendon. What is in store for Jared Goff this week?

  3. I think it might be too early for this but Pittsburgh looks like a huge pretender this season. Lamar Jackson didn't look ready to play and that is typically a bad sign.

  4. Pete top, Kevin bottom note of the week: I think Pete top, Kevin bottom have finally confirmed the rumors and they have added a third which will help them to complete their Eiffel Tower, no word on who will be the base.

  5. I think that Tyreek Hill had better scare teams, and the Los Angeles Lords are next up, he came into the season saying how he was going to gain 2000 yards this season and he started off with 215 yards putting him well on his way.  That LA secondary better be ready for him this season.

  6. I think that I’m not worried about Tabbi’s Kats or San Antonio, those teams are very well rounded and they are well coached and have good leadership. Of course I have made these same statements about San Antonio before they have proceeded to make me a liar, liar pants on fire.

  7. I think Tequila might be having buyers remorse on Dak Prescott but it might be too early to say at this point.
Aug. 30, 2023
  1. I think that 2022 was an exciting season, history was made both for good and for bad. Good history, Tabbi won her first championship. Bad history, the title game was played over 2 weekends because of a freak storm that hit Los Angeles during the 3rd quarter of the game. Hopefully that provision will never have to be used again.

  2. I think this season should be even more exciting. Can Tequila find its way back to the playoffs? Can Tabbi’s Kats for the 3rd consecutive season play in the Super Bowl? Can the Scarecrows build on the end of last season? Will the Mexican’ts continue to suck for no other reason than they hate their own team? Tune in to this space to find out.

  3. I think speaking of the Mexican’ts this team will be primed to win the West Division this year, if and only if the team can get some prime QB play from either Derek Carr or Anthony Richardson.

  4. I think Pittsburgh finally has some talent to go with their awesome helmets.

  5. I think New Whiteland might’ve broken their team already with the Travis Kelce trade.

  6. I think some of the league's owners are smelling collusion after the aforementioned Travis Kelce deal.  As only Pete Shaunki is able to get in touch with Kevin Julbert, after multiple emails went unanswered in 2022.

  7. I think we may have more history in 2023 with an all female final. My choice for this season is San Antonio v Tabbi’s for the championship coming to us live from Taipei, Taiwan.
Dec. 29, 2022
  1. I think the teams that deserve to be in the Super Bowl are in the Super Bowl.  The Kats, Champions of the Central and the best team overall at 12-2 and Los Angeles, the West Champions at 9-5 are preparing for the game now.  It ought to be a fun game this weekend.

  2. I think if Joe Burrow can keep up the pace that he has been on the last 3 weeks it might not matter what the Kats Defense has drawn up for him.

  3. I think with that being said, if Josh Allen plays like Josh Allen is capable of playing the Lords have no shot at winning the game.

  4. I think Hartford and Cincinnati should not feel bad about the losses this past weekend they were beaten by better and more complete teams.

  5. I think the voting for the media’s year end awards will be announced on Wednesday and it is going to be fun to see how each teams media member have voted this year.

  6. I think Philadelphia has to be very happy with the speed with which Kyler Murray is having surgery, it shows that he is about more than Call of Duty.

  7. I think we will see a very deserving champion this week come out of Los Angeles. The question is will the trophy head back with the Kats or stay in Los Angeles.
Dec. 22, 2022
  1. I think this weekend is going to be weird, its cold everywhere and with both games in the north we may see some crazy plays this weekend.

  2. I think Hartford has to be worried after seeing what Joe Burrow did to the Subs last week, but Im sure the defensive staff will have something drawn up to stop him this week.

  3. I think I would be amazed if Trevor Lawrence throws more than one TD this week against the Kats. There is a lot of familiarity with these 2 teams and I’m sure the Kats will come to play and get back to the Superbowl.

  4. I think Hartford has a slight advantage this week against the Lords. The teams are evenly matched, don’t get me wrong, it’s just I feel Mahomes is going to be able to find more space than Burrow will against the Lords defense.

  5. I think New Delhi and Taipei must be disappointed to have lost in the Wild Card round games this year, for both I would think that to compete to the end would be a good motto for them next year. Both teams found themselves ahead in the division going into the last month and both ended up losing the division leads in the process. New Delhi was up by 4 games with 4 to go and they proceeded to lose the division by one game.

  6. I think Chicago has to be happy to know that their talent evaluators are still good, they just need to figure out how to coach it. Austin Ekeler, Joe Mixon you will be sorely missed in the Windy City.

  7. I think Los Angeles and Tabbi’s Kats find a way to win this week and meet up in the SuperBowl in one week in Los Angeles. 
Dec. 15, 2022
  1. I think Tabbi’s Kats and Hartford are seriously at a disadvantage with the byes this weekend. There is some noise that the league may look to expand the playoffs to 8 teams next season and do away with the bye weeks altogether.

  2. I think Philadelphia and Indy would love to have 8 playoff teams as they would both be in the tourney, however South Carolina would still be watching at home.

  3. I think New Delhi has to figure out how to right the ship this week against Los Angeles. They have lost 4 straight games to end the season and they are not looking very hungry at this point in time.  The fans are hoping they come out and play better this week than they have over the last 4 weeks of the season.

  4. I think this will be the best weekend of football since last weekend. The 4 teams playing this week are the ones who survived the long regular season, and now they have a chance to show exactly who got the best of the Chicago players at the trade deadline.

  5. I think Josh Allen is my MVP this season. Leading the best team to the top record in the league 2 years in a row is just amazing. Now he has to show the growth and maturity to bring Tabbi’s Kats their first championship, the first title to be won by a female owner in the IFFL.

  6. I think Hartford or South Carolina would be my vote for best defensive unit in the IFFL and if I had to vote now, I would give my vote to Hartford based solely on the overall team record of the 2 franchises.

  7. I think I have had a blast covering the IFFL for all of you this season and look forward to covering the league again next season. Have a great offseason!
Dec. 08, 2022
  1. I think this is week 14 and the Playoffs are tight there are 6 teams in the race for 2 spots. Someone is going home sad.

  2. I think Tabbi’s Kats may just be the class of the IFFL. 11-2 says it all. Josh Allen will not let this team go easy and they are looking for an opponent to scrimmage on Wild Card weekend so they don’t get complacent.

  3. I think its really sad that after 26 years owners haven't figured out that the IFFL gods don’t like smack talking. New Delhi is in the midst of a 3 game losing streak and on the cusp of missing the playoffs after such a transgression.

  4. I think LA has had a chance 2 weeks in a row to clinch a playoff spot and let it slip away both times. This team now faces a must win in Week 14 against the other Beaver in the league and his Dark Side, who are one of the hottest teams in the league.

  5. I think Hartford leading the East is one of the most surreal things that has happened this year, coming from an owner who has deliberately attempted to miss out on the playoffs with some of the most ridiculous starting lineups in the IFFL this season.  Hartford also leads the league in most points scored on the bench.

  6.  I think there is a better than 50% chance that both Taipei (current division leader) and Los Angeles both make the playoffs. It just depends on the order now.

  7. I think the playoff order will look something like this on Tuesday morning:
    1. Tabbi’s Kats
    2. Taipei Personality
    3. Hartford Whalers
    4. Cincinnati Bagels
    5. New Delhi Subs
    6. Los Angeles Lords
Nov. 27, 2022
  1. I think whenever I say something nice about a team they turn around and lose, so I will no longer say anything nice about the Mexican’ts.

  2. I think Tabbi’s Kats may just be the class of the Central division and they showed it this weekend against the Animals.

  3. I think the age old saying of if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all applies to New Delhi. They were texting some smack talk before the Philly game this weekend, then they came out and laid an egg.

  4. I think the Sunrise have pretty much wrapped up the #1 pick. They would have to win out and hope that Chicago, Pittsburgh, or San Antonio lost out and, quite honestly, the best bet would be Chicago but as we just saw they are not done fighting this season.

  5. I think LA and Taipei will continue to battle it out for the West. LA now has a one game lead and the momentum at this point having won 5 of the last 6 games, with the only hiccup coming against South Carolina who are trying to correct their early season troubles.

  6. I think the Thanksgiving week games will lead to many teams telling us if they are contenders or pretenders. Cincinnati need to correct the ship, Indy needs to win to keep up the pace, Philly, SC & Hartford have to keep winning to keep the hopes alive for a postseason birth.

  7. I think this has been one of the most interesting seasons to date in the 27 year IFFL history.  Who will preside over the league as the 27th champion? Will their be a new champion Tabbi, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, Taipei or will New Delhi repeat? Can LA win their first title in 11 seasons? Will Indy, Hartford, or the longest of long shots, South Carolina, hoist the trophy again? Keep your eyes and ears open as we try to answer these questions in December and January.
Nov. 17, 2022
  1. I think the hottest team in the IFFL resides in San Antonio. The Mexican’ts have won 4 straight games and this week draws a Chicago team that is in a free fall after trading away most of the pieces of their puzzle.

  2. I think the battle for the Central is going to be amazing and could come down to the week 14 Fine Lady Bowl to determine the winner.  If San Antonio stays as hot as they have been over the last month the Kats may have more than they can handle.

  3. I think the East is a 3 team race if, and only if, Philadelphia can beat New Delhi this week.  The Dark Side must perform better than the Whalers did this week against the Subs. If they can, and they win out, then they might just be able to sneak the division away from the Subs.

  4. I think the West is going to come down to Los Angeles and Taipei. This division will still be in doubt in Week 14 when the Lords battle the Darkside, and the Personality lock horns with the Animals.

  5. I think Tequila is about to lock up the #1 pick now that Cooper Kupp has been put on the IR with an ankle injury and his season is over.

  6. I think Week 14 will be the best week of the season.  LA v Philadelphia, SA v Tabbi’s, Taipei v Cincinnati, New Whiteland v New Delhi, and Pittsburgh v Indy could have serious playoff implications for one if not both teams involved. If you are a team that has no playoff ambitions this season it is your job to put up the best fight you can, nothing is easy.

  7. I think there are a lot of variables right now, but this has the potential to be the craziest last 4 weeks of any season the IFFL has ever seen.  Way to go schedule creator, you have done very well and the fans love you for it.
Nov. 09, 2022
  1. I think the Mexican’ts win over Taipei this week is amazing and is indicative of just how much the Mexican’ts have underperformed this season. More so than them being better than the Personality.

  2. I think the cream of the crop is rising to the top. New Delhi, Hartford, Philadelphia, Tabbi’s, Indy, & Los Angeles are in the playoff hunt and consistently winning. This ought to be an amazing finish to the regular season and the playoff battle will be just as good.

  3. I think fans in Chicago have to be asking what is going on. A week after trading Murray and McLaurin Chicago turned around and traded Ekeler and Mixon. Some fans have even asked the league office to make sure owner Shadd Wright has not fallen and bumped his head.

  4. I think right now the odds-on favorite for MVP, Josh Allen, has to be asking himself if he is even going to be able to play again this season.  Allen has a UCL injury which in baseball or tennis takes a year to recover from.

  5. I think Tequila is sitting pretty for the overall #1 pick in the draft. It has taken a lot of work for the commissioner’s team to fall this far.

  6. I think that one of the following teams miss out on the playoffs this year and that will be a shame.  Los Angeles, Hartford, or Philadelphia are right now fighting for 2 playoff spots.

  7. I think Tabbi’s Kats, if they don’t lose Josh Allen, will win the IFFL championship this season.
Nov. 02, 2022
  1. I think someone might want to put the Scarecrows down for good, LA tried this weekend but were stifled by the South Carolina defense.  The most dangerous Scarecrow team is a team that still has hope.

  2. I think San Antonio getting their first win in week 9 is great for the league and the team, although if they keep winning, they will jeopardize that #1 overall draft choice.

  3. I think the trade between San Antonio and Los Angeles, is good for both teams, Lamb looks more comfortable after one game in SA than he did in the 4 games he was in LA.  Conversely Waddle doesn’t hurt the Lords at all and brings Singletary to town to add some depth to the backfield.

  4. I think trading Kyler Murray now to the Dark Side is a great move, getting Stafford who has had some issues this season but he looks primed to breakout of his funk soon should help make it a great deal for them.

  5. I think AJ Brown might really like playing with Kyler Murray 1 game 3 TD catches, looks like he will finally be used correctly.

  6. I think there will still be 1 big trade before the trade deadline in a week.  It just feels like there is still one league changing trade to be made before the trade deadline comes to pass.

  7. I think the last 5 weeks of the season is going to be wide open, setting up a great playoff season.
Oct. 28, 2022
  1. I think it is a total fluke that Pittsburgh handed Taipei their first loss of the season.

  2. I think the trade made by New Delhi is very risky. David Montgomery is not very durable.

  3. I think Philadelphia is much better than they are playing right now. The benching of Matt Stafford should wake some folks up in the locker room and the team should bounce back fast.

  4. I think San Antonio may have to wait until next season to get a win, they are also perilously close to being eliminated from playoff contention.  Last season’s darlings seem to be on pace for the last place trophy yet again.

  5. I think 2 losses in the last 3 games is only slightly concerning for the Bagels.  They are going to need to get Christian McCaffery back up to speed ASAP, there is no word on whether he is hurt or not.

  6. I think the Central is anyone’s division to win right now. The favorites are the Kats or the Animals to finish the season atop the division.

  7. I think we are half way through the season and still no one has separated from the pack as the best team in the league.
Oct. 05, 2022
  1. I think the Kats losing again this week is nothing for them to be worried about. There are still 10 games to play; now if they lose again next week then there might be some cause for concern. 

  2. I think Los Angeles deserves big props for beating the Kats this week. They knew they had to play a perfect game and they went out and executed the gameplan.

  3. I think San Antonio might have some of the worst luck of all this year. The team has scored 188 points over the first 4 weeks and still haven’t won a game this year. I can guarantee after Sunday there will only be one winless team in the IFFL this season.  Domestic Violence Bowl coming right up.

  4. I think Cincinnati is for real and we are all sleeping on the greatness of Bagels, especially with Cream Cheese.  Seriously though, McCaffrey is healthy and playing up to his early career reputation. While Lawrence is showing that he is more than likely the second coming of Peyton.

  5. I think this is a very competitive season in the league and there is good communication between owners; as you can see there is some good player movement already this season.

  6. I think the injury to Javonte Williams will be a back breaker for Tequila going forward.

  7. I think Chicago is back on track, getting the game they needed from Ekler and Murray when they needed it the most. Murray really hasno reason to be playing as poorly as he has this season.
Sep. 28, 2022
  1. I think the Kats getting beat by the Bagels says more about how good the Bagels are rather than how bad the Kats looked this week.  Josh Allen and Co will be back and should get a nice win this week against the Lords.

  2. I think New Whiteland is going to have some explaining to do this week in reference to how fast the team reinserted Tua Tagovailoa after an apparent head injury on Sunday.  Even though Tua was cleared to return to the game it seemed awfully suspicious, like beating Chicago meant more than player safety.

  3. I think the trade between Indy and Los Angeles was a big help for both teams and in the long run will help both teams.  It gave Los Angeles the additional receiver it desperately needed and gave Indy the RB that they were needing. This is the definition of an even trade.

  4. I think that South Carolina fans should be clamoring for the team to make some moves even if that means moving all world WR Justin Jefferson.

  5. I think Chicago and San Antonio should be looking to the future and figuring out how to rebuild for next season as this year might just be lost after 3 weeks.

  6. I think Gabe Davis had awesome cleats this past weekend, inspired by this writers favorite show “The Office” they featured the character Prison Mike. They were a sight to behold, make sure that you google the cleats if interested.

  7. I think the Kats should be filing a lawsuit against the league. The first 7 games are murderous for the Kats this season but will only help them in the end trying to win the franchise’s first title.
Sep. 22, 2022
  1. I think someone might want to beat the Kats soon. As they keep winning and gaining confidence they will start to believe they are invincible.

  2. I think the surprise team of the year is Cincinnati. The Bagels have somehow found a way to keep Christian McCaffrey healthy and on the field.

  3. I think South Carolina needs help getting the ball into the endzone, and fast. They may soon find themselves out of contention for anything other than the Toilet Bowl.

  4. I think San Antonio gets their first win of the season in week 3…haha! Just joking. They would have trouble beating a team of one-armed men with a one-legged kicker right now.

  5. I think New Delhi should be worried about how the team comes back from this miserable 1-1 start. They have looked lifeless, and if not for a dropped TD from AJ Brown this week they could very well be 0-2. Lets see how they play this weekend.

  6. I think for the 4 teams that are 0-2 this is a pivotal week in the season.  They all need to play better and get a win this week and I guarantee that there will be no more than 3 teams at 0-3 next week.

  7. I think I know that this is Honey Mustard week! The Subs and the Whale meet in New Delhi to continue their 18 year long rivalry. This game should be a classic!
Sep. 18, 2022
  1. I think week 1 is in the books and my predictions are still looking pretty solid, except somehow Pittsburgh took the L this week.

  2.  I think San Antonio is cursed. The team lost star QB Dak Prescott for about 8 weeks due to injury. Backup Jameis Winston has to come in and take care of business while Prescott is out.

  3. I think the Jeff Wilson signing by South Carolina is a great signing.

  4. I think the win by Cincinnati is one of the most amazing results of the weekend.

  5. I think Los Angeles needs help at WR and in a hurry, the team didn’t have much luck this weekend causing 4 ints.

  6. I think Josh Allen will prevail as the MVP this year. That guy is good.

  7. I think Hartford made the correct pick taking Patrick Mahomes with the 2nd pick, which might just help the Whale surprise a lot of people this year.
Sep. 10, 2022
  1. I think after 7 years we are back full time! After covering the Taipei v Salisbury (Now Los Angeles?) game in week 1 of 2014 in Taipei, I have finally escaped my Chinese captors. They aren’t kidding their will be consequences if you say Taiwan is free. I’m now up to speed on what has transpired over the last 7 seasons. Who the Hell let New Delhi win a 3rd title? As always if you have anything I should know about, email me at 7things@iffl.org. Let’s have a great season!

  2. I think the Division Champions will look like this at the end of the season: Pittsburgh in the East, Tabbi’s will repeat in the Central, and Salisbury, err... I mean, Los Angeles in the West.

  3. I think the East is going to be a knock down, drag out battle and ultimately Pittsburgh gets the better of Philadelphia (who?), South Carolina, and Hartford

  4. I think the Central is a foregone conclusion. Tabbi’s Kats are by far the best team in the league and the rest of the division is going to be lucky to get another team into the playoffs this season.

  5. I think the West is the most unpredictable division of them all once again. As all 4 teams fight for the division and the final playoff bye. Salisbury, err... I mean, Los Angeles is very talented but they have long been cursed when it comes to competing, mired for years as an also ran team. Tequila looks as though they may be in a down year but never count them out. Taipei and San Antonio could be out of contention early on.

  6. I think Salisbury, err... I mean, Los Angeles and Tabbi’s get the byes in the playoffs, with Pittsburgh, Tequila, Philadelphia (who?), and Hartford rounding out the playoff field. Pittsburgh and Philadelphia (who?) will win their Wild Card games.

  7. I think on championship Sunday we will have a Super Bowl of Salisbury, err... I mean, Los Angeles v Hartford, with the Whale taking the title and a Super Bowl MVP performance from new face of the franchise, QB Kermit the Frog Patrick Mahomes.

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